“Isaac!” I cried, rushing into the bedroom we shared, “Help me!”
“What the hell?”
“I think I like girls!”
“You don’t like girls!?”
“No, no, no, I do like girls.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I like girls!”
“Okay, when did you realize this?”
“About ten minutes ago, in the tree house!”
“And what made you realize this?”
“Promise not to tell Mom and Dad?”
“I promise.”
“I lost my virginity.”
“Tay, you lost your virginity a long time ago. How old is Nick now? Eleven monthes ring a bell? You lost your virginity a year and seven monthes ago. Now what the hell are you talking about?”
“Oh yeah! Oh well, I just lost my virginity for about the fiftieth time. I think I might like girls!”
“You dumbass, you’re a hormonal teenage boy. Of course you like girls.”
I rolled my eyes and ran out of the room, seeking advice on how to stop liking girls from someone else. v
The phone rang. I picked it up. “Hello, Mr or Mrs Gensen?”
“I’m Mr Hanson. Do you have a problem?”
“Um, I’m sorry sir, are you the man of the house?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Would you be interested in trying our new line of credit? You simply-”
“Well fuck you!”
I slammed the phone down.
“Zac, if that was my mother, no sex for a week,” Caty threatned.
“It was just a telemarketer. Where is your mom anyway?”
“In prison in Mexico.”
“Oh.”
As my family was eating dinner, I spoke up, “Ummmm, guys, I’m gay.”
Zac looked at me and said, “Are not.”
“Am too!”
“No you aren’t. You like girls.”
“What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be back at your house?”
“I’m visiting.”
“Fuck you.”
“Watch your mouth, you gay Scandinavian bastard!” Dad exclaimed.
Mom elbowed him and scolded, “Now, Walker.”
He looked down at his plate and pushed his mashed potatoes around.
I continued, “Anyway. I’m gay. I’m going to do my best to not like girls and like guys instead. If anyone could help me with this, I’d be very grateful.”
Jessica piped up, “I’ll help you like guys, Tay!”
“Cool.”
“I’m an expert at liking guys.”
“Jenna, do you have any problems in your life right now?” I asked my girlfriend, who appeared very distant.
“What? Oh, Isaac. No. No problems.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Okay, but remember, you can talk to me about anything.”
Jessica led me into her room and gestured at a large pin up of the dancing monkeys. I looked at it.
Jessica asked, “Now which one is hot?”
“Ummmm, none of them. They’re all guys.”
“That’s the point, Nimrod!”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Anyway, which one is hot?”
“Ummmm, that one?” I guessed, pointing at some random one.
“No you dumbass! That’s AJ!”
“Oh. Ummmmm, that one?” I randomly selected one.
“No! That’s Kevin! Now which one is hot?”
I clenched my jaw and pointed.
“Wrong answer, Bonehead. Nick Carter!”
“Ummmmm, oh. So, that one?” I pointed at the last one left.
“No! That’s Brian! He’s this one!” She pointed at the ugliest guy on the poster. I had over looked him for obvious reasons.
I looked at him and asked, “How the hell does he get chicks?”
She smacked me and exclaimed, “He’s hot! Say it!”
“Nick Carter is hot.”
“Say it like you mean it!”
“Nick Carter is hot.”
“I can’t hear you!”
“Nick Carter is hot!”
“Louder!”
“Nick Carter is hot!”
“I still can’t hear you!”
“Nick Carter is hot!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“Good boy. Now we look at my N’sync posters.”
First try did not completely connect. Trying second number. I laughed. It didn’t completely connect.
Jenna wandered into the room and asked, “What are you laughing about, Isaac?”
“Oh, nothing you need to know about.”
“Nothing I need to know about?”
“Yeah. You don’t need to know about it.”
“Isaac, is this something I need to know about?”
“No. You don’t need to know about it.”
“Isaac, are you hiding something from me?”
Jenna had been picking fights with me a lot recently. Acting as if she were looking for an excuse to dump me or something.
“Jen, I just found something funny. It’s not important.”
“Isaac, I don’t know if I can deal with having a relationship with someone who keeps secrets.”
“Jenna, are you breaking up with me?”
“Yes, Isaac. I am.”
She took her engagement ring off and handed it to me, and walked out of my life.
“Who’s hot?” she asked again, mercilessly saying I wasn’t saying it loud enough.
“Justin is!” I screamed.
“Good. I think you’ve finally got it.”
“Can I leave now?”
“Not until we look at 98 degrees posters.”
“No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Chapter Twenty-Five Back to the Chapters
