Why I am better than YOU!

I was walking down the street one day and I was minding my own business when out of nowhere I get steam rolled but something so powerful that I actually lost my balance. When I got myself back on track what do I see?....lard and lots of it. It looked like someone had found a beached whale, nursed it back to health, thrown it in the most hideous spandex outfit and sent it on a blubber walk. By the time I found a suitable rock to throw at this walking cow, the hoe had managed to roll down the hill to safety. She got me again when I tried to walk and almost drowned in the ocean of sweat this beast left behind…is it even normal to sweat so much that you leave some BEHIND?! Bottom line, fat people suck!

I was at my local gym for the first time keeping myself from becoming fat and on my way to the men’s change room. As I proceed to open my locker I notice that there is a whole lot of MAN ASS around me. I mean, these fags did nothing to hide what god gave (or didn’t) to them. I quickly turned around but then realized that my ASS was exposed to a rear attack. I calmed myself down by saying “come on, gay guys don’t workout!”…oh was I ever wrong. As I calmed myself down, I heard the sound that every straight male dreads…the gay lisp of a fag (when they make it that apparent they are no longer gay…they are now fags). The difference between gay guys and fags is that gay guys look like normal everyday males while fags do very little to hide that fact that they like men (oh god it sounds bad even when I TYPE it!) Bottom line, fags and gay guys suck! (Literally)!

Since these people are basically all over the planet, the fact that I am better than them goes a long way. Now Asians are everywhere and I hate that. There are 3 main reasons why I am better than Asian people. First is the fact that I can speak English. I was once in class and an Asian kid- with his anime t-shirt and his foreign haircut- was sitting there talking crazy Korean talk. I asked him when the test was and his answer was FUCKED!...I said to him “that was by far the most incoherent piece of shit answer I have ever heard and I hope you die very painfully... and very soon”. All this guy did was smile and try to shake my hand….I just left in disgust. Bottom line, Asians suck because they are morons. Next reason is because Asian people in general smell really bad. Either they smell like B.O, feces or moth balls. Now don’t ask me why they smell like moth balls because really, I don’t care what you have to say. But regardless every time they sit beside me I want to vomit on them to make them smell better. Either that or kick them in the groin. Bottom line, I don’t smell like crap so I win again. Finally, I’m better than Asian people because I can SEE! Seriously, sometimes I wonder how there people see, especially when it is sunny out. They can’t squint or they’ll be BLIND! Some are ok but then every now and then you see one and it looks like his eyes were wired shut! Bottom line, I can see so I don’t suck.!