Prologue

Mary Ann Miller called her best friend Alexander(A.J. to his fans). "Hello?," he answered after the third rang.
"Hey! Guess who?" A.J. pretended to think. Mary, quietly, chuckled. She knew that A.J. was playin' and that was one of the reasons they got along together, his constant joking.
"Who?," he asked.
"You know who! It's Mary!," she replied.
"Hey Mary. What's up?"
"You'll never going to beleive this, but I got accepted into Flordia State. For veternarian school!"
"That's great! When will you be down here?" Asked an exited A.J. It seemed, like, forever since he'd seen his best friend. "I'm suppossed to get in next week. Will you pick me up?"
"How much will I get paid for it?," asked A.J.
Even though A.J. couldn't see,Mary rolled her eyes and sighed. "A.J.," she said.
"I'll pick you up, don't worry. When's your flight get in?"
"Around noon. I have another favor to ask you."
"Shoot," said A.J.
"I know this is last minute and all, but school doesn't start for another couple of weeks. So, could I possibly stay with you?"
A.J. laughed,"Of course! You didn't even need to ask, besides we'll be able to catch up." Mary smiled. "Listen, I hate to cut this short, but I have to go. I have a recording session to get to," A.J. apologized.
"No sweat, talk to ya later." As Mary hung up she worndered if she'd ever get A.J. to see her as anything other than a best friend.

CHAPTER ONE

It was the day that Mary was to arrive. A.J. was sitting on a chair, when he spotted her. He stood up and waved her over. She ran over and they hugged. She pretended to be shocked,"The great A.J.'s here! And, he's still in one piece, I can't beleive it!"
A.J. rolled his eyes and then laughed,"Yeah. Well..."
"Let's go get my bags," Mary said, while pulling A.J. by the hand. "There they are," she said. She reached on the conveyor belt to grab them. She felt herself teetering, but knew it was too late to do anything about it. She let out a yelp and pitched forward, onto the conveyor belt. she landed with her stomach hitting the belt. But, she recovered and was able to grab both her bags and get off the belt, before it got too far. Everyone was laughing and clapping, even A.J. Mary was completely embarressed, but she managed to smile and bow. She even said,"Thank you! Thank you!" As A.J and her walked out to A.J.'s car he was still laughing about it.
"That was a good show you put on. What other times will you be there?," He joked.
Mary smiled and said,"I don't find that the least bit funny."
"Oh, it was plenty funny!" Exclaimed A.J. Without warning Mary elbowed A.J. in the side. "Ow!," he yelped, while looking at her.
She laughed,"Now that was funny." They loaded her luggage into the trunk and then got into the car.
"I've got to get to the studio. We've got rehersals for about an hour. Do you mind going with me?"
Mary shook her head no,"I'd like to see you guys reherse. And I can't wait to meet the others." Fifteen minutes later A.J. pulled into the parking lot of Jive Records. Mary cast him a confused look. Reading her mind he replied,"We practice in the basement." They walked into the building and down to the basement. She saw four other guys sitting on a couch, talking, and their dancers were warming up. A.J. and her walked upto the other guys. "This is Mary. Mary, that's Brian, Kevin, Nick, and Howie." They all shook hands with her.
"So, this is the infamous best friend we keep hearing about?" Asked Nick. Mary blushed and smiled.
"How was your flight?," Kevin politely asked.
Mary shrugged,"It was fine. Except that there was a guy in front of me that kept rearing his seat back. It rested against my knees for ninty-percent of the trip." They all laughed.
A.J. gave a knowing smile,"I bet nothing that happened on the flight compared with the performance Mary gave at the conveyor belt." They all saw Mary's face turn beet-red in two seconds flat, and knew that something had happened.
"What show?" Asked a curious Brian. A.J. looked at Mary and she knew he couldn't resist telling, so she just nodded. When A.J. finished telling the story all the guys were laughing. Mary just stood there, looking embarresed.
Howie noticed the look and forced himself to stop laughing. He said, completely sober,"Okey that's enough. We've all had a good laugh, so stop." They all did and Mary looked at Howie in surprise.
'Wonder why he took up for me, I did just meet him,' she thought to herself. Just then three women ran upto them and were smiling.
"Mary, that's Brian's wife Leighanne, Kevin's wife Kristin, and Nick's girlfriend Tiffany. Ladies, this is my very best friend Mary Miller." All the women shook hands and told each other hello.
"It's nice to meet you," said Kristin.
"It's nice to meet you all also," Mary replied.
Just then another woman walked in and said,"It's time to reherese guys."
A.J. said,"Fatima this is Mary Miller. Mary, this is our chorographer Fatima." A couple minutes later the guys and their dancers were practicing, while Mary and the other women were sitting at the side, watching.
'A.J. looks good out there,' Mary thought to herself with a smile. A couple hours later they were through with rehersals. The dancers told everybody bye and went their seperate ways, while the guys walked over to the girls.
"So, what'd you think?," A.J. asked Mary.
"I thought it looked great," was her answer.
"Who's hungry?," wondered Nick.
They all were and A.J. answered, "McDonald's!" Everyone else sighed.
Pointing at Nick, Tiffany said,"Well, we've got one that's always hungry." Then she pointed at A.J. and added,"And we've got one that only wants to eat at McDonald's. What are we going to do with them?"
"We could always lock them in a room until they change," suggested Howie.
Tiffany shook her head and smiled,"Nah. They'd be in there for years!"
Nick knew she was just joking but he said,"You! Come here." She walked over to him and he grabbed her and kissed her.
Suddenly Kevin got an idea and said,"How about we all go to the restraunt we want, get our food, and meet back at Kristin's and my house to eat?"
They all liked the idea and Brian said,"We shoulda thought of that sooner."
Mary noticed that everyone except Howie had someone to go with and she felt bad for him. "Howie, why don't you come with us to get somethin' to eat?," she asked him.
He looked uncertain,"I don't know..."
"Aw come on D, it'll be fun. We can drive you back later to get your car," A.J. chimed in.
Howie smiled,"Okey." When they were all three in the car he asked,"So, where we goin'?" Before anyone could answer, he answered himself,"Let me guess. McDonalds."
A.J. grinned a huge smile, "You got it man!" Howie and Mary looked at each other and rolled their eyes toward the heavens. "Don't think I didn't see that," A,J, said. They just laughed.

CHAPTER TWO

An hour later they'd all arrived at Kevin and Kristin's house and were all seated at a picnic table in the backyard. Howie couldn't help noticing how beautiful, nice, and smart Mary was. "You didn't want anything good, uh?" Nick asked Mary, while eyeing her salad and blueberry shake. A.J. laughed and commented,"I've been asking her that same question for years!"
"Hey!," Mary protested. She added,"I like health food. Besides, I am from California. The health capitol of the world." The others had to agree with that.
"It seems like all people eat, in California, are salads." Stated Brian.
"When does school start back up? A.J. told us you were studing to be a vet," said Leighanne.
Mary smiled and nodded,"Yep. I love animals."
A.J. just had to say something,"You got that right. Everytime I'd go to her house it was like a zoo. She had a rabbit, two cats, two dogs, a ferret, fish, and a parakeet!" A.J. was out of breath from saying that and they all laughed.
"Excuse me, but I like animals. I start school back in a couple weeks, I can't wait!"
"That's cool," said Kristin.
"Thanks," replied Mary.
An hour later Howie asked,"Yo, A.J., can you drive me back to get my car? I need to be gettin' home."
"Sure, no problemo man," answered A.J.
"I'm coming with you," Mary told A.J.
A.J. just laughed and said,"Then let's roll!" A.J., Howie,a nd Mary told the others bye and left.
Mary twisted around in the passenger seat, so she could look at Howie, and asked,"What do you like to do for fun? Besides your career that is."
Howie shrugged,"A lot of different stuff. I like to bowl, watch movies. My favorite one is The Outsiders, ever seen it?"
Mary smiled,"That movie is so cool! The three best scenes are when they're at the movies, in the beginning, where Soda Pop, Darrell, and Pony Boy hug at the hospital, and where they rumble at the end."
Howie smiled so huge his face could've cracked,"I know what you mean! It's not just the storyline, the movie's got great actors in it."
Mary nodded,"It had Tom Cruise in it. I also love his movie Top Gun. Do you like it?"
Howie nodded. 'I wonder if she'd go on a date with me?,' he asked himself. They talked about some other stuff and then finally arrived at the studio, where Howie's car was.
They stopped talking and A.J. said,"Wow! I can't beleive you two finally quit talking! I thought mabey you forgot I was here." At the same time Mary hit A.J. on the arm and Howie hit him in the back of the head.

CHAPTER THREE

Two weeks had passed and Howie and Mary had gotten to be good friends. Howie went over to A.J.'s house and Mary answered the door. "Hey you," she said with a smile.
He smiled back,"Hey yourself. How ya doin'?"
"Can't complain. Come on in," she replied. He obliged and they sat down in the livingroom.
"I just came by to give A.J. a ride to rehersals. His car's on the fritz again."
Mary laughed,"Why doesn't he either get a new one or get that one fixed?"
He shrugged and answered,"Something about not messing with authenticity." They both looked at each other and laughed.
"Howie,what are you doing tonight?," asked Mary.
He thought a minute,"Nothing. Why?"
Mary answered, "A.J.'s got a performance to put on, as Johnny-No-Name, and I don't really wanna go see it. But, I don't want to stay by myself either. So, I thought you could come over here tonight and we could watch some movies."
He nodded and smiled,"Yeah, we can do that. What time?"
"Around seven?," she asked.
"I can be here by then. I'll make a stop at the video store on my way."
She hugged him and said,"You're my Godsend, you know that?"
"Thanks," he whispered. 'Mabey I can ask her out tonight,' he thought to himself.

At six A.J. walked into the livingroom and said,"I'm going to be leaving now. What do you plan to do tonight?"
"Howie's coming by in about an hour and we're just going to watch movies," Mary answered.
A.J. smiled and said,"Well, have fun." While walking to his car he thought,'They'd make a cute couple.' Inside Mary sat down, with her Bible,and stated to read Matthew 2:1-17. When she was done she said a silent prayer. She always felt better after reading her Bible and praying. Anybody that knew her knew that she was a devout Christian. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was 6:40. She walked into the kitchen and decided to get some snacks ready. She got a tray out and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. Just then there was a knock on the door. "Must be Howie," she murmered as she went to answer it.
After she opened the door she saw his smiling face and he said,"Hiya." She stepped by and let him in.
After she shut the door she saw the bag in his hand and asked,"What movies did you get?"
"I wasn't sure what to get, so I got four. If we don't have enough time to watch them all, there's always next time."
She smiled,"We might have time tonight. A.J. said that he didn't know what time he'd get home, could be in the early morning hours."
"Well, I got The Outsiders, X-Men, Lost Boys, and City of Angels. Do those sound good?"
Mary smiled and nodded enthusiastically,"Sounds great!"
"Good," he said with releif. Just then there was a beep.
"The popcorn's done. Come on, you can help me with the snacks," Mary said. Howie and her walked into the kitchen.
As Howie got the popcorn out he asked,"I thought you didn't eat junkfood?"
"I don't. That's unbuttered popcorn. I figured if you want butter you can put some of the spray kind on, it's in the cabinet."
Howie laughed and shook his head,"You're not going to try and get me to eat like you? Most people want to push their thing on others."
Mary said,"Nope. I think everyone is entitled to what they like. Except, I will talk about the Lord to people."
Howie was sober,"That's good. I think all reliious people should do that." He got two small bowels and poured popcorn in each. He left Mary's unbuttered but buttered his. He sat them on the tray and then asked, "What would you like to drink?"
"There are some bottles of flavored water in the fridge. Could you hand me a Tropical flavored?"
"No Prob," he said reaching into the refridgerator. He sat down her water and a Root Beer on the tray.
She asked,"Is there anything else you'd like?"
"Does A.J. have any of those apple fruit bars?," he asked.
"You like those?," she asked while reaching into a box.
He nodded," They're great."
She nodded,"They're my fave! I can't believe we have so much in common."
Howie shrugged,"Mabey we were meant to meet and become friends."
"Mabey," she said with a smile. She sat four fruit bars on the tray and said,"Let's watch some movies!"
They walked into the living- room and he asked,"Which one first?"
"The Outsiders. Defiantly!," she answered with certinty.
"You got it," replied a smiling Howie. While the video was showing previews,for other stuff, Howie asked,"How was school today? You're always saying how much fun it is."
Mary smiled and looked at him,"Thanks for asking. It was great! I got an A on my math test."
Howie smiled,"That's great! Math isn't easy."

CHAPTER FOUR

It was around three in the morning when they watched the last movie. "A.J. must be at a club, dancin'," said Howie.
Mary laughed and said,"He always has loved dancing and singing." She then looked at Howie and asked,"If I tell you something do you promise to keep it confident?"
Howie returned her gaze and said,"I promise. What is it?"
Mary breathed a deep sigh and then she began, "You can't tell A.J. this, but I'm in......love with him."
Howie was shocked but recovered quickly and asked,"You are?" He tried to keep the dissapointment out of his voice and off his face. Evidently he did a good job, because she didn't seem to notice his discomfort.
She nodded,"Yes I am. I have been for... I don't know how long. I just can't seem to get him to notice me as anything but a best friend." Howie just sat there and listened, he didn't know what to do. All he knew was that he didn't have a chance with Mary.
"You aren't going to tell him, are you?," Mary asked. She was scared that he was being so quiet.
Howie slowly shook his head,"No. I promised I wouldn't tell and I won't. I always keep my promises." Howie knew that he couldn't act like she'd hurt him, because she'd figure out that he liked her. If he couldn't date her he at least wanted to be her friend, he'd just have to stop loving her.
Just then A.J. walked in and said,"What'cha ya doin'?"
Mary answered,"Nothing. We just finished watching some movies, so we were talking."
"That's right," Howie added. Howie looked at his watch and said,"I'd better be going."
A.J. laughed and said,"Looks like we'll all be sleeping in!" Howie told them both good-bye and left. A.J. and Mary talked for a few minutes and then they each went to their rooms.

CHAPTER FIVE

A week later they were all over at Nick's, having a cookout. The guys had some time off, before tour. They were all outside, swimming, when a phone rung and started playing "Amazing Grace."
"That's got to be Mary's phone," Kevin said.
Mary smiled,"That's my favorite religous song."
She got out of the pool and walked to the table. "Hello," she answered.
"Hiya Mary!," said a good friend of hers.
"Brett! How are you?," she exclaimed.
"I'm fine," he replied.
"I'm fine too," said another good friend.
Mary laughed,"Howdy Sarafina! Are you guys on speaker phone?"
Sarafina was the one to answer,"Yep. Actually, we're over at your parents' house with our parents'."
Mary was confused, "Why?"
"Should we tell her?," joked Brett. Mary could hear the smile in his voice and couldn't help but smile herself.
Sarafina played along and said, "I don't know..."
Mary laughed,"You guys had better tell me, or I'll personally fly down there and kick your butts."
"She's threatining us, can you beleive that?" Sarafina asked with fake shock.
Brett said,"Well, mabey we should tell her. I don't want to on the receiving end of one of her butt kickings."
"Well, we came over to talk to your parents' about us going down there to visit you. We wanted to see what you'd be doing, and they told us that you were just hanging with you-know-who." Sarafina replied.
Brett picked it up,"And, between my parent's, 'Fina's parents', and what we've got saved ,we're be able to fly down and see you."
Mary was so excited,"You are?! I haven't seen you guys in so long! When are you coming?" She was vaguly aware that the others had gotten out of the pool and were sitting at the table.
"Next week, for Spring break," said Brett.
"I can't wait to see you guys, this is going to be so much fun!"
"We can't wait to see you either," Sarafina exclaimed.
"Listen, we'd better get off of here. But, we'll see you next week." Brett said.
"Okey, bye," Mary said. They hung up and Mary put her phone down. She stood there for a minute, then she ran over to Howie, and hugged him. 'If only you knew I love you,' he thought to himself. He'd tried to stop loving Mary, but he just couldn't.
They all laughed and Tiffany asked, "What are you so exited about?"
"Two good friends of mine are coming to visit next week, for Spring break! I haven't seen them since I moved down here."
"Who are they?," asked a curious A.J.
"Sarafina Baker and Brett Johnson," answered Mary.
"I haven't met them before, have I?"
Mary shook her head, "Nope."

CHAPTER SIX

It was the day that Sarafina and Brett were to arrive at the airport, and Mary was there to pick them up. The others were all back at A.J.'s, decorating for the WELCOME party. Mary finally spotted them and waved her hand. They ran over to her and they all three hugged. "I'm so glad to see you guys!," Mary said. They went and got into Mary's black Camero.
"Nice wheels," commented Brett.
"Thanks. I put a down payment on her a couple weeks ago, with my first paycheck."
"Where'd you say you work?," asked Sarafina.
"A vetrinarian's office as an assisstant. I need all the experience I can get," replied Mary. "Luckily today was my day off," she added. A few minutes later they arrived at A.J.'s house.
Brett whistled,"This guy's livin' large!"
Mary and Sarafina laughed and Mary said,"Yeah. But, I've known him forever and he's the sweetest guy you could ever meet."
Brett pretended to be hurt,"What about me?"
"I'm sorry. Besides you, that is." Mary said, with a smile.
They all three walked into A.J.'s house, and the others yelled,"Welcome!" Sarafina and Brett seemed shocked, but Mary just laughed. When she saw the looks on their faces she just laughed that much harder.
A minute later she was able to sputter out,"I-it's okay. They're j-just welcoming you g-guys here." Sarafina and Brett thought about how they must look and started laughing. Mary did the introductions. "This is A.J., Howie, Brian, Brian's wife Leighanne, Kevin, Kevin's wife Kristin, Nick, and his girlfriend Tiffani. Everyone these are two good friends of mine, Sarafina and Brett."
They all shook hands and Sarafina said,"You all can call me 'Fina. Everyone does."
"What happened to you living in a dorm?," asked Brett.
Mary sighed,"You won't beleive what happened. I sent the college my one-hundred and fifty deposit, which was suppossed to hold me a dorm. Three days before school started they called me and told me that I couldn't get in a dorm. They told me that they'd overbooked and I was too far down on the list, and they had to cut me. And, to make matters worse I found out that they done this to about thirty other people."
"Oh my gosh!," exclaimed Sarafina.
"Did you get your money back? If you didn't I'll go talk to them about it," threatened Brett.
Mary laughed,"Yes I got my money back. Thank God! So, you can just calm down."
"So,you're staying here?," questioned Brett.
Mary nodded, looked at A.J., and said,"Well people do say that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
A.J. pretened to be offended and said,"Why you little..."
"Tsk,tsk. You're so abusive," Mary said with a sly smile. A.J. just rolled his eyes and started tickling her. Everyone, but Howie, were laughing by now. Howie tried not too, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

CHAPTER SEVEN

An hour had passed and they were all inside A.J.'s house watching The Crow: Stairway to Heaven. This was usually one of Mary's favorite shows, but she just couldn't enjoy herself. The whole hour all she'd noticed was A.J. and Saraina flirting. She'd seen it so many times before, she could tell A.J. liked Sarafina. The whole time she'd been friends with A.J., she kept seeing A.J. fall for her friends but never for her. She was also mad at Sarafina, for returning the flirting. She didn't want to make a huge scene, so she just sat there and brooded the rest of the hour. When the show went off, she was still depressed. Howie turned to her and said,"I've noticed that you're not your usual happy self." Mary looked at A.J. and Sarafina. Howie immediatly understood what the problem was. Even though he didn't want to hear about her undying love for A.J., he wanted her to be happy more. He whispered,"Wanna go outside and talk about what's bugging you?"
She shot him a grateful look and said,"I would."
Howie turned to the others and said,"Mary and I are going outside for a minute."
"What for?," asked a curious Nick. Tiffani elbowed him and he gave her a look that asked,'What'd I do?!'
Howie smiled a half-smile and said,"We just have something to talk about." Nobody else said anything, so Howie and Mary walked out through the sliding-glass doors and into the back yard.

Everyone in the livingroom looked out the glass-sliding doors and saw Mary and Howie talking. Mary didn't look to happy, in fact she looked upset. They saw that Howie was trying to comfort her and calm her down. "I wonder what she's so upset about," commented a concerned Brian.
"I don't know. I hope she's okey," said Leighanne.
"Mabey I should go help Howie calm her down," said a worried A.J.
"No. I think Howie's handling it. Besides, I think I know what the problem is." Replied Brett. Brett and Sarafina gave each other knowing looks.
"What is it?," asked Nick.
"We can't tell. That's Mary's job, she'll come clean when she feels the time is right." Sarafina answered firmly.

CHAPTER EIGHT

"Mary, everything will be okey. Just calm down," Howie pleaded.
"I don't want to calm down! My friend knows how I feel about A.J., and what does she do?! She flirts with him, right under my nose!" Mary exclaimed.
"I understand, believe me I do. But, you need to calm down. You're going to give yourself a stroke as upset as you!," Howie replied.
She nodded,"I know. You're right. It's just so hard. I've always seen A.J. fall for my friends, but never for me."
As much as it hurt Howie to try and help her get A.J.,he asked,"Have you ever just come out and told him how you felt?"
"No! I could never do that! What if he rejected me and our friendship was ruined? We've been best friends our whole lifes."
"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but, mabey he doesn't realize how you feel. So, he doesn't give you that kind of attention." Howie stated.
"I know you're right. I just keep hoping he'll wake up and realize he's madly in love with me." Mary said, as she looked at Howie. She saw that his eyes were looking past her. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm pitiful and I'm verging on stalker."
That made Howie chuckle and joked,"Mabey the stalker part." Then seriously he said,"But, I could never think you were pitiful."
Mary gave a smile and said,"Thanks."
Howie said, "No sweat. How about we go back inside?"
She nodded,"But I don't know if I'll be able to keep my cool about Sarafina flirting with A.J."
"Well, if you can't, give me a signal. I'll try my best to keep you from killing them."
Mary laughed,"Okay." Howie slung his arm over her shoulders and they started walking back toward the house.

"Here they come," said Leighanne.
Mary and Howie walked in and A.J. asked, "Are you okay, Mary?" She didn't say anything, she just nodded. She gave Sarafina a look that confirmed what she already knew. Mary was mad at her.
"Can we talk outside?," Sarafina asked Mary.
Mary thought a minute and then finally nodded. Her and Sarafina walked into the yard.
When they were gone A.J. asked, "What in the world is going on with Mary? If anybody knows they had better tell me, and I mean now!" Howie and Brett looked at each other. As much as they hated to, they shook their heads.
"We can't tell you. That's Mary's job," Howie replied.
A.J. got a worried look on his face and said,"She isn't sick or something?"
Brett reassured him,"No. Nothing like that. We are sorry, but Mary will have to tell you when the time's right."

Outside Sarafina started the conversation,"I'm sorry Mary. But I like A.J."
"How can you?! You know how I feel about him!," Mary yelled.
Sarafina nodded, "I do. You say you love him. Frankly, I don't beleive it anymore. In the short time we've been here I've seen how you act around Howie. He was about all you talked about on the phone, before we came down. What a great guy he was. And, when Howie's around, he seems to be able to calm you down. You beam at him. I think deep down you love Howie and you don't want to admit it. I don't think you love A.J. I think you were using him as a safety net."
"What are you talking about?" Mary demanded.
"I think you made yourself think you were in love with him, because you knew that you'd never get him. You're afraid to get hurt and you were using that." Sarafina paused a minute and looked at the ground. When she finally looked back up she said,"A.J. asked me out on a date, but I told him no. I didn't tell him why, he thinks I'm playing hard to get."
Mary sighed and looked ashamed and she said,"I'm going back inside. I'm sorry for my behavior." Sarafina just watched her walk back into the house.

In the house she Kristin asked her,"Are you okay?"
Mary nodded and said, "I'm gonna go to my room."
"Mary what's going on? You've always been able to tell me anything," said a concerned A.J.
Mary shook her head and just said, "Not this time." With that she went to her room, while the others stared after her. When she left the room, nothing was the same. Everyone could feel the worry hanging in the air. Howie went home, as did everyone, but A.J., Brett, and Sarafina. They just sat there,not speaking.
Up in her room Mary was sitting on her bed. She had the radio playing and was thinking about what Sarafina had said to her. At first she thought it was stupid, but the more she thought the more it sounded true. She realized that she had developed feelings for Howie, but she hid them. Just then a song by the Backstreet Boys started playing:
Show me the meaning
of being lonley
So many words for the
broken heart
It's hard to see in a
crimson love
So hard to breath
Walk with me, and mabey

Nights of light so soon
become
Wild and free I could feel
the sun
Your every wish will be
done

CHORUS:
Show me the meaning of
being lonley
Is this the feeling I need to
walk with
Tell me why I can't be there
where you are
There's something missing
in my heart

Life goes on as it
never ends
Eyes of stone observe
the trends
They never say forever gaze
Guilty roads to an endless
love
There's no control

Are you with me now
Your every wish will be
done
They tell me....


CHORUS(repeat)
There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heat
body
and soul
How can it be you're asking
me to feel the things you
never show
You are missing in my heart
Tell me why I can't be there
where you are

CHORUS(repeat)

When the song was over Mary was crying her eyes out. She knew in her heart that Howie was the one she loved, not A.J. She knew what she had to do. She wiped her eyes and went into the bathroom to freshen up. When she was satisfied with her appearence, she ran downstairs. The other three were still sitting in the livingroom. She grabbed her car keys and went to the door. All she said was,"I'm going out. I'll be back later." It took all Sarafina and Brett had to keep A.J. from following her. They had a feeling they knew where she was going.
Ten minutes later she pulled up in front of Howie's house and parked. She walked to the door. After she took a deep breath she knocked. It only took a few minutes for Howie to open the door, but to her it seemed like forever. He looked at her in surprise and said,"Hey Mary. Come on in." She obliged and they walked into the livingroom.
They sat down and Howie asked,"Do you need my help with.....A.J.?" For some reason Mary bursted into laughter, while Howie looked at her in confusion.
She quite laughing and said,"I came here to tell you something."
"What?," he wondered. Just looking at his handsome face made her insides tourn to jelly and made her nervous.
"Breath. You can do this!" She exclaimed outloud.
"What?," Howie asked.
"Oh...nothing," she quickly said. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Mary got her courage up to tell him. She turned around, to where they were looking into each others' eyes. She started,"Remember when I went outside to talk to Sarafina?" After he nodded she continued,"She said some things to me that made sense. I went to my room and heard "Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonley", on the radio. It only confirmed what I already knew." She took a deep breath and the plunged in, "Howie I.....love you."
Howie just sat there and said,"I know. As a friend."
Mary frantically shook her head and said,"No! I'm in love with you."
He looked at her in shock and asked,"You are?" She nodded. "All you've ever told me was that you've always loved A.J." He wasn't going to put his heart on the line until he was sure she was telling the truth.
"I know, but I'm not. Sarafina told me that she thought I was just using that excuse, because I was afraid to get hurt. And she's right, I was."
"What do you mean?," asked Howie.
"I've had relationships that have ended, needless to say, badly. I swore to myself that I wouldn't let myself get hurt again. So, I latched onto a guy that I knew that I could never have. Because, he'd only see me as his best friend, and that was A.J. But I've fallen in love with you. And, I beleive 100% that it was my destiny."
"Your destiny,?" asked a confused Howie.
Mary gave him a huge smile and said,"Yep. I prayed that I would find the right guy and I think that God knew that was you. He let me get into the school here, so I'd meet you and fall in love."
Howie grinned back at her and said,"I prayed to find the right one too. You don't know how long I've wanted to hear those three little words from you. I fell in love with you the day I met you."
Mary blinked back the tears and asked,"Really?"
Howie nodded,"Really. I love you Mary."
"I love you too Howie." They kissed their first kiss and hugged.
Howie whispered in her ear,"I'll be thanking God everyday for you." Mary smiled so big, she thought her face was going to crack. She knew she'd be thanking Him also, she had finally found her one true love in Howie Dorough.

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