The following articles have had names
witheld.
(for obvious reasons)
Cobb County Ga.
You're a young lady working in a
convenience
store when a thug with a cloth over his
face
enters and pulls a gun.Suddenly you
recognize the
stick-up artist--it's your
DAD!!!
That's what
happened recently to a very
suprised clerk
working in a Cobb County, Ga.
convenience
store.
The honest woman
identified the
alleged robber,
(name witheld) 41,
for stunned
police.
Hi Pop!! Bye
Pop!!
Atlanta Ga.
Bad News for Georgia Family who use
mail-order catalogs for toilet
paper!!
The fact that more and more
mail-order firms
are going out of business comes as
quite a blow
to the (name witheld)family-because the
pages of the
catalogs are their sole source of toilet
paper!!
"They're sending us up the creek
without a
paddle,that's for sure,"(name
witheld),39 told
reporters who visited the family's farm
west of
here.
"We've relied on those catalogs all
our
lives
and now we're in a fix".
"You might think we're being
silly,but when it
comes to stock for the outhouse,those
catalogs
really are in a class by
themselves,"said (name
withheld),33.
"The pages have a special look and
feel
that
nobody can duplicate".
"Toilet paper might be soft,but it
can't hold a
candle to the pages of a good
mail-order
catalog." "I'd know the difference
blindfolded".
As soon as the (name witheld) heard
that
mail-order
firms were closing,they sprang into
action,driving
to not one but three different showrooms
in the
Atlanta area-and stocking up on 53
leftover
catalogs.
"We go through 20 to 25 a year with
guests and
all,and we figure that the 53 we were
able to get
will last two years at least. After
that,we'll just
have to do the best we can.The worst
thing about
this is that it's the end of a long
tradition.My
parents and grandparents used mail-order
catalogs
before I did and it's a habit I've tried
to pass
along to my son.He's 9 now and by the
time he's
11,all our catalogs will be gone
forever".
Talk about Family Tradition!!!!
Who cares about crime, pollution and
taxes when
there are important issues like grocery
bags to
worry about?
Georgia State Rep. Dorthy Pelote is
outraged
that supermarket employees
sometimes
--gasp!--lick their fingers to open
bags, so she is
calling for a device at all bagging
stations to help
dampen digits.
It's the healthy thing to do, she
says. A state
health official agrees. Cuts down
on germs,
don'tcha know.
Thank heaven the good folks of
Georgia have
Pelote on the job watching out for their
health.
OUTRAGED GEORGIA'S NOT TO FOND OF
FONDA
Outspoken actress Jane Fonda has put
her foot
in it again--this time likening her
adopted
home state of Georgia to a Third World
country where
children are dying of hunger on the
streets.
Fonda, who lives in a plush Atlanta
penthouse
with billionaire husband
Ted Turner,
made her boo-boo at a U.N. hearing on
overpopulation.
"In the northern part of Georgia
children are
starving to death. People live in
tar-paper
shacks with no indoor plumbing and so
forth," Fonda
said.
"It's what makes working in Georgia
very
interesting because we are, in some
ways, like some
developing countries."
Jane also said,"Georgia has one of
the
lowest
rates of adults that have
graduated from
high school."
The angry reaction of state leaders
including
an
outraged Gov. Zell Miller,
forced
Fonda--whose husband has extensive
business interest
in the state including his CNN
headquarters-- to
apoligize for her remarks.
"I was wrong. I should not have said
what I
said. My comments were inaccurate and
ill-advised,"
Fonda said.
Do you think she would like to join our
club..HAHAHAHA
Columbus, Ga.
Mark Stevels, 6, may be a little
shaver--but
he's
already working as a hairstylist.
The scissor-toting tot can shampoo a
client,
snip out a high-fashion
"do" and blow
dry a head of hair as well as any pro
four times his
age. The boy has five regular customers
in his
grandpa's shop and gets loads of
compliments on his
work.
Little Mark reports to his
granddad's salon
every afternoon and puts in three hours
work before
his mom takes him home for dinner at
night. He
greets customers, washes their hair and
seats them
in the barber chair for his grandfather
to work on.
Once a week or so, one of his own
customers
comes in and the first grader rolls up
his sleeves
and gets to work. He climbs up on a
stool for a
better view of his client, the scissors
snip and the
clippers whir -- and presto! A perfect
haircut.
Mark doesn't have a license yet, so he
can't charge
for the haircuts. But he hopes , one
day, to have
his own swank haircutting
salon.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM -- HE WAS MY
ACCOMPLICE!
An man burst into a Milledgeville,
Georgia
convenience store, announced a robbery,
and began
grabbing everything he could get his
hands on.
Unable to hold any more in his arms, the
thief told
the clerk to get him some boxes. After
filling the
boxes, the holdup man ordered the clerk
to help him
carry the loot home.
When the pair arrived at the
thief's house
a
short distance away, he told the
clerk "Okay,
you go back to the store now." The clerk
returned to
the store, called police, and took them
straight
back to the house where they arrested
the
suspect.
LIKE THE REALTORS SAY: LOCATION IS
EVERYTHING
A thief in Forsyth, Georgia heaved a
brick
through the window of a clothing store
and grabbed
$600 worth of designer shirts.
What Mr. Smash-And-Grab apparently
didn't
know was that the store was two
doors down from a law enforcement supply
store,
where a group of off-duty cops were
finishing a
hand-to-hand combat class. They were on
the scene in
seconds.
As the suspect screamed "let go of
me!" a
pair
of cops held him down while
another
officer returned to the store and
brought back a
pair of handcuffs.
Said one officer: "I think I would
have
picked
a better place to break in
than next
door to a jujitsu training class." After
confessing
to the robbery -- which was also
captured on video
-- the suspect turned to one of the
officers and
said "Damn, that was
stupid.
MAUSOLEUM OWNERS RENTING EMPTY TOMBS
TO LOW-INCOME
Mausleum living has caught on here
and in
other
major cities, including Boston, New
York, Chicago,
Los Angeles and Dallas.
"Many landlords won't rent to people
with
children",said Greg Diebreck of Atlanta,
who rents
his family mausoleum to a couple with a
5-year old
son.
"They had hit some hard times
financially and
weren't able to put together enough
money for the
security deposit and two months' rent
most
apartments require. I made them a deal
they couldn't
get anywhere else."
Micheal and Andrea Daban and their
5-year
old
son Paul say they are happy to
live in
Diebreck's oversized crypt for $100 a
month.
"It's better than being out on the
street",
Andrea pointed out.
GOOD LUCK -- YOU CRAZY
KIDS!
A Valdosta, Georgia man told
sheriff's
deputies
he was beaten up by his
wife -- on
their wedding day.
The man said his wife had attacked
him after he
tried to keep her from driving
under the
influence after their wedding reception.
Investigating officers say the man had
four bite
marks on his arm, cuts on his face and
scalp, and a
black eye. No charges were
filed.
I HEARD THE GEORGIA DAWGS WERE TOUGH,
BUT...
A Cordelle, Georgia policeman
stopped a
vehicle
for weaving on the roadway.
The driver
gave the officer permission to search
the car, but
during the search, the man fled the
scene. The
suspect thought he had gotten away,
until a small
black-and-white dog started chasing
him.
The man ran through some bushes and
jumped
over a fence to escape the dog, and
found
himself in a pen with a large
Rotweiller. Narrowly
escaping from the second dog, the man
resumed his
running, but was attacked again, by what
he
described as a "big old brown dog."
Police arrested the hapless fugitive
and
charged him with illegal possession of a
firearm,
driving with a revoked license, and
obstruction of
an officer.
How bout them Dawgs!!!!
JERRY SPRINGER'S PROBABLY ALREADY TRYING
TO BOOK
THIS BUNCH
Americus, Georgia police were called
to the
scene of a domestic disturbance. They
found a
22-year-old man who says he became upset
when his
61-year-old grandmother wouldn't buy him
car
insurance. The man had expressed his
anger by
pulling down his pants and shaking his
private parts
at her. Granny responded by punching the
man in the
mouth and choking him.
The man says that during the
dispute, his
22-year-old aunt also struck him. The
man, the
grandmother, and the aunt were all
arrested and
charged with disorderly
conduct.
BET HE HAS TROUBLE FINDING THE TV REMOTE
TOO
A Conyers, Georgia man who bought a
used
Mercedes convertible then reported it
stolen found
out that the car was equipped with one
extra
accessory he didn't know about: a LoJack
anti-theft
tracking device.
When police activated the
device...they were
able to quickly track the car down: it
was parked in
the man's basement...along with 3 other
cars that
had recently been reported
stolen.
Rockford -- A TV news crew is doing a
live interview
with a guy, going on-and-on about under-
aged
drinkers from his perch on a stool at a
local
watering hole. Well, one of the people
watching the
news that night was a police detective
that thought
this guy looked very familiar. Sure
enough, it was
the same guy wanted for murder in
Georgia. He was
busted.
PENIS CENSORSHIP RAMPANT IN
MEDIA
ATLANTA (Wireless Flash)
A medical reporter at the Atlanta
Journal &
Constitution says it's time for the
media to grow up
when it comes to stories about the male
sexual
organ.
Reporter Diane Lore says many
newspaper and
magazine editors need to get over
their fears
about using the word "penis" or printing
realistic
diagrams of the male organ which are
needed to
educate readers about male health
problems.
Lore says the hullabaloo over Viagra
and
the increased interest in prostate
cancer
demands that medical reporters stop
mincing words
and censoring pictures when talking
about the penis.
Most publications reporting on
Viagra
tried to explain how the
drug works by
using
bizarre representations for the penis
including
arrows, lightning bolts or even a happy
face.
Lore says that only leads to
confusion
because
men need to see a realistic drawing of
the
penis to really understand how Viagra
works.
In her words, "...the more honest
newspapers get,
the better we get."
CONTACT: Diane Lore, ****; Atlanta, GA;
(404)
***-****
More coming soon!!!
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