Somethings Are Meant To Be Chapter Ten
"We are here today to mourn the dear passing of are fellow brother,friend and son I know that even today is hard for some of you to let go but God says the best things in life aren't always with us. So that is why today I ask you to make the best of every moment you have with a loved one because no one knows when there last day on earth is to come" The minster told us from the pulpit in front of AJ's casket. I had visited with AJ's body earlier I just stared at it wanting to make him breathe praying he would breathe I knew
he could do it, there was just no way he was dead. Tons of fans were right now outside of the large church outside the gates with candles flowers signs waiting to cheer his casket on.they had morned almost as worst as we had but no one could feel just like the guys or his family did today. Nick stood up preparing to talk about AJ. "Well God how do you sum up a guys life like his was...I met AJ when I was young we were both into acting/singing him and Howie man I love you guys" Nick stopped mid sentance letting out a lil cry and holding it all back in. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry but look at me..AJ was a great funny guy he was always there for me he was just great and I loved him he was a backstreetboy and I don't know how our band is gonna move on without him" Nick finished walking down from the pulpit and going back to sit with his family."You don't know how much I'm gonna miss you man your the rock of this group" Brian lastly said he too was crying and had to finish. After the guys had finished everyone inside the large church was crying loudly and sniffling. I had become numb to all this realizing I had done this I was the one who had prevoked it. When they went to pick AJ's casket up I felt shameless tears drip down my tear stained cheeks I quickly took my hand wiping them away. When we made it outside as AJ's casket was drived by fans cheered and clapped watching on as he was being taken to his final place. I cried not only because I knew I was going to miss AJ but because I knew the fans and his family were going to miss him maybe even more then I was. I watched the fans slowly dissappear and I hide my face in Nicks chest crying my eyes out. We made it to his grave site 15 minutes later and we all made it out of the limo we were being carried in. "Ash are you gonna be okay?" Nick asked as we made our way to where AJ was to be burried. "Yes just you know funerals are sad like this and and I'm gonna miss him Nick" I said breaking down in tears again. He held me as we walked closer. They had planed to have just a big spot for AJ's grave even a big burial tomb made with his face itched into it. It was so hard seeing AJ's casket just laying there I could have never imagined three years ago that I would be here right now and AJ dead. "Ashes to ashes dust to dust" The minister spoke as he threw dirt upon AJ's neatly polished grave. They all handed us long stemmed red roses. The guys were the first in line they all tried to make there goodbyes quick but man this was forever how could you say goodbye in less the a few seconds? When Jen had made it up to the casket she couldn't hold herself together. She plunged forward wailing and holding the casket crying. "AJ come back please I need you, I love you" She cried. Nick ran up closer helping her off the casket she only clawed him wanting to go back to AJ's deathly body. I walked up laying the rose carefully on the silver plated casket. I got down on my knees just to say goodbye one last time. "AJ I'm so sorry the last words I said to you weren't what I wished they could have been I love you I want you to know that I will miss you" I breathed out in a whisper to him. I felt one last tear spill over my eyes and land on the silver casket making a wet mark visable. Before I knew it we were on our way home and Jen was still histerically crying but who could blame her she had just lost the love of her life. "Ashley he forgave you" Jen told me in the seat across from me. I looked up looking her in the eye. "No he might have but I myself will never forgive myself for doing this to him and you" I said. With that everyone was silent and we all made our seprate ways home. I had decided maybe it would be better if I let Nick go home too and let me spend some time alone to think so Nick went to his home and I to mine. Jen had decided to stay with her parent's for a few days atleast until her hard mourning was over.
To Chapter 11
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