METAL SLUDGE is metals most controversial website. As Jani Bon Neil (a METAL SLUDGE writer) put it - Politically Incorrect News & Views. That's is what we do. So be prepared for just that. We say things that others haven't dared to say. Some of it is funny, some of it isn't. and If you love us, great. If you hate us, great. But either way, you won't be bored. He couldn't have said it better. Being a parody of Metal Edge magazine is a pretty big job, but these people have done it surprisingly well. Take one look at their website and some of their articles and if you're not too angry over your favorite bands being dissed, you'll laugh your butt off. Here with me is METAL SLUDGE writer Ozzy Stillbourne. Known for his witty comments, bold statements, and.... well.... you'll see. Read on to find out more.... (my questions are in red. Ozzys answers are in yellow).

Jani Bon Neil = Talent relations. You sure as hell wouldn't want me being in charge of that! He's the "figurehead" so to speak, even though we all have an equal say.

BBF = Answers mail, updates the page, puts the links and all that sh*t up. Kind of the webmaster, along with Jani. Drives an ice cream truck and hangs out on the playground during his off time.

Donna = The eye candy. Talks about dicks, what else can I say?

Lita Love = The chick that gets us our Sludge Scans and crap

Taime Slaughter = Lazier than me. I have no idea what he does.

CC Van Sixx = good writer when he f**king wants to write something. There are some other freelancers, but that's the core group.

2.)To date, METAL SLUDGE has done 109 interviews (that have been posted, anyway). In your opinion, who did the lamest 20 questions, and who did the best?

The lamest 20 Questions would easily go to Eddie Ojeda. And that Donna F chick was pretty lame too.

3.)In late 2000, METAL SLUDGE tried to help Rikki Rockett get on 'Sex and the City' - Any new updates with that?

I have no f**king clue. Talk to Jani Bon Neil about that. He keeps track of all that sort of sh*t.But as far as I know, nothing ever came of it.

4.)OZZYS BIG PREDICTION FOR 2001: Which is more likely to happen first?:

A.)Sebastian Bach does a 20 questions interview

B.)A CD goes platinum with Sebastians name on it

C.)Sebastian applies for a job at Burger King

D.)Sebastian becomes one of POISONs food gophers ('Yes sir, Mr. Rockett -Would you like pickles on your veggieburger?!')

I would have to say: E: Sebitchian gets another BAFBA for doing something stupid. That's much easier to predict.

5.)On a more serious note (if thats possible), what originally started the conflict between METAL SLUDGE and Sebastian Bach?

Well, you can blame it all on a Sludgeaholic named EVIL. At one time, Mr. Bach was a fan of our site. In fact he was the first "rock star" who ever emailed us, and he did so about 2 days after the page was up. Around November of 98, we got an email from EVIL saying that he saw Sebitchian in Toronto arriving at a Kiss show in a broken down piece of sh*t limo. And then when EVIL was driving home, he saw the limo broken down on the side of the road and Sebitchian walking along the highway. That was it. Big deal, right? Maybe it was true, maybe not, but it was nothing that bad. Well the Bitch can't take any sort of negative publicity, so he sent us an email totally going off on EVIL. After that, Sebitchian never responded to any of our emails again. I remenber Sebitchian fans actually saying they loved our page because we would NEVER rip on the bitch, and back then we didn't. We had no reason too. Then when he put out his solo CD, he started saying a bunch of really stupid sh*t. Over time, we started hearing various stories about him and none of them were good. It all slowly built up from there.

6.)What's the most laughable piece of news you've heard from the music biz so far?

When I heard that Gerri Miller left Metal Edge, I laughed quite a bit. Also seeing Eric Singer is Peter's makeup was a good laugh. And of course when I read that Blando said he didn't do 20 Questions with us, now that was funny! We even emailed him and that Nash guy and neither one of them responded to us. If Blando really never did 20 Questions, then one of them should have contacted us and let us know. But they didn't because he obviously did it. Besides the fact that the f**king questions came from his email address. I love when we bust people!

7.)On average, how much hate-mail does METAL SLUDGE get per month?

You'd have to ask Floyd that because I only get sh*t sent to my account. I don't get much unless I've just posted something really brutal. But usually people are too stupid to send it to me, so they send it to the metalsludge@metal-sludge.com But Floyd generally forwards them to me.

8.)Who's on your 'wish list' of people to interview?

Katie would have to be up there. I would like to interview Phil Anselmo, Gene Simmons, Lars Ulrich, and Ozzy, though Sharon would have to answer his questions.

9.)A magazine I read (MAXIM) has a very similar editorial style to METAL SLUDGE. The big difference is mainly content. Got anything to say about that?

The big difference is they get paid a hell of a lot more than we do! Plus they get to take all sort of pictures of hot chicks. Yet again, we have plenty of hot Sludgettes, so f**k Maxim and their hot chicks. Unless they want to interview me, then they can contact Ozzy@metal-sludge.com

10.)Why doesn't METAL SLUDGE reveal their identities - are you all *that* bad looking?

Well Katie, that's an interesting question. Thank you for asking. But before I answer that, let me just compliment you on the fine work you do on our website. I'd also like to say that Metal Sludge appreciates your support. I don't do many interviews, but when I read your email, I was taken back by your honest and heartfelt approach. Thanks!

11.)What are your thoughts on the KISS Farewell Tour(S)? What's the deal - do they have the same promoter as THE WHO? When will the agony ever stop.....

From what I just f**king heard, the horror won't stop, but I'm hoping what I hear is a joke. For some reason I can never see Gene & Paul giving it up.

12.)I heard through the grapevine that Bastard Boy Floyd was actually born with a tail. Is this true? - could he be the missing link??, or was this a genetic experiment gone bad - real bad?

The Missing Link was a wrestler back in the mid-80s, so I doubt he's Floyd. You shouldn't really gossip about people, Katie. That's not nice. I really don't see what you are talking about. Floyd looks fine to me and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you being a rumor monger.

13.)Who do you think will win Sludgevivor 2?

If I was going to put money on it I would have to say Snake Sabo. He survived playing with Sebitchian for about 10 years, then he can survive anything.

14.)Denise Korycki (Producer of the VH-1 Rock Show) marked the funniest quote of 2000 as Boy George saying 'EMINEMs probably desperate for a cock up his a$$, and I'm just the man to do it'. What do you think of the controversy surrounding EMINEM at this point?

You mean Slim Anus? I don't see what the fuss is all about. 10 years ago it was 2 Live Crew and NWA, now it's Eminem. 10 years from now it'll be a rapper named Starbursts or Skittles. Whatever.

15.)If you could tell my website readers and Sludgeaholics alike, 1 thing that they didn't already know about METAL SLUDGE, what would it be?

I'm really Sebastian Bach!

There ya have it! Thanks a lot Ozzy and heres to METAL SLUDGE forever!! *cue appopriate evil laugh*

For general interest: I am not a Sebastian Bach hater or anything like that, I just like a good laugh and if I get it from him, than so be it... if not, that means I'm laughing at another band. Just thought I'd clear that up before I get hate mail...

For those of you wondering why I've censored the swear words - I'm using a free website provider, so in order for me to continue adding this extra joy into your life, I need to keep it fairly clean.

Main Page
METAL SLUDGE
OZZY STILLBOURNES PAGE!
Metal Edge Magazine Online