Sick as a pup
Mood:  don't ask

I just posted an audioblog on MySpace.

Cause I'm sick.  Been sick since Thursday or Friday.

 

And I feel like shit.

But what's in the audioblog is just me talking in my sick voice.
Nothing interesting.

 

I wonder if anyone's found my page yet?

Sure, at first it seems boring, but you have to look around the thing.  I've got like five pages linked together there.

I should add a few more, huh?

 

like a pics page or something.

 

We'll see.  If my MS Frontpage ever starts working again.  I wonder if I can DL a new one.  (It cuts out and closes everytime I try to link an image.)

 

But where was I?  Oh yeah, sick.

And I'm gonna stay sick for the next uhhh.... hour or so.  (I'm being hopeful here.)  I wish I was better tomorrow.

Yeah.
I better be.

300
Mood:  loud

I'm reaching post #300 on my MySpace blog. 
Actually it's the next post.

And I want to write something special.  Something big.
Maybe add some noise, I dunno.

 

I'd ask if you have any ideas, but nobody reads this thing.

 

Get it?  Nobody?

If you've spent some time perusing around my angelfire site, you'd know what I mean.

The Page of the Prophet Unknown.

 

I AM Nobody....

Nobody is here.

Just me, all alone.   Nobody.
(Perhaps I should put it in quotes to help you understand....)

 

But I'm here, wasting space.

I AM a waste of space.....

Nothing is a waste of space.
Well, some things are, to some people, I guess...

 

I'm bored with this.

Off to plan post 300!

 

 

 

Just my luck. Just my life.
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Matchbox Twenty -- Unwell

Some pathetic bullshit here.

I lost an ebay auction last night, and since then, I've been very depressed.
I was angry and irritated last night because of it--the first time I've experienced anger in a long time--and now the depression has lingered to today.

I literally feel like shit.
Thoughts of leaving my coven, it's that bad.
Thoughts of suicide, it's that much worse.

I don't know what I'm thinking half the time, my thoughts are all over the place.
I should probably take a trip to the hospital, if not, call a helpline.

 

But I'm not suicidal, so a helpline is kinda pointless.

 

I just feel like all around crap, and I felt like writing about it in a blog that no one sees.... for now.

Once I get the page done, I'll link it up.

 

Yeah, once I get the page done.
Hopefully that'll be soon.

 

 

But till then I'm supremely depressed, and really need a hug.
heh.

All because of a stupid, petty ebay auction.

 

It's weird, first the love thing, and now the anger, the depression, the humility, and so on--what's with the surge of emotion???

 

Maybe it's just my period.
Yeah, that's it.  I'm moody.

Nah, can't be.

I've got to ponder, (as said above) this surge of emotion.
Why now?
What's going on with me that made this happen?

I'll figure it out.  Believe you me.

 

Update::
Mood:  a-ok

After spending another night with her, I've come to realize that I DO NOT have a crush on my high priestess.

 

All I kept thinking was how much I loved her and in what way.
I love her--truly love her--I mean, there's no mistaking it that this is love.  But the thing is... 

I don't love her in a sexual way.

I can't even picture having sex with her.

 

 

gross.

 

I mean, she's my high priestess!!!

and I'm such a nice guy that I bought her 4 packs of cigarettes this week when I don't have the money.

I just can't believe I'm experiencing this much platonic love for one person.
It's as if I were IN love with her.

But I'm not.

Thank Goddess, I'm not. 

 

 

What's wrong with me???
Mood:  hug me

I've always thought my high priestess was pretty,
but nothing could've prepared me for what the fuck shit I'm going through now.

 

As if it's enough that I have this opinion of her, I have this odd habit of staring at her chest all the time.  I mean, sure, she wears really low cut shirts, but hey, it's not hard to resist.

Actually it is.
Most of the time I'm focused on her pentagram, the way it neatly fits into her cleavage.....

 

But like I said, nothing could've prepared me for what happened these past two days....

 

 

All it was was a dance.
Not even that.

Just a shake.... Just a shimmy.....

 

She'd been blasting her music all night, and just for this one second, she walked to the window, and she danced for a split second.
It was just the way she shook her butt, and I thought to myself, "how cute".

Then my mind spiraled out of control, thinking of how pretty she is, and just cute cause she's short....

It made me realize that I have a crush on her.

 

 

I hate crushes.  They never go away.
I still have a crush on a friend I haven't seen in 2 years.  Now, SHE's a hottie.

I'm a nottie.

But even though I haven't seen her in two years, just the thought of her makes me smile.

 

I just wish I could get this woman out of my head....  I keep wondering....  Do I have a crush??  I mean, it was only a dance.  Pretty, cute, and I'm obsessing.

Moreso obsessing over whether or not I have a crush on her, than actually her.... so maybe I don't have a crush.

 

AAAARGH!

Glad this is posted here and not on MySpace.  She's in my friend list.

Nothing to write about.
Mood:  lazy

No one reads this thing, so I might as well write whatever the fuckity fuck fuck I want.

Bill Gates is a whorebag.

Don't ask me, I just picked a name.

 

I'm sitting here, at the computer, and I've been here for hours.
On Ebay, Abebooks, Azure Green..... visiting a friend's website....

I can't believe one can spend so much time on the computer....

 

So seeing as I haven't written since New Year's 2007, I might as well fill the nobody in on what's happened since then....

 

(I like using dot dot dot dot.)

 

....

 

Just a blah year, me still no job.  Not since 2005.  I applied at about 20-30 places and got ONE callback.  But no luck.

On the bright side, I've gotten a lot of portrait commissions this season, with another 3 due this month.  They're half size, so that means 240 bucks!

I'm doing one for a friend......

 

OH!

 

 

I forgot to tell you.....

I've taken up Paganism.
Yes, I've joined a coven.

It's a lot of fun, and finally in my life I've found some structure.
I go to class every week, and after a year and a day since I began, I get initiated as a witch.

Cool, huh?

Well, I know many wouldn't agree....
(My grandmother thought I was worshipping the devil when I told her about it).

But I don't give a shickity shit shit.          shit.

 

I have this MySpace account, which I never update, but often blog.
If you actually read this and want to hear more, visit http://www.myspace.com/artcfartc109...... I think that link works.

 

But anyhow, I'm getting sick of being on the computer.
It's frustrating knowing that I have to update my MySpace, do a page here, and a couple others at that.  Plus I've got to keep up with my Ebay bids.......

 

Damn.  Online addiction is tough.

 

 

A final note:
Do you know that they have Internet Addicts Anonymous?

Yeah.  It's an online group.

Alas, the heart of my blog remains on MySpace.

Traverse there, I highly reccomend.

ArtC/FartC

Happy New Year and then some...
I went to a friend's house for New Year's this evening.... unfortunately due to my lack of car, I had to leave around 10:30pm.

Quite upsetting.



Well, what really got me was the rudeness of my ex calling me and whatnot.



I could write more, but it's almost 1am and I need to get my big ole butt to sleep.

Happy New Year and then some.




Oh and I ate my first taste of cabbage since I can't even remember when.....

Katina's not that bad a cook......


shit. I have the hiccups.
(I know that's spelled wrong)

Do you know that there's a pressure point on your hand or wrist somewhere that stops the hiccups???


Hopefully I can rid myself of them before hitting the New Year's Haystack.


Fuckin New Year's Hiccups.



Happy Happy Happy New Year's 2007!!!
Paaaaartay!!!!

Fa la lalala la la lala.....
Mood:  lyrical
I pryed them damn old earrings in yesterday and after sleeping on them, I'm in just a teency weency bit of pain...

I need some alcohol.



What sucks about this year's holiday is that I am lacking in gifts for one of my brothers and my father.

I have 5 bucks left.

And the choice is either 5 for a gascard for my brother, or 5 for scratch-offs for dad.


And then there's the fact that I'm in need of some juice, seeing as my fridge is virtually empty.


But I do have the option of re-gifting some stuff I've already got.
I have season one of some show called "Weeds" that you see on Showtime. I also picked up a Japanese Horror flick that I'm too scared to watch, but totally want to due to my wonderful love of everything Asian.

My little brother has a thing for horror and Asian girls, so I might as well give him the stupid movie.


And then there's the need to get something for my Godfather... he gives me a giftcard to J.C.Penney's every year.
Supposedly he made a big stink over me not sending a thank you card last year, when I never send any in the first place.


This year I bought some Xmas Cards that I never sent, lacking in stampage.

I could always write a poem on my homemade paper.







Suddenly I notice this is a boring entry....

I just hope I figure out what to get these people within the next few hours.


Playing Lotto is such a waste of money.

Joys of my Second Blog
Mood:  caffeinated
Tis the season!
And here I sit, blogging unfortunately, whilst I have yet to put up the tree.

It's not much for me to put this tree together, seeing as it's pre-lit.


Still, I procrastinate, realizing that I have no reason to put this tree up so late in the season due to the fact that I'll most likely get no visitors.
I never do.

Nevertheless,
I should put it up.
I'd probably feel a little better knowing it was up and together, with blue and silver garland, and taking it back down to the basement after not even a week.

But it is a major pain in the you-know-what to lug it up 3 flights of stairs, and with 3 days before Christmas, I needent bother.


Maybe if I had someone here to trim my tree with, I'd feel better about it.
There's something about having a full size tree and Christmas decorations (decking the walls) when no one sees it but me, myself and I, where I feel crappy for merely getting myself in the spirit of the season....

yadda yadda big paragraph yadda yadda....


I've been putting it off due to my many a portrait commissions.
I did 6 or 7 this year.


Just let another one go just five minutes ago.
I love to hear people say "Wow! You've really captured her!... here, take another $10 as a tip...."


Tis the season to go broke.
Broker than broke.
and a partridge in a pear tree.


:)