Author's Note: Lindsey bad lil song is written by me..I know there are bad songs out there but this one is just well bad.
Chapter 5
Angel and Cordelia sat in his office. Wesley had left along with Gunn who finally some how gotten himself a date. She played with the white bandage around her wrist. She could feel angels stare.
"Do you remember anything? Did he hurt you?" Angel asked. He was trying to remain calm, but now all he wanted to do was go to Wolfram and Hart and kill everyone who worked there it didnt matter if they were innocent or not.
"No.." She shook her head trying to get out the words, she felt as though she wanted cry but she knew with the way Angel was feeling now that wouldnt be a good idea. "He..he was actually good to me..but I'm sure it was for some wicked thing.." She mumbled out.
"Yes Cordy. You have to remember that. Lindsey didnt do anything out of the kindness of his lil black heart, he was going to use you against me as a pawn in his plan you cant forget that. If Lindsey ment good then the first thing he would have done is brought you back here and let us help you, but he didnt."
"Angel I know..I know..i dont know what happened one minute I was here making coffee the next I'm in his apartment in his clothes..tied to a chair and the memories..god Angel." She sighed heavyly.
"Something happened between you two didnt it?" Angel got up and circled the desk to her. "Tell me Cordelia I need to know. You dont have to be afraid to tell me." His tone was borderlining anger and comfort.
"I..he..we..slept together." Cordelia couldnt hold the tears back any longer, she let them flow freely from her eyes but she hid her face in her hands not wanting to show them to him. "I'm sorry..I know it was wrong..I know it was..it's my fault." Angel only knelt down beside wrapping one arm around her, pulling her to him holding her gently.
"Shhh Cordy..you didnt know. It's not your fault you understand me? It's not." He said pulling her hands away from her face looking into her eyes.
"I'm sorry Angel..I cant be here..I need to take a walk..get out." Cordelia pushed him away from her as she got up and grabbed her bag. "I'll be back later..dont give me that look Angel. I'll be fine. I always am. You remember *that*." She said as she walked out. Leaving Angel only to stand there and stare in the direction she left in. He heard the door close and he slammed his fist on the floor with such force it splintered the boards.
*************
Cordelia walked along the LA streets, her arms folded against her chest trying to keep out the cold that was not from the weather but from what was inside of her. For some reason a feeling rose from deep within her. Lindsey..she had to see him. She had to know what he wanted her for why he kept her there. He even named her even though it was her real name, she needed to figure this out for her own peice of mind, she wouldnt get it from Angel she could only get it from Lindsey. She started with his apartment first.
*************
Lindsey woke up, taking in a deep breath from his teeth. He tried to clear his head to remember the events. He wasnt in his apartment. Where was he? He opened his eyes more the blurrienss went away, he heard the sound of a light beeping..a heart moniter. He was in the hospital. But how did he get here. And why? He should probably be dead by now. He saw a bouqet of flowers by his bedside he reached over slowly, since every move he made it was more painful then the last. He opened the card and read it outloud to himself..
"Lindsey, my boy, your stronger then you look. I commend you on your ambition. I look forward to seeing you at the office when you get well. Get better soon. We'er all routing for you. Manners." He threw the card on the table. Holland must have made the call hide the demon bodies just like a regular Wolfram and Hart cover up. He must have thought Lindsey had something evil in mind with taking Cordelia..come to think of he did, but he didnt remember what..maybe he really didnt at all. God, will my brain ever stop thinking, he thought to himself.
"Oh Mr. McDondal, your awake. You've been sleeping for some time now, but with the beating you took I'm not surprised." Said a cheery nurse to him.
"What happened how did I get here?" Lindsey asked in a rough voice. Wouldnt a breath mint be nice right about now.
"Some men broke into your apartment, gave you a good beating, i think a neighbor must have called it in. Your employer was here he filled in the details for us. Do you need anything?"
"A toothbrush."
**************
She walked away from his apartment after seeing the police tape, crime scene..a good cover-up. So did that mean he was staying somewhere else? When in doubt always check the hospitals. He would need one of the those after the beating he took. She wasnt glad about it, she wanted to be the one who beat the life out of him. She sighed she knew this was getting in over her head. But what was new. She was 20 years old, has visions, works with a vampire, tell me anyone else who does that and I'll shut up, she thought as she walked to the nearest phone.
***************
Lindsey smacked his lips together happy now with the fresh breath feeling some what better. He laid the toothbrush and toothpaste on the table next to him. He was lucky he got a room all to his own. That's what you get when your a high priced lawyer. Even in hospitals they treat you good..well not exactly maybe only this one.
"Mr.McDondal?" The nurse asked as she walked in.
"Yeah?"
"You have a visitor. Do you feel up to them?" She asked him.
"Umm..sure. Send him in." he said probably Holland or what if it was Lilah what she gonna do smother him with the pillow? The nurse walked out he heard her talking to a woman out side, he watched the door intently wondering who his visitor was.
Cordelia Chase walked into the room. A bandage around her wrist. Dread rush through his body, along with another tingly feeling. He had to find his voice..his cold lawyer voice.
"What are you doing here?" Instead of a mean cold voice it came out confused and startled.
"Relax I'm not here to kill you, but i hear if you pay the doctors enough they will." She said as she crossed the room to his bed taking a seat in the chairs that were provided for vistors.
"Well that's a relief, be pretty hard to run down the hall dragging my IV's with me and my night gown flapping open in the back." He said. Cordelia tried to supress a smile this was the Lindsey that took care of her. Then she got seirous again. All happiness fading from her brown eyes.
"Why did you do it Lindsey? And dont give me because I'm an evil lawyer it's my job crap either I want to know why you really did it. Was it for a sick plan? Did you want to get Angel back by doing horrible things to his seer? Which happens to be me."
Lindsey looked away from her. He couldnt bare to let his tainted eyes stare into her innocent ones. He suddenly found the white dull wall vey interesting.
"Lindsey. Look at me. I want you to tell me why you did it?" Her tone some what harsher now. That got his attention. He took in a deep breath.
"You want me to tell you that it was for some evil plan? Yeah sure it was because at this point that's all you'll believe. Yes yes yes. I did it as some big revenge plan for Angel without you hes nothing. He's vulnerable. That's why i did it to get back at Angel he took something important to me..i wanted to take something important for him. There ya go now you know. Bye." He looked away again. His clear blue eyes started to haze over into a darker blue, he brought his hand up and bit on his knuckle. He didnt look over as he spoke. "You havent left yet."
"Because I dont believe you. And I'm not leaving till I get the truth..good thing I brought a magazine with me." She retorted to him. Lindsey only glanced at her through the cornor of his eye.
"I feel in love."
He heard the magazine drop on the floor.
"With Angel?" She asked. He only rolled his eyes but still couldnt look at her. He felt tears on the brim of his eyes. No that cant be right. He doesnt cry..he couldnt cry.
"With you."
Her mouth dropped open, she wondered if she unhindged her jaw. She couldnt believe it. This was a sick game he was playing. It had to be..he couldnt mean it. But then she remembered that time where he rocked her to sleep..when he sang to her. You couldnt fake tenderness like that. No one was that good of an actor.
"Lindsey?" She asked in a small voice.
"What? Your still here? I thought you'd go running back to Angel's to take a hot shower and tell your boss to kill me."
"Sing to me."
He finally looked over at her like she just lost her mind.
"Huh?"
"You heard me sing to me. When you sang to me that one night..it was comforting, like my mind had cleared..so..sing to me." This time she almost commanded it.
"Cordelia..i really.."
"Shhhh..please?"
Lindsey knew he had to pick a song from his heart. This was sprung on him. He had expected her to go running and screaming down the hall, but instead she wanted a song. Fine one lousy song what could it hurt.
"What do you wanna hear?" He asked feeling a bit odd.
"Anything..I dont care. I want to hear you sing to me." She said.
He knew he had to think fast again..it wouldnt be good but at least if he sang to her, then maybe she'll leave and he can try and forget he loves her. So he closed his eyes and started a song that came from his heart.
"I know that once you walk out that door,
the love I found will be never more.
I may not know alot about love,
but I do know what my heart wants
it wants to hold you, it wants you
deep inside,
never lose you
always care for you
But you'll walk away
and never stay
you never belonged to me
but you see girl
I belong to you
Never doubt me
Dont ask me twice
once will always be enough
I know though when you out the door
I'll never see you anymore.."
When he opened to eyes, he looked over at Cordelia who had tears in her eyes. She let one slip down her cheek as she stared at him. He couldnt hold the words back anymore.
"Cordelia i love you..I feel in love with you what I did was so selfish..I'm so sorry. I never ment to hurt you in anyway. Please believe me.." She hold up a hand quieting him. She got up from where she was sitting and walked over to him. She leaned down and layed a sweet kiss on his broken lips, then collected herself and walked away.
***********
Cordelia couldnt go back to where the guys where. She needed to be alone. Night had fallen in the City of Angels. That wasnt the worst of her fears at the current moment. Her heart was what scared her the most. Her feelings for Lindsey were so unclear to her, could she love him, was it possible to love him, would she let herself love him? All these questions and more plagued her mind.
After about an hour of walking she headed back to her place, Silver Lakes. She smiled some what at her apartment. She would go home put some pop corn in the microwave and catch a flick on Bravo or something. She fished her keys out of her purse, as she went to unlock she found it open, this startled her some. Her fears were put ease knowing Dennis would keep out unwanted guest. She peeked her head in.
"Hello?" She stepped in and jumped some when a figured emerged from her kitchen.
"Angel. You scared the death out of me! What are you doing?"
"I got worried about you when you didnt come back from your break."
"Sorry I got side tracked. I guess I should've called but ya know..one track mind Cordy." She tried to smile and shurg it off but realized he had on his 'this is too serious to joke' look.
"Look Angel bad things happen to us all the time. I'm fine and I'm ok I dont need a baby sitter every where I go. Alright?"
"Cordelia. This is serious. If Wolfram and Hart have a chance to get to me they will.."
"Ya know, not 'everything' is about you! This whole Lindsey issue? It has nothing to do with you Angel. Why does everything have to be 'their trying to get me, they want me'. Well I got news for you this time. It's not about you!" Cordelia was standing there with her hands on her hips she still hasnt taken off her small jean jacket or put down her bag.
Angel stared at her, furrowing his brow confused. The one side of lips twitched for just a second. Her anger was steming from somewhere and he knew it had to do a certain W&H lawyer. With out saying anything back to her he grabbed his duster and head past her. He needed to be somewhere, he needed to someone. This was gonna stop. Now. But what he could do? Tell Lindsey to stay away from Cordelia? No. He had to let her handle this one..as much as he wanted to kill Lindsey he would contain himself.
************
A few days later Lindsey was back at his office, sitting in his chair over looking LA. It was a big city full of things he wished he wasnt a part of. He knew though he played a big part in what plauged the city. At first he never cared. Then it started to seep in, lil by lil everything was starting to get to him. Then he found Cordelia. God only he could take advantage of someone like her. Use her. Hurt her. He deserved all the bad things that could happen to him in his life. And his missing hand will always be a painful reminder of just how bad he screwed up with her along with everything else in his life. This was one case..he knew that would never have closure.
THE END
