Here is a little survey I found, cut and paste it in an e-mail and send it to me, ok? Oh yeah, if anything offends, i'm sorry, but keep in mind, it's only a joke, e-mail if you would like to tell me what you found offensive.
************* APPLICATION TO BECOME A HARDCORE HICK**************
Name:_______________________________________________________________
Nickname:___________________________ CB Handle:____________________
Address (RFD):______________________________________________________
Daddy (if unknown afix list of 3 suspects):_________________________
Neck size:____ [] Light Red [] Medium Red [] Dark Red [] Other
Number of teeth exposed in full grin:_______ Upper:_____ Lower:____
Make of Pickup:_________________________ Tire Size:_________________
Hounds:_____________ Type: [] Blue Tick [] Beagle [] Black and Tan
Length of right leg:__________ Length of left leg:__________
other:_________
How many cars/makes in front yard? _________________________________
How many on blocks? ________________________________________________
How many kitchen appliances on front porch? ________________________
back porch? _________________________
When and where was your last "Elvis" sighting? _____________________
____________________________________________________________________
Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags? [] Yes [] No
Are you married to any of the following? (circle all that apply)
-Sister -Cousin -Cousin's Sister
-Other, Explain:____________________________________________________
Have you EVER had more than one bath a week?
[] No [] Yes, Explain:___________________________________________
*Medical Information*
Do you have at least two (2) of the following: [] B.O. [] Lice
[] Bad Breath [] Hoof in Mouth [] Scabs [] Fleas
[] Infected Tatoos [] Crossed eyes [] Runny Nose [] Green Teeth
[] Yellow Teeth [] Any Teeth [] Speach Impediment
*General Information*
Can you count past 20 without stripping? [] yes [] no [] never
tried
Favorite Weapon: [] Tire Iron [] Pick Handle
[] Log Chain [] Shotgun
Favorite Pastime: [] Drinkin' [] Coon Huntin' [] Fishin' [] Fuedin'[] Other
Truck equipped with: [] Gun Rack [] Fuzzbuster [] 8-Track
[] Rebel Flag [] Roll Bar [] C.B. Radio
[] Beer Cans [] Squirrel Tail [] Bull Horns
Favorite Vocalist: [] Elvis (the young Elvis)
[] Elvis (the old Elvis)
[] Elvis (dead)
Cap Emblems: [] John Deere [] CAT [] SKOAL [] Budweiser
[] Bud Dry [] Jack Daniels [] Teamsters local
Merberships: [] NRA [] VFW [] KKK [] 700 Club
[] B.P.O.E. [] Sine-aid Society
Do you vote? [] Yes [] No [] What's that?
Have you ever been in jail? [] Yes [] No [] Born there
Your Signature (one X will do):____________________________Date:_____
