Forever Chapter Thirteen

"Nick what's up with us?" I asked coming behind him in the lobby. He turned around and looked at me. "What do you mean?" He asked. 'You know what I'm talking about don't act stupid Nick!" I said with a slight attitude. "Well seems to me that you wanted your space so I'm giving it to you" Nick remarked. "What do you mean my room?" I asked quizically. He gave me a strange look. "After we talked about sleeping with each other you got all distant I thought you wanted me to leave you alone so I am" Nick said this and then turned around. "Nick I didn't mean to really I've just been busy with all the shows and everything trying to hang with Meg" I explained. His face looked sad. "Nick how can I make it up to you?" I asked sweetly. "Spend every moment possible with me baby....I love you....I've missed you" Nick said. He gave me the puppy dog look which totally lured me in.I walked up closer to him looking him deep in the eyes. "I love you to nick with all my heart" I said. I took his hand placing it on my heart he took my hand and placed it on his. "Forever?" Nick asked me. "Yes forever and always " I said softly. He leaned down and kissed my lips making a shiver go down my spine.My lips tingled for minutes after that kiss."So all is forgiven?" I asked him. "Yes baby you know me I'm a softy when it comes to you" Nick said. He took my hand and we walked to his room he told me to stay out the door while he got something.I was so excited. He came out a few minutes later and put a blind fold on me. "Nick what's this for?" I asked giggling. "For added suspense baby" He said kissing me.He walked me out near the street I could tell and then we got in a cab and drove for awhile. He didn't once say anything.We finally got out and I heard him talking to some man about letting him in the park. Finally I heard a gate open and I was lead in.This was so romantic. Finally he sat me down and took the blind fold off. We were in the middle of a park in London. I looked over at him and smiled.He smiled back kissing me quickly on the lips. "It's beautiful Nick" I said softly. "No not as nearly as beautiful as you Ashley...your more precious then the tiniest star up in the skys tonight" Nick said pointing up to the stars.I looked up laying back and staring at the stars. Nick just sat there staring down at me. And finally hovered closely over me.Staring deeply into my eyes. I did the same it was hard not to his eyes just penatrated your soul. It was awesome. He leaned down kissing me slowly at first then he got a little faster and more passionate.He looked down at me as if it was an okay to keep going.I showed him with my eyes that it was alright. He kissed down my neck slowly and softly sometimes even stopping to suck on a lil bit of skin.I moaned a little and then smiled. As soon as I had realised it we were naked together under the stars making love to each other. I'd always thought I would save this moment but I knew it I did ...That he and I were meant to be it hadn't been by accident him coming to me and now I knew I wouldn't let him go for the world I loved him with every bit of my soul.After we had reached our goals he kissed me once more and laid his sweaty body next to mine holding me ever so close.I fell asleep not having a care in the world as if what could happen tomorow.We woke up the next morning not realizing the park would be opening in a few minutes nick and I ran with the blanket wrapped around us both to the bathrooms and got changed into our clothes.I came walking out at the same time as Nick did and our eyes met. I think this was surely something we both didn't think we could have done.We walked back to the hotel in silence but our hands were locked and we walked very close I couldn't remember being more happy in my life. With him in my life.Little did I know that my lives were about to take a halting stop and things were going to be so diffrent so soon. We walked to the elevator and when we got in Nick looked over at me.He came closer holding me in his arms and kissing me once more. "This was right right?? Not to crazy?" I asked Nick. He smiled."What are you having regrets?" He asked with a hurt expresion. "No no it was right Nick...I know it was I was just making sure you feel the same" I said brushing my hand across his cheek. "I love you Ashley...I'll never hurt you I promise you baby" Nick said.I felt my heart inside burning like it was on fire. I looked up at him. "I love you to Nick" I said softly.Nick just held me until the elevator stopped and we hopped off going our seprate ways. "Hey I'll come by your room in about an hour okay?" Nick said waving goodbye to me. I just leaned up against the wall letting out a "I'm in love" sigh. Dropping slowly to the floor. Just as I had closed my eyes to start dreaming my mom came walking up to me I saw tears in her eyes. Immediatly I freaked. "What's wrong?" I asked her. She hesitated but then told me."Hunny your father...well he's had a heart attack we have to go home and leave the tour" My whole world stopped and I began to feel dizzy. Thinking of what that meant made me want to die. "What" I said breathlessly. I couldn't think my whole life was just a mess now. "We have to go home tonight...he needs us" My mother said crying once again. I turned and walked away. "No this ..Not now mom no!" I walked to my room and plopped on my bed not crying just staring at the tv that I had turned on. Just by chance MTV was on and they were showing Nick. I couldn't help but think what would happen of us now after this.Afew minutes later there was a knock at the door I knew either it was my mom or Nick and I just couldn't fall apart like this in front of them.I went and opened the door and then ploped back on the bed with the same empty expression on my face. It was Nick."Hey are you alright?" he asked. I bursted into tears.I couldn't hold it back I had to tell him it just wouldn't be fair to him. "Baby whats wrong?" I asked wrapping my arms around her. "My mom came by ....Nick I have to leave" I said through my childish cries. Nicks face turned to a confussed expression. "WHAT?" he asked.His voice sounded angry so I got afraid. "Yes....My dad he.....He's in the hospital he had a heart attack but he's alive ...we have to go home to take care of him" I said burrying my head in his strong chest.. "Will I ever see you again?" He asked me. The words hit me like a ton of bricks. Then the tears came from his eyes too. "I don't know Nick...we leave tomorow" The words made me hurt so much inside the man I loved I had to leave...maybe for forever. "I ...I don't know what to say Ashley..I mean how can I forget about this night?" he asked me. I cried even more.This night yes this night. Was the most magical one I've ever had.But I couldn't handle hurting him more. "You can't I'll go it's going to be harder in the long run if we sit and morn over it" I got up from his arms and walked out the door and headed somewhere where I could just be alone away from it all.An hour later I came back to my room and Nick was gone it was just me and my room all alone no one there to comfort me. "Going home???" I thought to myself. "Something has to be wrong" I told myself trying to convince myself to believe that everything was going to be alright.But it wasn't everything was just flying by me. "Have you seen the front page of this newspaper Nick!" Kevin said screaming at me and showing me the picture of Ashley and I's escapades last night. I flipped how did they get that! "Kev" I tried to explain but he wouldn't even give me room too. "Look you and Ashley even if she is on tour cannot do this anymore it's just going to ruin us Nick!!" Kevin said screaming at me once again. "You really don't expect me to walk away from her like that" I asked him. I was already upset this had just topped it off for me. "Yes I do.....Just turn around and pretend she was never there I do it alot." Kevin said casually. Tears filled my eyes. "My God kevin I made love to her I love her you just can't make me forget about it all." I said turning towards the door.I had to see Ashley."Just forget her Nick we leave in the morning." I turned away and ran down the hall of the hotel to the room she was staying at. When I got to her door he paused. "Nick please don't leave me tomorow I love you so much I can't stand the thought of losing you" His mind was trailing back to late last night when they had made love under the stars.I knocked. "Yes" God her voice was like an angels."It's me Nick" I said. She came to the door right away flinging it open and kissing me. I felt a rush of emotion hit me. "What's wrong?" Ashley asked me. "Were leaving tomorow and I came to say goodbye this just might well be for forver." My eyes wanted to cry but I didn't want to show weakness to her."Oh God I ....I dunno what to say Nick" Ashleys sweet eyes that were once happy last night had now feeled with clear watery tears.I took my hand a brushed them from her cheek."Please don't forget me Ashley .....Everyone wants me to forget you but I just can't it's impossible." She held on tighter to me."I won't believe me if it's the last thing I do I will get back to you somehow some day Nick" I didn't want to go but I had to I never wanted to let go but my very demanding job told me I had to. "Goodbye Ashley I love you so very much" She cried even more even to the point where she was almost wailing. My heart was breaking I could feel it. "Good bye Nick I love you too .....Don't forget my promise" I softly nuzzled her neck with my nose. "I won't I promise I won't" I let her go slowly kissing her more passionate then ever. She finally let go of my lips her tears rolling softly down her face.I walked slowly to the door opening it and taking one last look that would might as well have to last me for forever because that's how long I was willing to wait. **PRESENT ALSO**

That night had been hell without Ashley I thought over why I had cheated on her in the first place. Maybe it was because I was so lonely and I longed for her so much her best friend was the only thing I could see that reminded me of her. But then again maybe it was because I was willing to let go now.I sat and paced AJ's floor and Meghan came back inside staring at me. I took my glance away from her.She came closer to me to hug me but I walked away from her. "No Meghan I can't" I said. I walked back to the downstairs part of AJ's house and sat on his bed thinking for about an hour until AJ came bounding down the steps. "Man I dunno what to do" I muttered to him. "You should have thought about that one Nick it's to late for the what if 's man she loves you...I know it and so do you" AJ said pointing his finger right at me while saying this. "I know I know what was I thinking Bone?" I asked him. I was soo confused. "Your asking me that?" He said. "No should I tell her how I feel ...this may be my last chance Bone ...I love her I know I do ..Meghan was just a fling ....I've ruined it maybe by now" I said holding my hand over my face. "Go to her then man ...if it's meant to be nothing in the world will keep you to apart" AJ said helping me get off of his bed.I got my coat and walked to my jeep hopping in my car and driving off. I was half way there when fear struck me. "nick your such an idiot she wouldn't want you back in a million years" I tried to ignore these thoughts but they got stronger every second. I finally was there and now there was no turning back. I walked to her door and knocked.I didn't hear anyone coming and then I did. She opened the door and saw me and then slammed it again. "Ashley baby please talk to me" I begged. "Go to hell Nick I'd rather die then talk to you...another thing I'm not your baby frankly I don't know if I ever was" Ashley said. It cut a hole in me. "I'm sorry really I realised that your the only one for me Meghan she was a mistake I only kissed her because I was wishing it was you...but it wasn't" I explained to her. "Save it Nick" I heard her say and then I heard her foot steps go father away. "I'll stay here all night Ashley even to the next day anything!" I yelled inside at her. She ignored me and so there I stayed. It got darker and I slept out there on the porch. When I woke up the next morning I saw a blanket over me and a pillow under my head. Maybe she really did care.I sat up rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Her car was gone. I sighed. I laid back down sleeping some more. Until she came back home that night. "Ashley please!" I pleaded with her grabbing her arm. She just looked the other way. "Come on in I'm not talking to you though" She said. I walked in her living room and sat down. What was I to do now that I was in ? I sat and thought for a few minutes and then spoke. "Ash talk to me please" I said with a sincear voice. She just dropped what she was doing and looked me dead straight in the eyes. "Nick were not back on tour anymore and I just can't come running back everytime this happens I would have well I did think I could trust you I mean look what you did to Brian,but most of all look what you did to me!" She told me. She turned around and I could here her crying. "I'm sorry" Was all I could manage to say. "Your just sorry you got caught Nick that's all" She said smartly. I knew it was somewhat true but I still knew I needed her. "Fine Ash if you want me gone just tell me. If you don't ever want me back in your life again and you don't want to fool with us going back and forth with each other then just tell me the truth tell me what you want me to do and I will do it" I said throwing my hands up in the air and staring at her. She didn't speak just looked back at me. "Nick how do you expect me to forgive you??" She asked me. I thought about it. How could she forgive me after cheating with her bestfriend. "I think we should just see other people for awhile okay then if it's meant to be the fine will be together....Right now I'd rather die then be with you after the hell you have put me through" She turned and walked away from me. "I understand then ...I'll go now ...I just want you to know I'm sorry and I really do love you Ashley I always promised never to hurt you and I did I know that but this time I'm serious about us dead serious" I told her. I took my coat and walked out the door taking one last look at her. **PRESENT**

After Nick had left I just sat on the couch in tears. Everything was so confusing I wasn't sure what to do about it now. What was done was done we can't go back now. The phone rang a few minutes later. I picked it up sniffling another tear. "What?" I asked. "Are you okay?" AJ asked. "Yeah I guess I'll live maybe" I said sadly. "No you know you won't what happened?" AJ asked. "Well I told Nick I would be happier if we saw diffrent people and he didn't want to agree but he did. ....AJ my hearts been torn into" I said gripping my hand tightly to the phone. "Awe Ashley baby calm down .....you didn't even try to talk about it?" He asked. "What's there to talk about?" I asked. "Alot angel alot....hey I have to go but hey you wanna go out tonight and do something?? There's no sense in you just sitting around being depressed come with da bone he'll get cha in da mood" AJ said laughing. I accually felt a smile spread across my face. "Okay sure whatever" I said. "Great I'll be by about 7:00 alright?" AJ said. "Sure" We hung up and I went back to wanting nick back mode.

Chapter Fourteen

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