There comes a time almost once a day in every mans life where he must head to the dreaded place known as “the public restroom”. Here you can get yourself into some nasty situations if you are unaware of the unwritten rules that follow urinals and the procedure behind them. Most guys know them; however as a favour to men everywhere I have compiled a list of rules that are necessary to be followed to have peace in the washroom. They are:
2. (perhaps most important) Leave a one urinal space between each man, this is the comfort zone every man is accustomed to
3. If the one urinal rule is not available and you have to stand next to another man, you must stand at a 30 degree angle turning your back towards the man next to you, as long as no one is on the other side
4. ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU FINISH. It seems so many men have grown accustomed to not washing their hands after using the washroom. This is disgusting and must be forgotten, washing your hands is a must.
5. You must never turn your head or shift your eyes in the direction of another mans goods. That is perhaps the worst thing you can do and is grounds for automatic ass kicking.
6. If you’re ever caught peaking at another mans genitals, take your beating without whining or crying. It was your own fault; you broke the rules and deserved the beating.
7. Never talk to a man while he’s pissing unless it’s urgent. Small talk is discouraged at the urinals especially if it’s with someone you don’t even know!
8. When a man is pissing, he’s in a zone. Anything he may mumble to himself is for his ears only, do not listen and do not repeat anything he may say. It is of no concern to you and should stay that way. Whatever is said at the urinal stays at the urinal.
IF you can follow these 8 easy rules, I can see no urinal arguments occurring. Print out a copy of this and post it in any public washroom you may go into. This helps spread the word to everyone making sure all know about these rules. I have seen to many deaths over these rules being misinterpreted and completely disregarded. Any questions with an interpretation of a rule or perhaps possible scenarios please feel free to e-mail me and I will respond to your queries. If you have a problem with these rules, forget about it as your opinion is worthless… just like you. Follow the rules and you shall have no problems. Remember, I’m better than you are.
1. When going to use a urinal, always choose one on the end, this cuts down the possibility of people standing next to you, and does not make the next guy there uncomfortable.