“Okay, since I’m better looking, more intelligent, better at sports, better at video games, better in bed, and just generally better than you two put together, I’m taking charge of this mission,” Zac explained.
“Uh, okay.”
Ike didn’t seem to have any problem with it. “Okay.”
“Cool. Now, you see-”
“Wait a minute!” Ike cut in. “How do you know you’re better in bed than us?”
“Dana told me.”
“Damn! Dana was a bigger slut than I thought!” I exclaimed.
“Okay, we’ll go over to gym and hang out there. Then, when we see the janitor dudes leaving,” Zac plotted, “we sneak in.”
“But they lock up!” Ike argued.
“Well then we’ll sneak in before they leave and wait until they leave to come out!”
“But where are we gonna hide?”
“The bathroom.”
“What if we get caught?”
“We can say Tay had to piss bad and we were right by the school, and the door was open.”
“Why me?” Tay whined.
“Because!”
“Damn.”
“Brandon! Put the pot away, now!”
Brandon looked confused. “Want some pot?”
“No!”
“Uh, want some pot?” he asked unsurely.
“Brandon, get the joint out of my face before I slap it! Or, uh, what I mean is, you see, uh......” He turned to the phone and asked, “Can I let you go? Okay. Bye.”
He turned back to us, “You guys are in serious trouble!”
“What?” I asked, kinda high but not really.
“Today was the last day of school, and, guess what? You haven’t been there five times this year! You’re gonna all have to repeat the eighth grade!”
“Uh, damn,” Savannah muttered.
“Yeah! And I have the perfect plan to reform all of you so you don’t fuck up again!”
“What?” Justin asked curiously.
“Saint Mary High and Middle.”
“Okay, let’s go in there and raise some hell!” Zac attempted to psych us up before we went into the middle school to free Stone Cold.
“Yeah!” I concured.
“Yeah!” Ike agreed.
We put our hands in the middle of our little circle and idd the weird ‘one, two, three, go team,’ thing, then started to cautiously sneak through the open doors into the school building.
We were are huddled together in the chicks’ room, and we had just determined that the janitors were all gone.
“Okay,” Zac ordered, “let’s get out there and free some Stone Cold! Tay, checklist: Do you have the bobby pins?”
“Yeah.”
“Sledge hammer?”
“No.”
“Damn it! Well, let’s try the bobby pins. If that doesn’t work, I guess Stone Cold doesn’t get set free.”
“Uh, damn....”
“I can’t get it open,” Ike determined, after trying to pick the lock keeping Stone Cold in the gym multiple times.
“Damn it!” Zac exclaimed. “Well, the only thing left to do is wait here while Tay goes home and gets the sledge hammer, I guess.”
“You’re right!” I exclaimed. “I can just run home and get the sledge hammer!”
I took off to go get the sledge hammer.
I hit the lock one last time, and it broke off and flew across the room.
“Yeah! I busted the lock off!”
“Yeah!”
“Woo hoo!”
Stone Cold rambled out of the gym and, looking down at us, said, “You young men saved Stone Cold Steve Austin from that gym in which I was being held, unable to attend Summer Slam, just in time for Stone Cold to make it to Summer Slam and beat Undertaker’s ass, and that is a great feat. I would just like to thanks you, very sincerely, for helping Stone Cold out when he needed it the most. Thank you, boys.”
“You’re welcome, Stone Cold!” we all chorused in unison.
“Yeah, and now he’s got the idea through his head that we need to go to some fucky Catholic school so that we don’t ruin our lives or whatever!” I finished bitching to Taylor over the phone.
“Damn, Syd, that sucks. I thought you’d be going to the same school as me this year.”
“Yeah, so did I! I was looking forward to it! We’d go to the same school, and we’d be, like, happy or whatever.”
“I know. But then Caleb has to go and fuck it all up!”
“Tay, why don’t you ask your mom if you can go to Saint Mary or whatever too?”
“You’re repeating eighth. I’m gonna be in ninth. I can’t go to the same school as you.”
“Yeah, it’s Saint Mary High and Middle. The cheap ass Catholic people have to put everyone in the same building to save money or something like that.”
“I will! I want to go to the same school as you. I’m asking my mom for a transfer.”
“Cool!”
As I watched the Sally Show- an episode about teen marriages- an idea formed in my mind. I wanted to be on the Sally Show! I was gonna ask Caty to marry me!
I wondered where Caty was. Oh yeah, in the bedroom. She was reading or something.
I went on in there and asked, “Caty?”
She looked up at me. “Yeah, Zac?”
I lost my nerve. “Do we have any soup? You know, the canned kind?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
I wandered back to the TV.
I put a bunch of crap in a bowl and stirred it around. Yep, that would make a good cake. I was trying to make a cake for my mom’s baby shower, which was coming up soon.
Tay stormed into the room, looking all determined or whatever.
“What?” I asked him.
“I’m transferring to Saint Mary High and Middle!”
“Yeah right! Tay, they make you wear uniforms at those places!”
“Well, where Sydney goes, I follow!”
“Sydney, in a Catholic institution!? You’re joking, right?”
“No. She skipped too much school and Caleb’s making her go to some Catholic school this year.”
“Well, damn for you or whatever.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight Back to the Chapters
