The guys flew back to Orlando the next day. From there, Brian and Kevin flew home to Kentucky to spend some time with their families. For Kevin,this would be a short visit; in a few days, he would have to pick back up with the guys and do some more promotional things as well as writing and recording for the next Backstreet Boys album. Leighanne flew home to Los Angeles to take care of a few business engagements but promised to fly back to Kentucky before Brian's surgery which was now only a week away.
Howie, A.J., and Nick accompanied Brian and Kevin to the airport; they wanted to give their support to Brian as they would be unable to see him before his surgery. While awaiting the flight home to Lexington, the moment seemed awkward. Even though they had been together for five years and spent more time with each other than with anyone else, they all seemed at a loss for words. As their flight was announced, Kevin and Brian rose as did the other guys.
"Well, this is it," Brian said, managing a smile. The others' moods seemed to darken Brian's and make him even more tense and unsure.
"I'll be praying for you, buddy," Howie said sincerely and hugged Brian tightly. Howie had probably the least in common with Brian out of all of them, but he was sincere in his love for Brian. Howie's eyes started to tear.
"Oh, come on, man. Don't do this," Brian said, still holding on to Howie. Brian's eyes watered and he blinked back tears as well. "I'm gonna be okay."
A.J. was next. He also hugged Brian, unsure as to what to say. "I have you in my prayers, too, bro. You're gonna be alright." A.J. ruffled Brian's hair and he, too, started to get teary-eyed. He was ever the optimist.
Last was Nick's turn. Nick, by this time, was too choked up to speak. He wasn't really good with words, nor was he good at showing his emotions. This was the guy who he had always looked up to as a child. Brian always looked after him and would never tire of playing video games or basketball. Even though they argued over silly things (mostly who won the games), they were best friends. They wrestled constantly and drove the others crazy with their immature competitions, yet they were often seen hugging on each other. What would Frack do without Frick in his life? Nick hugged Brian the longest, struggling to keep his emotions under control; it wasn't working. Brian could hear Nick crying silently on his shoulder as they embraced. Oddly enough, it was Brian who comforted Nick.
"I'm gonna be okay, Frack," Brian whispered. "I'll be back before you know it. You won't even miss me."
The others walked off a short distance to give them their privacy. A second call for their flight finally broke their embrace. Nick wiped his eyes with his hands, still unable to speak.
"I love you guys," Brian waved as they started to walk toward the gate.
"We love you too," A.J. said. They all waved as Kevin and Brian boarded the plane.
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The flight home was a long one. Both Kevin and Brian tried to sleep but were unsuccessful. Neither could get their minds off of what was to come. Still, Kevin and Brian didn't speak hardly at all. They both knew what the other was thinking, though, what they were feeling. Brian's head started to pound as he flipped through a magazine he had purchased at the airport news stand. He could feel himself drifting off just as the plane was landing.
The boys were met by family members and each departed their ways. Kevin said he'd see his cousin before he left to go back home to Orlando in three days. Brian's mother looked as if she hadn't had much sleep at all, yet she commented on her son's appearance.
"You look exhausted," Jackie said, kissing Brian and hugging him several times. She felt his face, just like a concerned mother would do to a sick child. "You look pale, Brian. Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine, Mom," Brian sighed. He wasn't in the mood for all of the doting that was certain to come all evening. "I am hungry, though," Brian smiled. He knew his mom would have a big, home-cooked meal awaiting him when he got home.
"Well, I made your favorite," Jackie said, pleased to see her son smile. "Country fried steak, biscuits and gravy, corn, and macaroni and cheese. There's chocolate cake for dessert." Jackie knew this wasn't the best type food for his heart, but she decided that she would let him have this one meal. After his surgery, she would make sure that he ate foods which were lower in fat and cholesterol.
"Mmmmmm, sounds great, ma." Brian put his arm around his mother. On the way home, Jackie explained that Harold (Brian's brother) and Carrie (his sister-in-law) would be over tomorrow, but tonight it would be just the three of them. When they arrived home, Brian ate a big home-cooked meal and took a long, hot bath. Even though it was only 8:30 p.m., Brian was exhausted and went to sleep early. Jackie stayed up late, as usual, worrying about her son.
A few days later, Kevin stopped by Brian's house before going to the airport. Kevin couldn't stop thinking about his cousin ever since they arrived home. He remembered very clearly how, as an 8 year old child, his mother and father were constantly at the hospital visiting a very sick Brian. His mother, who was close to Brian's family, would sit up late and cry after her hospital visits. Brian's mother had moved in to the hospital, quitting her job, so she could be with her son. Jackie called Ann sobbing, telling her that the doctor wanted her to start making the funeral arrangements. Jackie almost couldn't bear it. Ann tried to be as encouraging as she could, but what could she say to someone who was given no hope for her child? Kevin wasn't allowed to visit the hospital. He was told that he was too young, but his cousin Brian was very sick and he must be prayed for. Kevin did pray, every night. Now he was older, and had grown much closer to Brian; he was worried sick. What if something went wrong? What if the technology didn't work? What if his heart stopped again?
Brian was watching ESPN when Kevin dropped by.
"Hey, Kev," Brian tried to sound cheerful, although he was very worried himself.
"Hey," Kevin waved as he entered the living room. "Well, back to work for me."
"Yeah, I'm sorry you can't have more time off," Brian said.
"It's nothing compared to what you've gotta go through," Kevin immediately regretted those words. Brian smiled and looked down."Hey, you'll be fine. You're a strong guy. Strongest man I've ever met," Kevin felt tears well up in his eyes and blinked them back. He didn't want to lose it in front of Brian; he needed his support, not pity.
"You bet," Brian hugged his cousin tightly, not wanting to let him go. Brian and Kevin fought a lot on the road, and Brian started regretting the many arguments. Brian resented Kevin telling him to "grow up" all the time and Kevin resented Brian's "I could care less" attitude. They were two different people who loved each other very much. It was times of crisis and illness that brought them together and made their love and their bond stronger.
Brian watched his cousin pull away and a sadness fell over him like he'd never experienced before. As a kid, he was told by Jackie that death was something that he shouldn't be afraid of; there was no pain in heaven and he'd see his parents soon. Brian was so weak then, so frail. Brian was scared as a kid, but this was somehow different. There was so much at stake now. He was much older and had a more realistic grasp of death (or so he thought) and he knew that this wasn't his time to go. But, God had already granted him a second chance in life. What if he'd already served his purpose and God was ready for him now? Brian went to his room and closed his door, feeling a wave of nausea come over him. He slept.
The next day, Brian took a drive with his mother. He wanted to talk to her, to tell her things he'd never told her before, and may never tell her again. He brought along the demo tape of his song for her: "The Perfect Fan." She heard it and realized it was about her as Brian sang "You showed me just how to walk without your hands..."and burst into tears, hardly able to see the road. Jackie always told her sons that she could only do so much for them, the rest they'd have to find out on their own. Sooner or later, they'd have to learn to walk on their own. This was the best piece of wisdom anyone's ever imparted on him. After listening to the tape, he told her how much he loved her, how much she meant to him. He told her how much he loved her for supporting him, for raising him with such strong morals. He told her to take care of his dad and to make sure that his brother Harold raised his own little girl with as much love and support as they were raised with. Brian started sobbing now with his mother. She stopped the car and they hugged for what seemed like hours.
After the trip, Brian talked with his dad, his brother, and his best friend from childhood, Chris. He talked to them each alone, telling them that he loved them. Brian didn't want to leave anything unsaid. He even felt a little better after speaking with them. After speaking with them, Brian wrote a letter to each of his fellow band mates to be mailed in case anything ever happened to him. He didn't want to leave any stone unturned. That left only Leighanne to talk with.
Leighanne flew to see him on Wednesday, May 6th, 2 days before his surgery. He picked her up early at the airport and planned a picnic in the park; he wanted to spend all day with her. He told her much he loved her and that, if he made it through this operation, he'd marry her one day. He knew it would be a long way off; she had her career and his career was really taking off – the fans didn't even know about them yet. But he knew that when he fell for someone, he fell hard and if she was willing to stick by him for this surgery, she'd stick with him through anything. Leighanne remained cheerful and optimistic, making Brian feel a little better. She brought Tyke with her (she took him everywhere) and he played frisbee in the park and ate some of their leftover fried chicken and cole slaw. Brian almost hated to see this perfect day come to an end. They stayed out all day and retired in separate rooms (Brian's parents were still old-fashioned and did not like two unmarried people sleeping together in their house). Brian kissed Leighanne goodnight on the porch swing out front after watching the stars and secretly wishing on the brightest.
The next day, Brian went to the hospital and had some pre-surgery tests. He was given some medication to start taking and was told not to eat or drink anything past midnight ("Not a problem," Brian thought to himself).
He came home from the hospital exhausted, not ready for the big gathering his parents had at the house for him. His grandparents came over, as well as many aunts, uncles and cousins. Harold and Carrie were there with their daughter Emily who was too young to know what was happening. She had only recently stopped thinking that Brian was a werewolf after seeing the video "Everybody". Everyone gathered around Brian and prayed, some giving cards and gifts, others merely showing their love and support. Brian felt uncomfortable; he loved being the center of attention (Brian always craved attention when he was a kid), but he didn't like people gathering at his house because of his surgery,because he might not make it.
The party ended fairly early. The medication Brian had taken was starting to make him feel sick and Jackie quickly escorted the family out, letting Brian rest. Leighanne understood and stayed up with his family as Brian retired to his bedroom. Brian tossed and turned all night, waking up several times and staring at the ceiling. He prayed to God that he would be spared once more. But inside, he knew he was ready to die. He had been reading his Bible more and more recently and had given his soul to Christ. If he was ready, why was this experience so hard for him? Brian wondered.
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CHAPTER 5 COMING SOON!!