I stared down at the piece of paper in my hand. “Honey? Can you tell me what happened in there?” Caty requested.
It was about seven months since we had talked about getting birthcontrol pills. We had both just gotten tested for HIV, Chlamydia, hepatitis B, and syphilis.
“Nothing. I’m negative for everything,” I assured her quickly. “What about you?”
“Same here.” She gave me a quick kiss. “Now, let’s go see about a prescription for some birthcontrol pills.”
“You have to be fifteen or have someone you is sign for you.”
“Oh. Well, you could get Tay to sign. He just turned fifteen.”
“Yeah, I could. But he’s in grief over his lay.”
“Oh, yeah. Well what about Isaac?”
“He’s also in grief. She was his lay too.”
“Kids, could you all come here for a moment?” my mom requested. I shrugged and walked into the kitchen to take a seat.
Soon, everyone was assembled but Tay, who was at the hospital with that thing of his, and Zac. Mom requested, “Walker, could you call Zac and tell him to came in here?”
“Okay, sure,” he answered, before yelling, “Zac! Get down here!”
“Walker, he’s not here! He doesn’t even live here!”
“He doesn’t? How long has this been going on?”
“About seven months now.”
“Oh. Well, it’s not as if he’s an only child or anything, you can’t exactly expect me to notice one of them’s missing.”
“Oh, well call him and tell him to come over here.”
“Which friend is he staying with?”
“Why that nice girl, Cate.”
“Cate! But, she’s a girl! And Zac’s girl at that!”
“Uh, I think that’s why he’s staying with her......I doubt he would if she was someone else’s girl.”
“Oh. Well, no more, you tell him to come home this instant!”
“No, you tell him to come home this instant!”
“No, you tell him to come home this instant!”
“No, you tell him to come home this instant!”
“I dare you to tell him to come home this instant!”
“Well, I double dare you!”
“I triple dare you!”
“I quadruple dare you!”
“Oh yeah, well I invoke the dreaded Double Triple Beaver Bushwhack Infinity End of the World Thing!”
“That’s not fair! No one said you were allowed using stuff you saw that on Angry Beavers!”
“You know,” I butted in, “You guys sound less mature than Mac.”
“Yeah!” Mac piped up, “And I’m four!”
Dad rolled his eyes and Mom stuck her tongue out at him.
I shook the can of bright green spray paint in my hand, and then started to spray paint. I had just bought seven pairs of Docs, and they were all generic brown. I needed them in cool colours. So I had bought some spray paint at Drug Mart and gotten Brandon and Sam to help me spray paint them different colours. We had already wrapped the soles in medical tape, removed the laces, and stuffed the boots with cotton balls. Now all that remained was the actual spraying of the paint, and, once they were dry, removing the medical tape and cotton balls, and lacing them up.
I was done with that pair soon, and grabbed a new one and put the already used spray paint in the plastic bag, removing an unopened can of silver from the pile on the grass, and started spritzing the new pair.
I finished that one up, and spray painted another pair neon blue. I grabbed another pair, and reached for another can of spray paint. There wasn’t one.
Figuring I had a little more than half of the boots, and there was a can of spray paint missing, I looked up at Sam and Brandon, to see what was going on.
There were three pairs of spray painted boots neatly lined up next to Sam, but Brandon didn’t have any boots finished. His mouth/nose area was neon yellow.
“Brandon! You were supposed to wait until we were done with the boots! We told you that!”
“Uh, damn?”
“Yeah!” I ran at him and delivered a swift blow to his balls (with my foot).
“Sydney, you really need to work on this anger thing,” Sam suggested. “You’re almost as bad as Brandon!”
I grabbed the spray paint from him and began to spray the last pair of boots, still pissed at Brandon.
He was cowering in fear, holding his balls.
“Brandon, do you know how much that looks like you’re feeling your self up?” Sam asked.
He glared at her and continued holding himself.
“Well, back to what this family meeting was called for,” Mom spoke up, finally gaining a little on our resident four year old.
“Yes, what the meeting was called for,” Dad put it, looking like a Dick Clark wannabe.
“Yes, what the meeting was called for,” Mom repeated, then added on, “is that I’m pregnant.”
Everyone gasped. “What? You shouldn’t be surprised anymore by now!”
“But, you just had Zoe, what, yesterday?” I spoke up.
“No, Isaac, a few months ago,” she said, not seeming to get it.
“You stay in your place!” Dad instructed me.
“Yes, Sir,” I muttered, not able to believe they had actually done it with Zoe in the room. Wait a minute, Zoe had got born when.....Ewww, they did it with Mac in the room too! Do they have no respect for their children’s sanity?
About an hour after I brought Nick home, I sat him down on the couch and started talking to him.
"You know, your very handsome, but that doesn't surprise me," I cooed. "No it doesn't, it doesn't at all, no no no!"
Nick gurgled.
"You know Nick, if you don't break that habit, you're never gonna get any chicks!" I stopped, and arched my neck, checking all the doors of the room.
"Hey Nick, can you say 'do it'?"
Well, if they’re gonna to do it in front of Zoe, they’re gonna to do it in front Zoe, I decided a few hours later, after being all repulsed for a long time. I might as well throw Mom a baby shower.
So I went downstairs to make a cake and found Tay talking to his kid about doing it or something.
Tay’s weird. I commented mentally.
I continued into the kitchen and began to search for a cook book. Aaaaah, I thought, finding one. Cooking for the less than knowledgeable. This should work.
“What’s wrong with you, Boy?” I asked my three month old son. “You’re, what? Three months now? Zac was talking at your age!”
I relented and decided to give it another try. “Okay, now, say, ‘do it.’”
Nick looked at me.
“Well? Say it!”
Nick continued to look at me.
I looked down at my great creation. It did look a little like a big blob of chocolate, and the icing was kinda lumpy, but it was still a cake, and it was probably tasty. Plus, this was only my first attempt. If I could make it taste good the first time, I could probably make it look good after a little practice. And I still had a solid week before the shower anyway. I could pull it together.
Just then, Zac wandered into the kitchen and started rummaging through the fridge, as if he still held residence there. He pulled out some Fruitopia, and downed half of it in one gulp. Then he spotted the cake and made a face.
I explained what was going on and he offered to make the cake. I didn’t exactly trust Zac, but I figured I could let him try, and he would probably drive me insane if I didn’t, so I shrugged and left the kitchen.
Chapter Seventeen Back to the Chapters
