*Underneath*
Don't say that looks don't matter, I know that they do Too Deep
Do you know how many nights I've thought about you as I listened to the rain?
Your New Love
I saw you yesterday when you were with her.
Life Of A Fool
I'll give you my all for the promise of your trust.
When
You
Fall
I see past the image you try to form.
You Were...
You were like a cool summer breeze
The Lesson You Taught
I'm sorry I'm not the person you wanted me to be.
The Games You Play
You really built my hopes up but then you shot them down.
The Cynical Thoughts of Just A Friend
You ask why I'm cynical and why I never smile.
Love Slave
From love you cannot run, you cannot hide.
Mistakes
Why didn't I see in the beginning that he'd only break my heart?
Picking Up The Pieces
You promised me the world, but I only wanted you.
I'll Walk Away
I painted you a picture but you refused to look.
False Feelings
Why did you lead me on and pretend you cared?
Eager To Be Loved
Soft kisses bring empty promises in the darkness of the night.
I see you checking me out to see if I'm good enough for you
You can say you think I'm beautiful but I don't need your lies
Why can't you ever just look at me, see into my eyes?
Is it that terrible, do you see something I can't see?
I'm sorry I don't fit all your dreams, all your fantasies
But I'm not meant to be perfect, perfection is a
world away
I never asked you for anything important, only that you would stay
But I guess that was too much to ask, for I'm not beautiful...not a treasure
You can't fall in love with me, I don't bring
your eyes pleasure
That's fine, I can understand the way you feel
Beauty fades, nothing remains, but the heart always will
I know that today looks mean everything but I believe in love that is true
Nobody ever says looks don't matter, they all know they do
It's a double standard how only pretty people are loved, what happens to the rest?
Do we stay alone, melancholic, striving to fit in with the "best"?
I don't want to try, I'm so tired of continuously trying
I wish that for once I could fall in love and not end up crying
I have a soul that yearns, a heart that falls in love so quick
A mind that follows the heart, a head that seems too thick
I know I must be foolish because I'm so easy to deceive
But whenever someone tells me I'm beautiful it's just too hard to believe
I guess I've been hurt so many times because I lacked a pretty face
I know that if I let this get to me my heart will be gone without a trace
Don't lie to me and leave me with my grief
Don't say you don't judge...because you've never
seen what's underneath
Or how many times I've tried to forget you but I still can't stop this pain?
I've broke down and cried so many times just because you came into my mind.
You never really saw me for who I was, what made you so blind?
Was it something that I did or was there just no chemistry there?
I wish you knew how much I loved you and how much I really cared.
But you've moved on with your life while I'm still hurting alone.
Wishing I could change things, wondering what I done wrong.
I can't go back now, no way to change the past.
There was nothing I wanted more than to make this love last.
Why did things between us have to change?
Why did we have to drift apart, why couldn't it remain the same?
I guess this is the way it's meant to be, it must've been fate.
I only wish I could've known sooner but now it's too late.
Every tragic love song brings back the memories of you.
This aching, emptiness fills me no matter what I do.
I still think about you every night before I drift off to sleep.
I'm aching and hurting, I know I've been wounded too deep.
I couldn't help but think that once that's the way we were.
You used to look at me with those same loving eyes.
During a time when you promised me the moon and all the stars from the skies.
But what good are promises if they're not true?
It kills me to know that she has you.
That she's in your arms, you never think about me anymore.
I wish I could make you love me, go back to the way it was before.
To a time when you needed me, and I was part of your world.
Back to a time when I was the only one you thought about, when I was your girl.
I guess good times are meant to fade away.
Because all that's gold will not stay.
Silver starts to rust and all that's left is the how I feel.
Empty, broken, praying that she's not real.
But she is and I'm in the background, trying to find my place.
I want to be part of your life, not just another face.
I guess that's impossible, things between us were too deep.
I still think about you all the time, sometimes I still weep.
I know it doesn't do any good, crying only makes me lonely.
I miss being the one you turned to, the one and only.
She's the only one you ever need, the one you constantly think of.
I am so depressed because you've found a new love.
Now I'm just a fragment of what "used to be".
I see your arms around her, I wish that was still me.
I want you to know I honestly care about you it's more than lust.
Right now I just need time to decide if I'm really good enough.
Because all I have to offer you is myself and my love.
Could you survive on that alone?
I don't want to close my eyes one night and find out you're gone.
I don't want to fall in love just to be hurt once again.
When I'm ready I want to let you in.
My heart and soul has now become a sacred place.
Where now I don't trust just anyone, I have to see beyond their face.
I have to know if they're really sincere.
I hate always being so cautious living with this fear.
But I must pretend like I don't really care.
Like I'm not lonely I don't want someone to be there.
But I do how much longer can I must keep all this inside.
When I want to embrace someone but I always run and hide.
Is it foolish of me to feel this way?
I just want somebody to love me and not walk away.
I keep on living but I'm not really alive, I'm living the life of a fool.
Past your lying eyes, I see the storm.
Clouds black and angry trying to hide the past.
Breathing in each poisoned breath as if it were your last.
Trying to stop your fate, you know it will eventually come.
I know that you're an enigma, but where from?
Lost to the world, trapped for so many years.
Trying to swim that hate filled rive, but it's only your tears.
Time could've been so helpful but you played it like a game.
You thought things would change for the better but they turned out the same.
You had happiness within your grasp but you didn't seem to care.
You let it go so carelessly now you can't find it anywhere.
It was only a mystery that you were afraid to solve.
What could've been the consequences what might've evolved?
You cannot live on fear alone.
Because when you look back again time will be gone.
Hope dies, people die, only your dreams remain.
But you have no hopes, no dreams, only your pain.
Pain that could've been prevented if only you had tried.
Something could've stopped all the angry tears you cried.
You think I only mock you but it's not a sick game I play.
Don't you see that there is some truth in the things I say?
You won't listen now, you think you know it all.
But everything good must end so who will catch you?
When
You
Fall?
Your song echoed softly through the trees
You were like an angel when I need you
You pulled back the dark curtains and let the sun shine through
You were the mystical melody to which we danced
You were the winning game in which I chanced
You were a painted portrait of the perfect man
You were there to help me understand
You were like a fantasy, something I only dared to dream
But sometimes things are not as they seem
You were a breeze but it was already cold
Your song was just a foolish replica, I thought it was solid gold
You were an angel that had long ago fell from grace
You weren't a true mind, just a carbon copy, everything but your face
You pulled back the curtains but then it began to rain
I thought you'd bring so much joy but you only brought pain
We danced the right steps to the wrong melody
I was winning the game but it was only a fantasy
You were a painted portrait but not of the perfect man
When I really needed you, you let go of my hand
You weren't a dream but an endless nightmare
Not because of who you were but because you didn't care
You were...
You expected perfection when there was only me.
Was it too early when I let you stare into my soul?
I know the things I did were stupid, I lost control.
Did it hurt you to look into my eyes?
Because you pretended for so long, you told so many lies.
You thought you made it easier, like you weren't breaking my heart.
But only by pretending it tore my world apart.
I thought I had found what I'd been looking for.
Then you tried to tell me nicely you didn't love me anymore.
How do you fall out of love, especially if it's true?
That's when I realized I wasn't meant for you.
It just surprised me that you found another so fast.
When I turn back to face fate I pray to change my past.
I've been hurt too many times, now I see love is just a foolish dream.
Then the cruel hands of reality rip my heart at the seams.
I wish I could stop searching for a love that doesn't exist.
Because in time I won't be able to turn back in the fog, in the mist.
I must admit a vicous lesson you brutally taught.
And I learned a lot, hurt a lot, you tried to make me something I'm not.
You let me believe that true love had been found.
There's nothing left, you picked me apart.
And now you don't believe you broke my heart.
You thought it was all just a game.
No one told me, we didn't feel the same.
I wish you knew how many nights I've cried.
All because of the way you lied.
You're not the first to scar my soul, that I know.
But you left me feeling so unworthy, I've never felt so low.
I don't know why I'm telling you this, you're probably grinning.
I just wish you would've told me how things were in the beginning.
I fall in love so easy, I'm so quick to give my heart away.
But it seems so hard for me to understand that no one will ever stay.
I've begun to give up on love, I don't think it's real.
Things would be so much easier if I could change the way I feel.
But I can't, I'll feel this way again.
I don't want to play this game, it hurts and I'll never win.
I'm just so tired of loving so much and getting only pain in return.
You'd think after so many heart breaks I'd learn.
I end up hurting so much because I try to give everyone a chance.
But if the tables were turned I wouldn't get a second glance.
I know you could never understand me.
I know you'll never see.
But you have to learn to choose your words with more care.
Don't promise you'll always be there.
Don't say, 'I love you,' unless it's true.
One day you'll feel all the pain I've been through.
If only you knew me better, you'd know that's not my style.
I'm not the type who'll always pretend.
I cannot turn my emotions on and off and be just a friend.
Things may never be the same, but who would want them that way?
I think we just need to be apart or I'll regret the things I say.
I don't want to hurt you and that would be what I'd do.
I never really knew heartache, until there was you.
At first you were my ray of light and then I was drowning in the rain.
I thought you'd only bring happiness, instead I felt a lot of pain.
I was hoping, praying, dreaming, that you and I would make a happy ending.
But then reality ripped out my heart and made me stop pretending.
You never saw the tears I'd cry.
You never bothered to ask me why.
You thought of only yourself, didn't you consider my heart?
Because in a flash of light you tore my world apart.
I'm not asking you to lie and say things that are not true.
But I am asking you to realize that once I was in love with you.
I understand now, I can see all my wrongs.
I was desperate for affection, I'd been dreaming for so long.
I always let myself see through eyes that were surreal.
We were both selfish and didn't care about how the other would feel.
I'm sorry if I did something wrong, something that I should've done right.
But I can see no point in apologizing I'm not who you think of at night.
I can't say I don't love you because part of me always will.
I'm only saying from now on I must think ahead, because time won't stand still.
Like a razor blade it's only suicide.
You're only setting yourself up for heartache.
You'll fall in love but it will be a mistake.
Nothing can last always and forever.
Never any guarantees that lovers will stay together.
Just bitter hope that eventually turns into doubt.
Like a lethal disease it will turn you inside out.
You'll be caught in a web spun to deceive.
All the pain and tears because you believed.
All the yearning and aching because you cared.
Painful remorse when you recall the love you shared.
Constant humiliation when you remember the things you said.
Crying at the thought that you were misled.
A knife is twisting deep inside you, tearing up your heart.
Seeing the one you love with another and falling apart.
It all ends so unhappily, you say you'll remain friends.
But it's so hard when you love someone, that's the end.
So when you think it's all okay you're about to fall into your own grave.
When you fall in love you become a slave.
The evidence was there from the start.
My heart has always been fragile, so easy to break.
Why couldn't I see early on that loving him was a mistake?
I didn't see the deceit in his eyes.
I didn't think he'd tell me lies.
I'm so tired of giving and getting nothing in return.
I sit and ask myself, each time, why didn't I learn?
Each time I swear to never love again.
But I'm playing a game I just can't win.
I feel so asinine, I keep losing my self esteem.
Will love ever find me, or is it all a foolish dream?
Stitches are sewn on my heart, then the seams are brutally ripped.
Of my dignity, of my pride, of my tender heart I am stripped.
It's all taken away and he grins.
I hurt so much but I know I'll fall in love again.
When my eyes are blinded by love I forget about the tears that will soon mist.
Why must I keep on searching for something that can't exist?
Ludicrous fairy tales felt by none, told by all.
I never think about how bad I'll be hurting when I fall.
It's like he bites the hand that feeds.
He was only around to fulfill his needs.
Why didn't I see that he didn't care?
After all, when I was in pain he wasn't there.
He doesn't care how I feel.
I must close my eyes to foolish fantasy and except the world of real.
I have to learn how to hide.
How to bottle up my emotions inside.
Things can't hurt as bad if I'm not raw to the pain.
I have to shelter myself from the bitter, cold rain.
Time heals all wounds but it takes so long.
Looking back through my memories, so many times I was wrong.
But how does one keep from feeling the way I do?
Is there anything that can guide me through?
Or am I lost, forever alone?
My body is here but my spirit is gone.
I end up hurting all the time.
While thoughts of my ridiculous behavior invade my mind.
I opened up my heart and let him see deep within my soul
That was my biggest mistake I gave him all control.
You promised me a lot of things and I didn't have a clue.
Anyone can make a promise but only the strong can abide.
Now that we're not together I can only hope the pain will subside.
You can't build a good relationship on a foundation of lies.
It was my own fault for being blind I should've looked deeper into your eyes.
I would've known the truth then and I wouldn't be hurting now.
But you took my love, my trust, my heart and I still don't know how.
Maybe it was the way you talked, you made me believe the things you said.
Now it all makes sense, the memories are filling my head.
You promised that no matter what we'd always be together.
I should've known better, I trusted your promises of forever.
I know that someday soon I'll find someone who will make me forget you.
I'll forget about the empty promises and the heartache you put me through.
I've learned from my mistakes, I'm no longer so easy to deceive.
But I no longer trust so easily, I'm not so quick to believe.
I know how bad love can hurt, I've had my share of pain.
I've just come to realize that your loss is someone else's gain.
You used to build me up so you could shoot me down.
You used to make me smile then see how long it took to make me frown.
I know the games you play and how you always win.
But who will pick up the pieces when you break again?
I wrote you a story and you never opened the book.
I picked you a flower and you laughed as it died.
Then you mocked my flowing tears as I cried.
I gave you my love but you threw it away.
I tried to understand but you refused to talk, you refused to stay.
You wouldn't listen, I didn't have a chance.
You practically ran away from me and I didn't get a second glance.
What did I ever do to make you hate me?
I gave you the sun but you wanted the sea.
I gave you the stars but you wanted the moon.
I waited for you but you claimed it was too soon.
I would give you wings and you wouldn't fly.
I'd bring you a river but the river would go dry.
I gave you my heart and you caused it to shatter.
I was only a toy to you, I didn't matter.
Just another victim, you never really cared.
But no matter how much you hurt me I was always there.
You just kept wounding me until I could take no more.
You broke my heart again but this time worse than before.
Some day you'll need me and I'll only walk away.
You left me believing that we were equals in the love we shared.
Didn't you see how gullible I was, you made everything so easy to believe.
I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but I feel like I was deceived.
Looking back I see how wrong we were and things can never be made right.
I see so many things now, in the past when we kissed I closed my eyes too tight.
And when you said, 'I love you,' I could hear a sadness in your tone.
We kept thinking things would change, we were tired of being alone.
I should've seen deeper into your soul when I gazed into your eyes.
But I think I was afraid of seeing the truth and understanding our love was based on lies.
Even though it hurt me, I would never change the past.
The lesson I learned was cruel but true, don't try to fall in love too fast.
You cannot make another person love you.
No matter what you say, no matter what you do.
We tried too hard, in love you don't try.
And then when I thought you weren't looking I would silently cry.
Even though you didn't know it I saw you crying too.
Nothing hurt me more than knowing I was hurting you.
I thought about the old saying, 'if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's
meant to be.'
So I did, I knew it my heart that you could never really love me.
You might've cared but that would never be enough.
I understand our faults, but we both know we were never in love...
I don't see beyond his disguise, he was flawless in the moonlight.
It seems so right, it can't be wrong.
But in his arms I don't belong.
I never suspected his foolish lies.
I was entranced, hypnotized by his eyes.
Eyes I thought would never deceive.
His charming words made me believe.
He held me captive with his stories of endless love.
I should've known it wasn't me he was thinking of.
Love was the only thing I yearned.
I paid the price dearly, such harsh lessons I have learned.
My heart has always been so easy to sweep away.
But then I realize no one will ever stay.
What did I do to make him go?
It seems that the answers I'll never know.
I can't keep my head with the interference of my heart.
In the end it always hurts more when my world falls apart.
It's so lugubrious when tears fill my life and I seem to forever cry.
Pain fills my heart as my battered spirit dies.
I'm in more misery than ever before.
Things wouldn't hurt so bad if I could love no more.
I won't make promises, promises can't be kept.
In the fury of the night, I won't be responsible for the tears that are wept.
