"Hey Frack...When we get to meet that girl?" Nick asked Brian.
"All in good time my brother" Brian said.
"Well it's been a month man!" Nick said laughing.
I could tell Brian was in some deep thought,Over what I wasn't sure.
"Okay then....She can come have dinner here tonight...will that make you all happy?" We all agreed at the same time.
YES!"
Brian laughed.
"Well let me call her okay?" Brian got up and left the room.
I went and sat near Nick. Eventually he got my point and wrapped his arms around me pulling me in closer. I looked up and smiled at him.
"God you two love birds are to much for me" AJ laughed at us.
"Hey!" I said shooting AJ a playful mean look.
"Man I'm gonna have to leave the room,the love in this room is blinding me,and even through my ray bans too!" AJ said.
He got up and left the room,Leaving Nick and I all alone.
"What you thinking about?" Nick asked me softly.
"About you and how I don't want this tour to ever end" Nick smiled.
"It won't and even if it does we will still be together " I stoped him before he could say anything else.
"Nick are you so sure will be together?" He seemed anoyed by me even asking.
"Ashley I'm sure but the question is are you sure?" The thought hit me hard.
I was pretty sure that I was sure,but of course no one can ever be really sure.
"Yeah I'm sure Nick"
"Alright good" He looked at me and smiled then leaned in for a kiss.
We were full pledged making out when AJ came in and interupted by clearing his throat. We both stopped and looked up.
"Oh hi" I muttered.
I took my hand wiping nicks saliva off my lips,Nick giggled.
"Man when you two gonna get a room?" AJ asked us.
"Never!" We both replied back.
He just shot us a weird glance. I could tell he wished that he had something like we did.
Maybe he too would meet someone special, Atleast we all hoped so.
"Where did that Brian go too?" I said out loud.
"Probabley in there talking to his mystery girl" Nick said laughing.
"Yeah,wonder who she is?" I asked.
"Hmm who knows,but I hope she was better then the last girl he was with." Nick stated.
I turned around and looked at him.
"What did she do?" Nick kinda hesiatated but soon continued.
"Well let's just put it this way, She seemed like the perfect girl,She was good to Brian for awhile,.then finally she would stop returning his calls she never came over,Then one day Brian went to go check up on her and he knocked at her door like a billon times so finally he took his key out and opened the door. To his surprise there she was in the bed with Brian's other best friend Chad ...God he was devastated he told her to leave and then threw Chad out buck naked also. Since that day he's never been the same Brian..Only when he was on stage that is" Nick's head looked downward.
"Gosh poor Brian" I said sadly.
"Yeah I know that's why I was hoping this might be a break through for him" Nick told me.
I was in such deep thought over who this girl was. A few weeks ago I had talked to my best friend Meghan over the internet, She had said she had met a guy...
"Nick where's your laptop?" I asked him almost interupting this moment we were having.
"In my bunk why?" He asked with a puzzled look.
"Well I need to talk to Meg my friend " I said hopping up and running to the bunks.
"My are you in a hurry ! " Nick said laughing.
I quickly took it out plugged in the phone line and dialed up.Finally I clicked on ICQ and started it up. It went online and she was on. I sighed in relief.
"Is that her?" Nick asked pointing to her screen name.
"Yup Angel baby yeah that's her" I said laughing to myself, Thinking about all the good times we have had. I quickly typed to her.
"Meg you there?" I asked.
"Yeah I'm on the phone but I can talk" She said.
"Cool who you talking to if you don't mind me asking"
"Umm a guy!" She said. She sounded a lil weirded out, Not wanting to tell me.
"Okay no name?" I asked impatiently.
"Yeah but I got to go for a second I'll brb" I was getting a lil weary of this lil game.
"So What's up with her?" Nick asked me.
I kinda got the feeling he got the feeling she was kinda edgy with me.
"Umm I'm not sure but I'll find out soon " I told him.
He came closer to me wrapping me in his arms. Really if you were looking at us,I was sitting in his lap and he had his arms around me,I of course was trying to balance the laptop too. Meghan finally came back after about 20 minutes. Of course those long mins were used up by mine and Nick making out for awhile.We stopped when we heard "Uh Oh!"
"I'm back " She said shortly.
"Gosh I thought you had died or something LOL" Of course I didn't find it funny. I just wished she would tell me what was up.
"I've got to go again soon I have to go to town with a friend" Meghan told me.
That was it she was really pissing me off now. I had waited well made out for 20 mins and she comes back to tell me she's leaving again, How nice of her.
"Okay fine I'll just go then....Bye"
With that I clicked off and shut off the laptop. I turned to Nick with a sour look.
"Baby you look like you just took a bite of a war head what's wrong?" He asked me.
"Nothing Meg's never cut me off like that...It's like she's hidding something" I said with a sigh.
"Well I'm sure she will tell you all in good time just wait" Nick said.
He took his hand carressing my face. I knew he was trying to make me forget it all.
About 2 hours later I woke up laying next to Nick in the bunk. He slowly leaned over kissing my lips.
"Hey you" He said sleeply.
"Hi" I said.
My eyes weren't even open but I knew it was him, Right as we were having this lovely moment,AJ comes and ruins it.
"Yo Nick you got to see this" He yelled pulling back the red cover in front of our bunk.
He was surprised to see me there also, I sure hoped he wasn't thinking what I thought he was thinking.
"What?" Nick asked staring at him in a lil anoyance.
"They were just saying on TRL that you have a girlfriend on tour with you they know about Ashley man" AJ said with a serious expression.
"Dang it how did they find that out?" Nick asked.
His voice seemed a tad bit angry.
He jumped out of the bed leaving me there all alone. I waited for about 30 minutes but by then I was wide awake. So I walked in what they called the living room of this tour bus. Nick was standing there with his cell phone up to his ear yelling and fussing someone out. I remember his exact words.
"Look Carson,How the hell did you know? I thought you and I were friends man...I don't want the press nagging me!" Nick yelled.
I just sat there staring at him.
"Well thanks alot" Nick said.
After a few more minutes of arguing he hung up the phone slamming it down on the chair.
"ARRGH!" He said almost screaming.
By then Lou and our parents had made there way into our bus. I decided maybe it would be for the best if I left, So I did. I returned about an hour later,Of course they were still at it, Lou was all up in Nick's face and Mrs Carter looked as if she were about to give him a knuckle sandwich.
"You know that this is suppose to be under the wraps who could have told the press?" Lou asked Nick.
"I don't know Lou damn it I wish I did!" He said.
He looked so upset, I felt as if I were the center of the blame here. I walked over to my mom, She looked at me and hugged me.
"Mom what did I do?" I asked her quietly.
"Hunny this is just a taste of what the business is like" She said.
Her face was set in a non expresionable look, I didn't know what to do or say to help Nick, After awhile I began to think over the last few weeks months about who I had talked to and Nick had talked to,Then it hit me,It was Johanna.
"It was Johanna" I screamed.
I had to make sure my voice was above everyone else's and it was. Everyone stopped there arguing and looked at me. They all had puzzled looks on there face. So I had to explain.
"She came to get Nick back...Nick refused her telling her he had someone else I'm sure she even knows my name" I said.
Nick stood there looking as if he were still drawling the conclusions.
"I think your right Ashley,Really I am" He came closer to me.
I let go of my mom and hugged him.
"I'm sorry I've given you sooo much trouble" I said laughing.
He smiled.
"It's already been worth it all"
Lou called everyone trying to get a hold of Johanna but couldn't seem to find her. So finally he called the euroupean MTV headcourters to see if they knew. They did and gave us all the information on finding her. Lou set out to find her while the rest of us got back to normal. Brian of course hadn't even come out when all the fighting had began he just stayed tucked away in his bunk.Since he hadn't come out in awhile I went to his bunk and opened the curtain. There he was talking on his cell phone.
"Brian can we talk?" I asked him.
"Yeah just a second" He said holding his hand over the reciever.
He finally hung up and looked at me.
"So what's up? You and Nick having problems again or what?" He asked smiling.
"Oh nothing like that ....do you mind if I sit here?" I asked looking down at his bed.
"Naw come on that way we can talk with more privacy" He shut the red curtain and looked back at me.
"Now tell me what's wrong" He said.
"Well I went online today to talk to my best friend Meghan but she was soooo distant with me, I know you two have been talking and your like really good friends, Tell me what's up with her lately?" I asked him.
He started to hesitate but then began to tell me.
"She's fine really...I think she's tierd didn't get enough rest last night is what I heard" I knew Brian was lieing to me I could tell it in his voice.
"Brian I know your lieing to me....Tell me the truth"
I couldn't handle it anymore, I had to know what Meghan was hidding from me.
"Ashley......Well....okay I'm gonna tell you,I'm seeing Meghan,She's coming to see me this weekend she's flying into london so she can be on tour with us" Brian finally said.
My eyes lit up
"Brian !! OH MY GOD! You two really?" I asked him jumping up of course I didn't realize we were still in the bunks so I hit my head really hard. I fell back laughing my ass off.
"Ash are you okay?" Brian asked me.
I bounced up giving him a great big hug, He huggged me back.
"Gosh I'm so glad that your glad cuz I thought you were gonna hate me " He said laughing.
"Of course not you two are perfect for each other,even if I was mad I still wouldn't want to ruin it for either of you" I told him.
He seemed really happy now, Nick came walking back looking for me.
"Ash where'd you go to?" He asked looking in all the bunks.
I hopped out of Brians. He looked at me surprised.
"What you doing in Brians bunk?" He asked me.
"I was talking to him about Meg,guess what?" I said. My eyes almost told it all.
"What?" Nick asked.
He sounded so not interested.
"Meg and Brian are together she's flying to London when were there this weekend and she's coming on tour!" I yelled.<[> Nick's eyes lit up almost exacley like mine.
"God that's so great! Frack congrats!" He yelled to Brian.
Brian came walking out of the bunk and hugged Nick.
"Thanks man! I'm so glad you two are happy for me" He said.
I wondered why he was so scared. Maybe it was of that relationship he had had before.
The next few weeks without Meghan,Nick or any of the guys was hell for me. I spent half my day crying until there were no more tears. Then driving over to the hospital to check on my dad. He was slowly getting better. They had moved him to where we could visit now. My mom seemed very distant. I'm not sure she knew how to talk to me about how things were.We often only talked about my father. She was so dedicated to him. I wondered how she was inside really deep down.I'm sure she had to be aching.The days went by no calls from Meg even months went by still I heard nothing from no one.It had been 4 months since I had seen Nick....more and more I wondered if he had gotten on with his life with someone else. I prayed that he hadn't ...I only wished that he were here with me. I went online to see if Meg or any of the guys were on.. Of course they weren't so I logged off. About an hour later I recieved a phone call.
"Hello?" I asked.
I had been crying so my voice wasn't in the best shape here.
"Ashley?" I heard a guys voice say.
I knew it was Nicks I could just tell it.
"Yeah it's me" I said sadly.
"It's me AJ" My heart crumbled once again.
The voice I had thought was Nick's was really AJ's none the less I was still pleased to have him call me.
"What's up?" I asked.
Trying to make it sound like everything was alright.
"Nothing I called to talk to you ask you how everything is?" He asked me.,p> "I'm okay I guess still haven't stopped crying....Everything's so wrong in my life AJ it's soo hard to explain." I tried to cry but all my tears were dry.
"Shhh Tell Bone all about it" AJ said.
I felt so good to be talking to someone that knew me.
"Well my dad's in bad shape I had to leave Nick which tore my soul out and I just feel all alone." I told him.
"I'm here for you girl,Nick's not been the same since you left either,he won't do hardly anything but sit around play on the N64 and cry, It's aweful" Aj said.
I felt just the same, But I knew a part of me wanted to make Nick stop hurting over me make him go on without me.
"AJ tell him I love him,I wish he would call me" I said.
I chooked up a little after saying this.
"I will...Hey my phone bills gonna be outragous....so I'll call you in about a week or so okay?" AJ said.
"Okay ...Tell everyone I love them" AJ agreed to tell them and hung up. Leaving me to my quiet solitude again.
I just sat there thinking about her. I wondered if she was okay. I missed her more than I could ever say. I saw AJ coming back from his bunk. "Hey man I just talked to Ashley...She told me to tell you she loves you and misses you" I tilted my head towards the ground. Hearing those words hurt me so much. I wanted her in my life. More then that I needed her.I got up and left the bus walking outside. I needed some air. All I could think about was her. It had been 4 long months but I still couldn't live without her. I loved her with every part of me. My heart and soul I just wasn't ready to give her up. Maybe I should call her sometime.....not now...maybe soon though.I had to deal with this deep pain. Just not now.