I fumbled around my bed side trying to find the phone in my darkness and finally I picked it up.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Kat, hey it's me AJ remember?" He asked sounding as if he wasn't sure that I had remembered the other night.
"Hey, of course I remember you" I said laughing.
"Yeah I'm sorry it's just I'm kinda weird about this stuff!" AJ said laughing.
"Don't worry I'm more nervous then you are" I said trying to reassure him.
"Well then maybe I should just get over what I need to say right!?" AJ asked.
"Yes believe me I won't bite" I said giggling.
"Well would you like to double with me and Brian tonight? Brian and your friend Lura kinda hit it off last night and you and I did I'm guessing we did so what do you think?" AJ asked.
My heart beated so fast and my palms got all sweaty finally after 4 agonizing years maybe I had beaten a part of this eternal darkness.
"Gosh, you want me to come?" I asked breathlessly.
"Yeah who else would I ask?" AJ asked me.
"I dunno maybe someone else, your girlfriend?" I said trying to hide the fact that I thought he didn't want me coming because of my blindness. I thought I'd be to much of a hassle for him.
"No,no, no you have it all wrong! I don't have a girlfriend I haven't for over a year mainly because the last one almost ruined my carer" AJ said.
"Oh, I'm sorry but are you sure you want me to come? I'll have to bring Niki my guide dog if it won't be to much of a hassle" I told him. Niki had been my one true companion ever since the accident she had been such a great help.
"Wow, you have one of them dogs?" AJ asked.
"Yeah she's really sweet" I said smiling.
"I bet, that's great if you need her then bring her I have no problem with that" AJ said sweetly.
"Thanks AJ so much for thinking of me and all" I said. He had to be the first guy that hadn't ran from me when he saw me. I hadn't even seen what I looked like in three years I had no idea if my face had crumbled in or what.
"Your welcome I mean whatever it takes to get you to come with me well then I'll do it" AJ said. I could see his smile right now I could even imagine his sweet eyes that I'd never laid eyes on twinkling. "Okay then I'll see you tonight right?" I asked.
"Yep, talk to you later girl" AJ said.
"Yeah tonight then bye" I said. I thought I was totally making a fool of myself. What was I thinking ? I was blind there's no way this would ever go anywhere. I got up out of bed and reached over to the intercom pressing the talk button. "Hey mom could you come up here and help me get ready I have something to tell you and ask you" I said. I took my hand off the button and heard my mom coming up the steps.
"Kate what is it?" I heard my mom ask.
"Well mom I just got a call from AJ that guy from the backstreetboys you know? and he asked if I would go out with him Lura and Brian tonight he even said I could take--" I was about to finish when my mom cut me off.
"I don't want you getting hurt Kate don't place your heart in his hands, you are not like everyone else if you don't remember you can't do things like everyone else can you have to have someone to depend on" My mom said.
I felt so hurt that my own mother would try dashing my hopes like this. AJ was supporting me he was letting me depend on him.
"You don't even know him mother he's not like many guys and anyways were just friends stop limiting me because of this damn blindness mother, I know I messed up my life just tell me because I know its coming" I said in bitter anger.
"Fine Kate you do what you think is right I'm just trying to remind you!" My mother said. "I know can you get me my capri's and that tight white tank top?" I asked my mom.
"Yes just a second" My mom said walking over to my dresser and opening it and taking out my clothes. I hopped on my bed and undressed taking off everything except my bra and underwear and putting on my capris and tank top.
"There now if you don't mind I'm going to take Niki out for a walk mother" I said snubing her as I walked out of my room and called Niki.
"Niki come here girl come on you wanna go take a walk down the beach baby?" I asked reaching down to feel for Niki's fur and petting her.She barked her approval and I grabbed her leash and carefully bent down and placed it around her neck. After that Niki plunged forward almost knocking me down on a race towards the door. When we got there Niki started barking and I heard the outside intercom turn on. "Jen it's me Lura let me in" I heard Lura's voice say.
I smiled brightly and Niki led me closer to the door where I opened it.
"Hey!" Lura said. I felt her arms slowly incircle mine and I led my hands out to hug her back. "What are you doing here?" I asked.
I had never even got to see what Lura looked like I had met her at a recovery support meeting 6 months after my accident she to had been hit in a drunk driving related accident and had lived. She of course wasn't the driver but the victom, she was such a support to me during the last 2 and a half years.
"Oh I thought maybe since were going out tonight we should maybe go do a little shopping?" Lura asked with a small laugh at the end.
Lura was a shop acholic and the best to go with she always described what the clothes looked like to me and her and I had the same taste in clothes I bet we even sometimes had the same matching clothes on because of our matchability.
"Sounds great to me let me get my purse okay" I said turning around.
Of course Niki knew just what to do, she led me to the desk where my sak purse was laying. I carefully led my hand across the table and grabbed my purse. Niki led me back to the door where Lura was waiting. "You ready?" Lura asked.
"Yup" I said smiling.
"Okay then, I didn't bring my car I thought the exercise would be better for us" Lura said chuckling. We laughed walking down the sidewalk together. I felt the warm sun beating down on my tan neck and I reached up to scratch from the early sunburn I had gotten earlier that week.
"So what did you and AJ do last night?" Lura asked giggling as if she thought something really had happened.
"Nothing happend he just took me out to the beach and we had some pizza and we talked about ourselves frankly I found it great that he just didn't use me because of my blindness" I said boldly.
"Wow that was nice of him I think AJ really is a nice guy really , I can't even believe that Brian actually was interested in going out with me I was so astonished" Lura gushed.
"So did you have fun last night then?" I asked.
"Yes totally we went back to there house and let me tell you this, Jen that was the awesomest house in the world it was so big and gosh just wonderful, but besides that we went inside and Brian and I talked for like 3 hours about ourselves and all and I really was into him by then and I knew he was digging me so he like leaned forward and kissed me and gosh it was like all my dreams for the last two years slamming right into place it was great Jen" Lura said sighing romanticly.
"Whoa sounds like you got pretty hot and heavy early on" I said laughing.
"Hey would you pass up making out with AJ ?" Lura asked.
"Well no but I doubt that's going to happen I think were just really good friends Lur" I said. "Well you never know Jen things can change just give them time, don't let your blindness limit you girl you still are a whole person your just missing one thing the rest of us have, you could have lost your life in that accident instead you lived so there has to be a purpose in your living today and I believe that has to be to be with AJ" Lura said with a proud tone.
"Your so full of it you know that?" I said laughing.
"Yeah I know I'm right that's all I know" Lura said.
"Well, think what you want I know what I want" I said.
"Yeah AJ" Lura giggled.
"Well maybe will see" I said.
We had already walked atleast a mile to the mall and we had to be close. "Were here" Lura annouced.
"Yeah my legs were about to fall off" I exclaimed reaching down for my leg. "You didn't hurt yourself did you Kste?" Lura asked.
"No I'm fine" I told her letting go of my leg.
We walked into the mall and Lura led me over to her favorite store the Gap. "Here we are" Lura said.
"Yeah now whats on sale today?" I asked Lura.
"Well they have this nice tight black dress that I know will look so great on you for sale for $25.00 you must try it on" Lura said grabbing my hand and spinning me around. We had to leave Niki in a little building with a attendant from the mall while we shopped, poor girl.
I followed Lura's lead while she took the dress off the rack and we walked to the dressing rooms. We got a big one so that she could help me get dressed and all. When it was finally on after tugging and bulging it felt like heaven on me all tight but yet it gave me a free sexy feeling it was just up to Lura to tell me what it looked like on me.
"Wow" was all Lura said.
"What?" I asked.
"It looks so great on you I think I'm going to go grab me the red colored one and then we can match that dress looks like just so awesome on you" Lura said.
"Really?" I questioned.
"Yes, what you don't like the way it feels?" Lura asked.
"No I love it I just you know don't know how it looks so whatever you think is what I'll think" I said. "Well it looks great Kate and if you want it then you got it" Lura said.
"Great you go pick out that red one and I'll try to undress myself" I said laughing.
"Alright lock the door" Lura said as she left. I turned around and felt my way to the door locking it.Once it was locked I got out of the dress and tried to dress myself I got on my shirt but the capri's were gonna be a tad bit harder.
"Kate, let me in" Lura said. I once again felt my way to the door and stepped behind it opening it so no one would see me in my underwear.
"Here I got it let me put it on and see what I think" Lura said.
I just sat in the corner alone in my little dark world thinking and wondering. "Lizz do you ever think I will see again?" I asked with a painful tone.
I heard Lura's dress swish as if she had turned to face me.
"Kate why do you ask me that?" Lura asked.
"I dunno it's like your such a big help to me and I feel like I don't really help you at all" I said sadly. I felt the stinging tears again feeling my eyelids but I tried to ingore there pleas to come out.
"Kate, you know you helped me so much, when I had first come to the group my life was shattered with the death of my family I knew that you though had been through more you had killed someone and had even killed a part of your body you didnt have any strength but yet you tried to hide it from everyone" Lura said.
"Yeah but do you think I will ever live a normal life again?" I asked.
"I dunno Kate sometimes life has it's twists will have to see about this one" Lura said.
I just turned back around crying silently in the corner no one would ever understand the pain I felt.
Two hours later Lura and I had made it home to her apartment and were getting ready for tonights events. "Kate I'm gonna put in these butterfly pins and pin the rest of your hair up in a french twist" Lura told me.
I felt her warm hands pick up all my hair and then twist it slowly then she took her fingers and placed some bobbie pins in my hair to keep it up.I only wished I could do this all for myself but it was to much of a thing to think atleast that's what everyone tried to tell me in there own nice ways.
"There were done don't you look like a angel" Lura said sweetly.
I of course could only imagine a ugly face staring back at me in the mirror, maybe I had become blind because the future was just to harsh for me to see.
"Thanks Lura" I said.