I was eating a bowl of cereal at 3:00 AM at my kitchen table. Caty walked into the room.
“Why are you still up?” she asked me.
“’Cuz I’m not tired.”
“Well why in the hell aren’t you tired?”
“’Cuz I’m not.”
“I think you have insomnia.”
“Go away.”
“Honey, I care about you. I’m only telling you this for your own good.”
“Look. If I do have problems in, um..................that way, I don’t want to know about it.”
“What way?”
“You know! The way that the problem is.”
“You mean sleeping problems?”
“Uh, you could put it that way........”
“What the hell?”
“God! Must I spell everything out for you!? I don’t want to know about it if I have problems of a sexual orientation!”
She looked at me strangely. “Uh, insomnia is a disorder that causes you to not be able to sleep. It’s not a sexual thing.”
“Oh. Well, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I think we should look into getting some reading material on G-spots.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “You mean you think we need it!?”
“No, no, Sweetie, that’s not what I meant! It’s just that G-spot orgasms are supposed to be better than regular no matter how good your regular sex is! So, if we used G-spots, the fabulous sex that we already have would just become better!”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, and, you know what else I think might be worth looking into?”
“What?”
“Birthcontrol pills.”
“No, Zac.”
“Why not?”
“Diseases.”
“I don’t have any diseases.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Have you been tested?”
“No, but I think I would notice if I was diseased!”
“Zac, I know you’ve been with girls other than myself, and some of them may have had something.”
I walked over behind her and put my arms around her waist. “I’ve never had unprotected sex before.”
“You swear?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. We can see about it when we go to the clinic for G-spot pamphlets. But I still want us to be tested for stuff. Both of us, even though I’ve never been with anyone else.”
“Why both of us then?”
“Just to make you feel better about it.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“Come on, having really good sex puts anyone to sleep. Even insomniacs.”
“Okay.”
“Hi. Brandon?” My father guessed.
“Yeah, it’s me. Why haven’t I seen you in so long?”
“I’ve been in Singapore.”
“Oh. Well, why did you call?”
“It’s your birthday. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and ask if you’ve looked out the window recently.”
“No.”
“Well look!”
“Okay. Hold on.”
I walked to the window and looked out. I picked the phone back up. “What?”
“Wrong window, Genius! Look out the front door windows.”
“Okay. Hold on.”
“No! Hang up.”
I set the phone down. I walked down the stairs and through the room, to the front door. I looked out. My dad was standing there, putting his cell phone away.
“Dad!” I yelled, running over to him. “You’re here!”
We hugged, and then he said, “Yeah. I am. Where are your brother and your sisters?”
“Demona, Sydney, Violence, Gemini, Mirage, and Carmine are inside doing some crap, Tara, Topanga, Ice, Alexis, Franchesca, Genesis, Gwenevere, Jacinda, Jessymne, Justine, Malory, Myst, Seven, and Journey are out doing some crap, and Caleb’s fucking his girlfriend in their room.”
“Oh, well, let’s go see the girls that are here.”
“Okay.”
(Author’s Note: Forgot to mention: this family is made entirely of multiple births. No singulars. Caleb has a twin named Robert, but he’s in college. There’s a list of the names and ages here if you want to check it out.)
“Mom! Can I have some money?” I asked my mother.
“Why?”
“I need bus fare!”
“Where are you going?”
“France,” I said sarcastically.
“Oh, okay. Bring me some designer perfume.”
“Okay.”
“Here you go.” She handed me a hundred dollar bill.
I walked out of the house, looking at the contents my hand. I shrugged and pocketed it. I pulled some change out and selected a quarter and a nickel. I put the rest back in my pocket.
Soon I was at the bus stop. I waited. Soon a bus came. I climbed on and handed the man my thirty cents.
Soon I arrived at the stop two blocks from the hospital. I stepped off the bus and started walking towards the hospital as I had about once a week ever since the shooting, six months ago. At first I had went every day and stayed for hours, then I had stayed for less and less time, until I stayed for about thirty miniutes a day. Then I had started to come less and less, until finally I came for thirty minutes every Sunday.
“So, what did you get us this year?” I asked my dad.
“Ron’s driving them over later.”
“Oh. Are they, golden looking and furry?”
“No, Silly. That’s what what I got you two when you were twelve!”
“Oh yeah!” I exclaimed, petting Cheeky.
Brandon called, “Camel! Here boy!”
Camel came bounding into the room and licked Brandon’s face. He laughed and began to pet him and cooed baby talk.
I was sitting next to Dana and looking at her face when something happened that I had not expected to happen. Well, I guess I had thought it might happen eventually, but I hadn’t thought it would happen that second.
Chapter Fifteen
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