Through the manipulation of virtual particles, it is theoretically possible to both SEND MESSAGES BACKWARDS IN TIME!!! through the application of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle and to TRAVEL BACKWARDS IN TIME!!! by use of the Casimir Effect.
Messages in time: the momentum associated with a virtual particle can be very precisely measured, and due to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, the location of that particle becomes so uncertain as to occupy all of space. Thus, the momentum associated with a virtual particle can be exchanged no matter the physical location of the two particles between which the exchange takes place. If the particles are sufficiently far enough apart, the virtual particle that travels between them appears to move faster than the speed of light. The result is that the particle which receives the virtual particle appears to affect the transmitting particle backwards in time. If these effects are properly measured, it could be possible to transmit messages to the past!
The Casimir Effect: The Casimir Effect brings a whole new meaning to the term "free energy." Virtual Particles flit about all over the universe continually. As one would expect, the sum of the virtual particles equals a nice, round nil. However, at any given finite volume in space time, the virtual particles may not totally cancel each other out. In fact, they usually do not. This has some interesting effects on uncharged, parallel plates. As the distance between the plates decreases, the energy density caused by the virtual particles also decreases, thus there is a force drawing the plates together. Indeed this attractive Casimir force can be measured by the equation:
F=[(pi2)(h-bar)(c)/(240)(a4)]*A
where F=the force, h-bar=Planck's constant divided by two pi, c=the speed of light, a=the distance between the two plates, and A=the area of either of the two plates.
Incredibly, if two identical sets of these plates are created and a wormhole is also created between the two plates. Then time travel is possible. One only needs to accelerate one of the sets of plates to near light speed. Time will slow for that plate, but not for the other set which remains on earth. As one passes through the wormhole, one will end up coming out of the other end before entering the first end. And thus time travel is born!!!
Other things Virtual Particles are responsible for: falling toast always landing on the buttered side, six-toed cats, tornadoes always seeking out trailer parks, Mr. Fields, alien abductions, and that freaky way cats will suddenly jump up and race around the room as if they were chasing something.
--an excerpt from THE MOCK-JOURNAL OF UNTRUE SCIENCE
