So I’m sitting there doing my whole internet thing and I hear “UH OH”. I automatically assume that one of my friends want to waste my time again cause I got that fuckin ICQ open (ICQ is online happiness?....eat feces). So I click and it’s a random user. Not one of these fuck heads! All I see is “Wanna chat?” At that point I’m pretty pissed off because I had to actually use my own energy to click on the blinking fag symbol and waste my time opening the bitch connection up. I proceeded to call this random person I’ve never met phrases like “dried feces ass chunk” and “vomit smelling body waste” and so on and so forth. Not only did this person come from some foreign island off the east coast of nowheresville, but they tried to convince me that he was worth talking to…FUCK OFF!
The other fantastic thing about ICQ is when people piss you off so much that you wanna just rip their eyeballs out of their sockets with the handle of a screwdriver. But you CAN’T since they are on their computer at HOME safe from your grasp. So you just sit there and vent at the blinking icons and anger building messages.
Then there are the guys that get mad at you for telling them to fuck off. They come back with such classic messages as “wanna fight?!”…YES…I would LOVE TO FIGHT YOU! That’s the whole point of telling you to fuck off! But once again, I’m left steaming in my own rage attack.
Oh and you have to love the people who have nothing to do and just bust out with the most clever three letter word in the human vocabulary…”sup” It went from the ever popular “What is up” to ‘whats up” to then “wasup” and now we are at a point in the human civilization that SUP constitutes as a greeting which is met by the equally clever response “nothing, u?”
Finally, every guy’s favorite part of ICQ, the chick who comes on just so she can piss you off by acting TOO happy and then she starts shit. She gets all mad and starts yelling (ie. Typing in Caps Lock) and then doesn’t message you for a few days. At this point you think you’ve gotten rid of the lard sack, but no. In a few days you’ll get a message saying “r u mad?” At that point there are only two things you need to do. Invisible…..Ignore. Bottom line, ICQ is the devil.