The Arrival
August 2nd - Arrival
So Lucy drops us off, we bring in what little baggage we have. Sit down, look around. Then it hits me
What the fuck am I doing? I am part of the ghetto. The place my mom always warned me about. The place
where I was once afraid to go. And now, someone's mother is going to tell their child to stay away from me
because I am now part of that same ghetto.
So we start unpacking. The "closet", which is actually a big box made out of paneling with a bar for your
hangers, isn't so bad. It's old, heavy, and ugly as shit, but it seems to do the job. The refrigerator is full
size, and wow, there is a frying pan, and some arby's mayonaise in it. Bonus! There are no shelves, so the top of
the fridge is now the makeshift pantry.
So I decide to check out the bed.
I sit on it, and the center sinks in. Lovely. The ghetto whorehouse bed. So we unpack, smoke a cigarette, and decide
to go to the ghetto grocery store to buy our ghetto dinner since all we have are noodles, rice, and crackers.
August 2nd 10:02 pm
Our first ghetto meal.
A Totino's combination pizza and 25 cent a can Faygo. (fruit punch)
10:06 pm
Sitting down to enjoy our ghetto pizza, on the ghetto coffe table, the ghetto cigarette
was almost ruined by our choice ghetto beverage. Faygo
10:17 pm
Our first ghetto meal is over. We have no camera to capture our wonderful
memories, so we decide to make some memorabilia to remember our first ghetto meal.
10:26 pm
I am now leaving the room to go take my first ghetto piss in the public restroom.
10:27 pm
Such an exhilerating experience. The door has no lock, the sink has only cold water,
and I could not locate the light switch.
10:40 pm
After my wonderful bathroom experience, I decided to entertain myself with some duct tape.
A little artwork.
to show my enthusiasm of living in the ghetto. Beautiful.
11:01 pm
First encounter with our ghetto neighbor. Thumper decides his bladder is full, so he goes to relieve himslelf
To his surprise, he finds an older black man, who has been pacing the hallway for a good fifteen minutes
He appears to have a nervous condition, either that, or a crack problem.
11:30 pm
Trying to reposition our wall decorations, we realize that there are only certain parts of the wall
that you can put a tac through
11:32 pm
We are now experiencing ghetto boredom
11:33 pm
We have now decided to walk outside. But not before i save my open can of faygo, as that is the ghetto way.
11:34 pm
We are now walking down the urine stenched hallway
Ah. Clean air
11:35 pm
While on our journey to find mason at town square, Thumper almost trips over a roach.
11:37 pm
Our mission to find Mason at the bar has failed. We are now going back to our ghetto fabulous pad.
And the alleyway is infested with roaches.
11:40 pm
Bombarded
As we walk up the stairs, to our enjoyment we see a lovely crowd of people known as the other residents of Ghettoville.
11:53 pm
Where the fuck do I begin? Just met some neighbors. Lovely bunch of people. Found out the cook at my favorite
bar lives across the hall (same guy who was pacing the halls earlier) Turns out he's not on crack, but on coke.
That's fucking wonderful. Now i'm afraid to eat there again. Having 4 people at the same time talking to you is a
little difficult as well. The coke guy talking about roaches and bathrooms, his wife (who seemed to be fucked up)
was trying to buy one of my colored light bulbs. Another neighbor talking about toilet paper and shampoo, and her boyfriend, who was drunk, and hitting on me. Such a lovely social gathering. People are willing to tell you their dirty little secrets. I just love living in the ghetto. It's fucking fabulous.
12:54 am, August 3rd
An even more pleasent visit from "nervous ned" as I will call him. He and his wife stop by with a glass of beer and a pinner. So we being gracious hosts, and wishing we had something else to "entertain" ourselves with, invite our newfound friends in. The wife (have no idea what her name is) is mumbling some shit about lightbulbs and lifeguards. I could understand about every 3-4 words that she was saying, so I decided to focus my attention on "ned". He too was mumbling some shit about lifeguards and cellphones. All the while I am nodding my head while getting a couple of "what the fuck?" and "ok...." looks from Thumper. The wife then remembers that she has some liquor in her room. So they scurry off in a hurry, but not before giving us full usage of his microwave.
Yea...............
1:00 am
Thumper is now eating jalepeno cheese nips, and talking some nonsense about "If I eat something now, I won't get hungry later." Really? Wish I would have thought of that.
1:10 am - Bed Time
A wonderful first day of my new ghetto life is coming to an end. Lot's of fun and adventures await me, there is no doubt about that. And I forgot what I was going to write, and can't remember it worth a shit. The jalepeno escapade clouded my thoughts, and the one I needed slipped out.
Till Then.....
1 minute after bedtime
I slip comfortably into bed, as I go to gracefully lay my head on the pillow, to my surprise, my jaw gets pummled by a neighborly fist that happens to be attached to "Thumper the wonder rabbit"
The perfect ending to the perfect day.
About 10 minutes later.....
Thumper slammed his wrist into the wall while trying to defend himself from being tickled, and now,
his fingers are numb.
Day 3
