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GEORGIA CLUB
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How to tell if your a "High Tech Redneck"

10. Your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com"

9. You connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page"

8. The bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop"

7 Your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson"

6. You've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.

5. Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.

4. Your wife said "either she or the computer had to go", and you still don't miss her.

3. You ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy".

2. Your screen saver is a bit map image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.

1. You start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all".

Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't"

10. I need to whip it out by 5

9. Mind if I use your laptop?

8. Just stick it in my box

7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag

6. I want it on my desk, NOW!

5. HMMMMMMMM...I think it's out of fluid

4. My equipment is so old; it takes forever to finish

3. It's any entry-level position

2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't...

1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!



10 WAYS TO TELL IF A
REDNECK
HAS BEEN WORKING ON A COMPUTER!


10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts stored in them.

6. The numerical keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Bubba".

4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.

3. There's a SKOAL can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

And the number one way to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer is.....

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".


Top Ten Signs Your Mom Is A NASCAR Fan

10 First Question She Asks Your Date: "Who's Your Favorite Driver?"
 9 Answering Machine Message: "Call Me Back When The Race Is Over."
 8 Once Got In A Fist Fight With Someone Who Said Nascar Wasn't A Real Sport
 7 The Hood Over Her Range Is Made From Sheet Metal From The 88 Car
 6 Her Proudest Moment When Teaching You How To Drive Was When You Learned How To Stick It Down In The Turns
 5 Comforter Across The Back Of Her Couch Has A Picture Of Dale Earnhardt's Face On It
 4 Her Mother Calls To Console Your Dad When Bill Elliott Wrecks
 3 You Can't Get In The Utility Room For All The Bottles Of Wisk
 2 Gives Directions Using International Drive In Daytona As The Starting Point
 ...And The Number One Sign Your Mom Is A Nascar Fan...
Picture Of The Grandkids Replaced By A Shot Of John Boy & Billy In The Giant Shopping Cart


Top Ten Signs You're At A Redneck Wedding
10. Rehearsal Dinner Held At Hooters
9. Instead Of "Friends Of The Bride Or Friends Of The Groom?" Ushers Ask
"Ford Or Chevy?"
8. Bridesmaids: Pink Tube Tops
Bridegrooms: Travis Tritt T-Shirts
7. Phrase "I Do" Replaced By
"I Heard That"
6. Tender Rendition Of "The Wedding Song"
Performed By Pinkard & Bowden
5. When Minister Asks Who Giveth This Woman To Be Married...
Some Guy In The Back Stands Up And Hollers
"Earnhardt!"
4. Reception Conversation Includes The Phrase
"So What Have You Been Doing Since Hee Haw, Mr. Lindsay?"
3. Snack Trays At Reception:
Vienna Sausages And Nacho Cheese Doritos
2. Plans For The Honeymoon Evening Include Tickets To The Monster Truck Show
...And The Number One Way To Tell If You're At A Redneck Wedding...
 Sign In Front Of The Church:
No Shirt...No Shoes...No Problem!


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