“So, how’re you getting on without Marie?” Ike asked me the next morning while watching TV.
“I think I’m starting to get over her.” I replied. Just then, a commercial for ‘Nair, the hair removal cream’ came on.
I looked at Ike and he had a devilish grin spread across his face. I suddenly got an idea, and, also, had a smile on my face.
“Hey Ike, are you thinking about Zac?” I asked him.
He nodded and said, “Yeah, whaddya say we remove some of his golden locks?”
I quickly agreed.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I heard my girlfriend scream, running into the room waving a broom around in the air. Sydney was right behind her, also brandishing a broom.
“What the hell!?” I asked, nearly letting my Camel drop out of my grasp.
“These vampire moths are trying to kill us all!” I was answered by Sam.
Sydney was quick to add, “They are attempting to annihilate the entire human race! Quickly, Brandon! Save yourself, while you still have time! For we are Sydney and Sam, Vampire Moth Slayers!”
“Run! Take cover! There’s a vampire moth right next to your head!” Sam warned me.
“Why doncha slay it?” I asked her.
“Because I’m going to slay it!” Sydney declared.
“No! He’s the love of my life! I get to save him from certain destruction!”
“Damn it! He’s my kin!” Sydney proclaimed, in a Scottish accent.
When they started to fight to the death with the brooms, I sat back and enjoyed the view of my woman bouncing around in tight clothing. But, as the fight progressed closer to me, I decided to leave well enough alone, and left the room.
“Uh, he’d probably tell Mom. We’d be busted right away.” Isaac quickly amended his own stray thoughts.
“Yeah, you’re right. But........”
“But what?”
“What sort of hair does Zac have, that he wouldn’t mention to Mom or Dad?”
“Oh, my God! Taylor you pervert! It’s ingenious!”
“Well......”
And we were on our merry way to Drug Mart to buy hair removal cream to remove our young brother’s unwanted pubic hair. Well, unwanted by us. Now.
“Cambridge.......What in the hell are you doing?” I complained to my girlfriend.
“-and jam, and milk, and eggs, and lunch meat, frozen foods, and-”
“Shut up! God! If I had known that you were going to spend three hours listing all the stuff you can put in your brand new refrigerator, I would never have helped you get it!”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“And I still haven’t gotten any!”
“And butter, and vegetables, like those little baby carrots! And fresh fruit, and I can even steal some magnets and stick ‘em on here, and when we have some kids, we can stick their school crap on it!”
“Kids!?”
“Speaking in the future tense.......”
“Oh, cool. You wanna do it now?”
“Uh, maybe once the newness of this fridge wears off.”
“Damn that fridge. Damn it.”
The cashier was ringing up our purchase of one bottle of Nair, and looking at me like she was wondering what body hair we were intending on removing, when Taylor noticed a squeegee display.
He quickly walked over to it and picked one up. “Hey Ike! This should come in handy! We don’t want to, like, touch his balls or anything, do we?”
The cashier woman looked at me even more strangely then when I was only purchasing a diplatory. Now she looked down right frightened.
Hmmmmm, I wonder if Cate feels like doing it today? I wondered. I sure do.
Just then, Isaac walked through the door. “Why hello, Young Zachary.”
“Uh, hey.....”
“Come here.” “Uh, Ike you’re scaring me.”
“Why, Young Zachary! Whatever do you mean!?”
“Uh, I’m getting the hell out of here! Tell mom I went to Caty’s.”
“Why, Young Zachary! Profanity!? Repent and you shall be saved!”
“No! Get the hell away from me!”
Isaac strode across the room, and took hold of my wrists. He pulled a pair of hand cuffs out of his jeans pocket, and quickly clasped them around my wrists.
“Help!” I screamed. “Taylor!”
Isaac calmly called out, “Taylor, I’ve got Young Zachary here tied and bound.”
Tay walked in, holding a big long stick thing, with a giant sponge on the end of it, in his hand. In the other hand, he held a pink squeezy bottle.
He dropped the thingie next to the door, and joined Ike, next to me. Ike lay me on the bed and walked over to Taylor’s side. My youngest older brother reached for my, uh, wait, he actually was, reaching for my fly! he quickly unzipped me.
My eyes grew wide. I was about to be sexually molested. By my older brothers. Taylor grabbed my jean cuffs and pulled my pants off of me.
When my boxers came off, I started crying. And then, miraculously, Taylor turned around and left. He walked back toward the door. Isaac was still there, but he wasn’t even looking at me. I think he was avoiding looking at me. But then Taylor stopped. He picked up the sponge-on-a-stick, and squeezed some pink lotion out of a little bottle onto the sponge part.
He walked back over to me, and actually started, massaging my dick, with the spongy-thingie. Isaac looked on, laughing. This was going way beyond kinky. Taylor stopped, about fifteen minutes later. But, of course, to me it had felt like three years.
He left the room, but soon returned, bearing a wet wash cloth. I really didn’t want to know what he intended to do with that thing. “Uh, Ike?” Taylor asked my other brother, “ I think it’s your turn now.”
“No way, Man. I’m not putting my hand there.”
“Fine. Zac, wipe yourself off.” He tossed the wash cloth on my chest. I glared at him. “Oh, yeah! Uh, well, uh........” Taylor trailed off.
But then exclaimed, “I’m not going there!”
Isaac just looked at me. “I feel sorry for you, Little Bro, but I’m not going there either.”
“I’m going for the garden hose!” Tay announced.
“You dumbass! What do you intend to tell Mom when she finds a huge puddle on the floor in here? Huh?”
“I got an idea!” Taylor declared.
He ran out of the room, and returned shortly with another set of cuffs. He quickly pulled me to my feet and cuffed my left arm to the bedpost.
He freed me from the original set, and then instructed, “Zac, get friendly with your hand.”
They quickly shuffled out of the room and shut the door behind them. I looked at the wash cloth for a while, and then, with a shrug, got friendly with my hand.
Isaac and I were reveling in the glory of our latest accomplishment, when we heard a bloodcurdling scream pierce the night. Or, afternoon. We looked at each other and burst out laughing.
I was watching TV when the phone rang.
I picked it up. “’lo?”
“Hey, Dana.” Taylor greeted me.
“Hey.”
“You’ll never believe what Ike and me did!” Taylor went on to tell me the grossest thing that I had ever heard.
“Oh my God! The poor kid! He probably thinks you molested him or something!”
”Well, he kept yelling something about child molesting, and Michael Jackson, and going far beyond kinky, the entire time.”
“Oh, my God. I’m gonna be there in five. Meet me in the tree house.”
Chapter Seven Back to the Main Page
