Only Fools Rush In
by PrincessButtercup
Long to touch you
Wanting to see that look
in your eyes
Hoping you'll understand
Knowing the consequences
of these feelings we embrace
Like a drug injected
into my soul
The needle pricked
the skin over my heart
The bolld dropped from the wound
as the tear does from my eyes
All this poison is for you
Dreaming of kissing your lips
wishing to feel your caress.
~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~
It started out as a normal morning for Cordelia Chase
at the office. Arriving a bit late making the coffee then sorting
through the mall. Even the evening went
normal they got a call about some rebel vampires holding up in a warehouse
downtown so Wesley, Angel and Gunn went to check it out while she stayed
behind to finish going through the bills. It was about 10'o clock when she
started to feel a bit tired. Cordelia walked over to the coffee pot to turn
it off when a vision hit her, there was no one around to catch her fall,
she went falling to the ground but as she did so the back of her head slammed
against the table rendering her unconcious.
******
Across town at Wolfram and Hart sat Lindsey McDonald ,their golden boy, at his desk going over his
latest case when in walked Lilah. He grited his teeth just at the sight of her..if he ever met the devil, he thought, he would probably look like Lilah. He had to keep from smiling to himself.
"What the hell do you want Lilah?" Lindsey asked her.
"To see when you were leaving..I just want to make sure you dont put in any extra hours that I dont know about." Was her reply to him.
He knew he was about to ready to leave so instead of dealing with her, he grabbed his file, standing up he took it over to the file cabnent and placed it inside before locking it up.
"I'm leaving now. You plan on following me out of the building? Scared that maybe I have one up on you?" Lindsey said to her in what could be considered a venomous tone.
"No. We'er going to walk out together." Lilah stood in his doorway not budging till he did.
He mumbled something to himself then walked out of his office with Lilah at his heels.
******
Cordelia started to stir on the floor, the guys haven't returned back yet but something was wrong..very wrong.
"What..oh my head.." Then sudden fear hit her..she sat up like a bolt of lighting cracking through the sky. Her chocalate brown eyes darted around the room wide and terrified. She couldnt remember where she was..why she was there..or even who she was. She knew something was wrong but couldnt remember what. Cordelia did know that not having her memory was a bad thing. There had
a be a reason she was there. She wasnt going to stick around and find out. She quickly got up and looked around for the door, she saw it and a mad dash out of it. Her heels clicking on the floor. When she reached
outside, she looked both ways and couldnt figure out a direction to take, so she picked one. Straight ahead. Yeah thats good, she thought. Just as she was running. Angel and the crew pulled up they saw her running but had no idea why. Angel jumped out of the car.
"CORDELIA!" He yelled after her, no avial she just kept running. Wesley came up next to him. And watched her. And then Gunn.
"Maybe she had a date and forgot about it." Gunn suggested and shrugged it off.
"No. That's not like Cordelia to just forgot something as important as a date..well a date to her is very important." Replied Wesley.
"I think your right Wesley. She wouldnt forgot a date. But it is late..and she's been working hard lately..I dont know though.."
"Forget about it, this is like her..you'd guys worry if a tack fell and you couldnt find it." Gunn said as he started to walk inside. Wesley and Angel exchanged glances but followed Gunn in.
*******
Lindsey was sitting in traffic on his way home. His
top down in his convertable, his elbow was leaning on the door frame and his chin rested on his fist. There was a slight breeze in LA tonight, and it softly ruffled his hair, he reached down with his right hand
out of habit but quickly switched to his left hand to put on the stereo, he was station flipping when a song caught his ear, it was an old song but he couldnt help but leave it there..he started to sing softly along with the words, not caring if his top was down not caring if anyone heard him it was something he simply wanted to do..
"Wise men say only fools rush in
but i cant help falling in love with you
shall I stay
would be a sin
if i cant help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be..."
And at that moment was when he saw a woman run right
in front of his car, her short chopping hair bouncing with every step she took. She wasnt running that fast because of her heels. He quickly recongnized her as she stopped and took a look around. Her eyes fixed on
him and he felt his chest tighten for a moment as his icy blue eyes started into hers. She didnt even seem
to register who he was. He looked around quickly, the traffice wasnt going anywhere anytime soon so he stepped out of his car already forming an evil idea in his mind. Lindsey walked over to her and gently touched her arm.
"What's got you?" He asked her.
"Huh? Who are? Do I know you?" Cordelia asked him.
He was almost shocked at that. The girl had no idea who he was but he watched her as she rubbed the back of her head. Then it hit him. She doesnt remember him. He wanted to make sure.
"What's your name?"
"I..I..I dont really know..I cant rem..meber
anything.." She said admitted almost sheepishly.
"Then you probably shouldnt be running around the city streets at night it could be..dangerous." He said with a smirk on his face but to her it looked like a
regular smile. "My car is right over there come with me and I'll see if can help jog your memory. I'm
Lindsey."
"Hi Lindsey..umm alright..thank you." She said as she hesitated for a moment then let him lead her to his car where they both got in.
********
Mean while Angel and Wesley were sitting around the
office going through some old books researching a demon they caught wind of while killing the vamps
kinda funny what they confuse before they are turned into dust. Wesley had gotten up and walked over to Cordelia's desk to grab a peice of paper to write down some information then he saw something that caught his attention Cordelia's sweater and her purse and her messenger bag. She would never leave with out any of them. Wesley turned to Angel who looked up momentarly and saw the look on his freinds face.
"What is it Wesley?"
"Cordelias things. Their still here. She didnt take them with her."
Angel walked over to her desk and saw that he was right. Something was definatly wrong and now he was worried.
"This isnt good. Do you think she could be at her apartment?" Angel asked.
"I'll call her there." Wesley picked up the phone and dialed her number her machine had picked up so he left a brief message to call them when she got in. "I got her machine. Angel we should go look for her.
Something might have happened while we were out..she could be in trouble."
"Alright I'll go look for her, you stay here in case she comes back. And if Gunn comes in tell him about the problem. I'll call in a bit to see if she called
here." With that Angel left the office and left Wesley sitting there fearing the worse.
*******
Lindsey unlocked the door to his apartment and let
Cordelia in. She walked in and was taken aback at the size of the place and they way it was decorated she could tell he had money, and lots of it and for some reason that appealed to a small part inside of her, also that he was really cute.
"Please make yourself at home." He motioned to a couch that sat in the middle of the room. "I'll get us some drinks and you can tell me what you do remember and for now since you cant remember how about we call
you..Cordelia? That's a pretty name dont you think?"
He spoke as he walked into his kitchen.
"Yes. That is a pretty name I like it. Ok so for now until i can remember my real name I'm Cordelia. I want to thank you for picking me up..anything could have happened to me out there. I should be thankful that someone like you found me."
While he was in the kitchen fixing them both a vodka tonic he felt something inside of him cringe that
nasty lil thing he called a consious was fighting it's way back. No. He willed it down but for some reason it seemed to be winning. So instead of fighting it he
compromised. What fun is it tormenting her since she
doesnt even know who i am..but then again her freinds on the other hand that's a whole nother story. And suddnely he felt better. He walked back into his living room with two drinks in his hand handing Cordelia one.
"Here ya go Cordelia." He said with a grin, the kind that if a snake could smile that's the one it would have right before it strikes.
"Thanks Lindsey. To tell the truth I dont remember
much. I woke up in some office of sorts. I didnt know where I was so i just ran out and ran as fast as I could."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Well.." Lindsey leaned back into his plush red couch. "You can stay here as long as you want. Tommorrow I can take the day off from work we can go into town and buy you some clothes
since I'm sure you dont remember where you live. And I'll help you every bit of the way."
"Really? Shopping?" The thought excited her for some reason. "But i have no money to go shopping with. And I certaintly want you to pay for everything."
"No. I'm buying you everything you need. Dont worry
about the money. I'm sure you can find a way to repay."
"I'll clean and cook for you. Wait do I even know how to cook?" She looked away thinking for a moment. "Well I'll figure it out." Cordelia smiled and chimed with a soft laugh.
Lindsey got caught off gaurd staring at her smile then her laugh, it was like entrancing silver bells if he had anything more beautiful in life he couldnt remember it. No. He scolded himself inside. No no no. He had to do something other then stare at her but he couldnt help it. Her soft brown eyes her heart shaped lips..everything on her was just perfect. Evil. He was
evil that's right he couldnt go soft now. Not now when he had her with him. She's perfect bait. Angel would do anything to get her back. And he would look so much better then Lilah.
"Hey you alright? You look like your in worse shape then me." Cordelia said with a smile playing on her
pink shiny lips.
"Yeah..great." He smiled back warmly to. He even felt
it. He was making himself sick. "Well I'm sure you
dont want to sleep in that. Let me see what i can dig out for you. Stay here. I'll be right back." He got up quickly. Thanking everything that he left the room, he didnt know how much more he could take being in the same room with her and that smile. He rifled through
his draws and pulled out an old baggy shirt that he
normally just wore around the house when he was lounging. He walked back into the living room to find her leaning over one of the tables he had set up near the window looking at a few pictures on it from when he was a child, he kept them in his house only to
remind him that he never wanted to be that poor again,
that's all only a reminder. She hadn't heard him come
in, she just leaned over looking at them. He couldnt help but take in her body. He searched her up and
down. Her pale lavender halter top sundress fit her curves in all the right ways. He started from her muscular calves, must be the heels, he thought, his eyes worked their up her firm legs to her shaply ass, god she was a site, her body was amazing he could feel something stir inside of him. Now is not the time for that so he cleared his throat.
"Ahem..I think this should do fine. It's long enough to cover you." Oh did he just really say that?
She spun around on her heels after putting a picture down. And did it again she smiled that charming smile at him. She couldnt help it. Just seeing him made her smile. His intense blue eyes always caught her attention. Like they were always thinking of something so far away but yet he was still here. She felt so safe with him. She trusted him and he was a stranger but something was there. And she couldnt deny it.
"Thanks. It'll do."
About an hour later after talking and watching a few shows they decided it was time to go to bed. Lindsey let Cordelia take his bed while he took the couch. She had tried to fight him on it but he stood his ground. Now she was laying in his bed with her head in the pillow, trying not to let him hear her cry. She was upset that she couldnt remember who she was where she came from, anything. At least something. Then she heard a noise and her body stiffened up. It was so dark in his room but she got up and made her way to the door.Silence. She creeped open the door and padded silently down his hallway to the living room.
"Lindsey?" She called in a whisper, then heard it
again, it was a soft moan coming from the couch. She walked over to the couch and kneeled next to him, placing her hand on him, shaking him a bit.
"Lindsey..wake up..it's a bad dream..wake up.."
He flipped his eyes open almost forgetting she was in his place he started at her. His eyes glittering in the dark.
"Cordelia. Are you ok?" He asked his voice was rough with sleepy tone in it.
"I'm fine. You were the one who was having a nightmare..i'm just living in mine." She said as she
gently stroked his hair away from his forehead. He was
losing himself in her touch and he knew it. He brought his hand up to swat her hand away but instead found himself holding it. Staring into her eyes he saw a fragile young girl that seen so much pain and death in her life, he felt to much compassion for her. That's all it was right? That's all it had to be he had his uses for her and he couldnt fall for her. But he felt that all was slipping away as he held her hand.
Cordelia didnt pull back away from his hand. Instead she lowered her head do that it was resting on his
chest. Hearing his heart pound inside his chest made the moment for her more initmate. He wrapped his right arm around her, wishing that he could he stroke her hand with his hand but he couldnt..not after what
Angel did to him. And now it hurt more then ever. He took in her scent. Fresh flowers. That's what she smelled like. It ticked all his senses.
"Lindsey? Can I ask you something?" she asked into his chest.
"Yeah..anything." He breathlessly replied to her.
"How did you lose your hand?" She then sat up and
looked into his eyes. It wasnt pity he saw there it
was tenderness. To much for his liking. A lie would do nicely here.
"Boating accident." Was all he said he had a feeling
she would press him anymore on the matter.
"Oh...I'm sorry."
"Nothing for you to be sorry for..it was my fault."
"I realized that when i was changing I have a nasty
scar. On my stomach. I dont know how I got it though. But it must have hurt."
He never knew that she had a scar on her stomach, then again he didnt know to much about her. But he was
wishing he did. He wanted to know all of her. The real
her. Not the girl with amniesa but Cordelia Chase. He knew that would never happen because once she got her
memory back it would all be over with. Lindsey was now wishing he never picked her up things were getting to out of hand. His emtions were taking control of him.
The emtions he tried so hard to forget he had.
Cordelia took him by the hand leading him off the couch.
"Cor..where..? he asked nervously.
"Shhhhh." she said with her fingertip on her lips
She took him into his bedroom, laying down on the bed.
She patted the side next to her. He just stood there not knowing what to do.
"Cordelia..no. I ..just.." He stammered.
"It's not like that. I want you to sing to me." She
replied to him with a small chuckle. "I noticed you had a guitar, so i figured you probably sang to" She beamed up at him. How could he resist her offer. He knew all of this was wrong it was going against who he was, no, who he is. But Lindsey walke over to the bed sitting down next to her. She had curled into a ball with her head on his chest. He was at a lost as to
what to sing to her. She clouded all his thoughts. So
he just started to sing a song that he had made. And what came through his lips was a voice that could make the angles jealous..
"I wake up to dream and dream to wake
I see your face when i close my eyes
I remember your smile your laugh your eyes
You were different from me but yet I
dreamed for you with me.
The stars our only link
When i look up i will think of you
you are apart of the stars
in dreams i am with you now
no one can seperate us
your scent lingers on me only bringing
tears to my eyes but you know what to do
without a word
But when i wake up from my dreams
I want to sleep to be with you."
He knew he could do much better then that but he couldnt think if anything. But when Lindsey looked down at Cordelia she was sleeping. He didnt want to move for fear of waking her up so he wrapped his arm around her placing his head on her head that was cradled in his shoulder.
*************
Angel tapped Wesley's feet to wake him out of his slumber on the couch. Groggily he started to wake up fixing his glasses.
"Any word from Cordelia?" He asked Angel seeing his face he already knew the answer but felt that he needed to ask it.
"No..Wesley it's been to long she would never not show up for work...ok she would but she would have called by now. I checked her apartment and nothing..no note not weird messages.."
"You..You ahh checked her machine? Do you feel that was appropiate?" Wesley looked at him questionly.
"Yeah. I wanted to see if there maybe was any threats to her, but nothing." Angel sat down on the couch
rubbing his temples. He knew this wasnt like Cordelia.
She knew they all worried about her and here he was sitting there..not doing anything he felt helpless. She could be at the hands of an evil demon being subjected to horrible torture...
***************
Cordelia laughed in delight at what Lindsey said.
Sitting in the the park underneath the sun with a picnic basket between them. Lindsey listened as Cordelia made up stories about her childhood and her many rich boyfriends she had growing up. He couldnt
help but be amused that she was getting close but he knew to her they were fairy tales..and this was going
all to good. Him sitting here with her after buying
her anything her heart desired now having picnic getting her to trust him more and more with the time he has. And if and when she ever get's her memory he'll kill her right now she was bait..bait to get to Angel..that's right Lindsey keep telling yourself that while your smiling like a child in a candy shop he thought to himself. No..he was just using her, what ever she felt for him it wasnt real it couldnt be
because once she got back to being the real Cordelia she'd hate him even more. And that was for the best
yes, yes it was. Then he came back into reality as she was finishing one of her tall tales.
"So then he whisked me off my feet and brought me to
LA..and umm dumped me. That's the end of the story. I
was dumped and you met me. See i'm even secure enough to admit i was dumped." She smiled so brightly at him he thought the sun was diming.
"How about diner tonight? But at my place. I mean it would be fun we can set the table and order in and light some candels.." Lindsey wondered if had gone to far with that last statement but he needed to violate her in a way she would never forget once she regained her memory..keep telling yourself that. But the way
she looked at him he didnt see any objections instead he saw thoughts..thoughts that might even make his look petty..god was that almost "i'm a female tiger and will you to shreds" look in her eyes. Whatever it was he was loving it. And it was scaring the hell out of him.
Part 2
