Traute was blessed with many, many web pages with actual, useful Real Knowledge. Ruth Anne and I both wanted a web page and we talked many times about starting to think about beginning to consider the possibility of learning That Foreign Language With No Real Name. However, we kept putting it off until cold weather when we couldn't garden and then when winter was upon us, it was too cold and too bleak and too dreary and too depressing to start thinking about beginning to consider the possibility of learning That Foreign Language With No Real Name.

One day as I was innocently and beautifully sitting around the castle waiting for the White Knight to compose my web page, Ruth Anne's Faery Godmother (or was it an Angel[a]?) granted Ruth Anne's fondest wish and gave Ruth Anne HER OWN WEB PAGE. Being a shy, retiring person, Ruth Anne whispered news of the miracle to a few hundred of her closest friends and they raced off to see RUTH ANNE'S WEB PAGE and, lo and behold, it was beautiful.

As I wandered through her floral graphics, I was enthralled and, yes, I must admit -- I must confess, I was jealous. I mentioned to Ruth Anne that if she were going to maintain this beautiful creation, she was going to have to start thinking about considering the possibility of learning That Foreign Language With No Real Name and Ruth Anne became afraid. I might have vaguely inferred that the little green god of jealousy had taken possession of me but whoever heard of a beautiful, innocent princess who was green and so I spoke falsely. (Go along with me here. It's my story.)

In her infinite wisdom, Traute came forth and bespoke these words of comfort, "Go ye to Angelfire.com. Ye too can have a web page. Ye are not an idiot." Armed with her words of courage, I took my beautifulness and my innocentness and ventured off into that unknown Land With No Real Name. And here's what I came back with.

[Here's the green guy.]

So take heart, dear listeners, and heed my tale. If you don't want to get stuck with a little green guy on your front page, here's what I suggest.

	Think up a name for your page because that's the first thing they're going to want and you're stuck with that name FOREVER.
	Next, clean out your computer's cache files because this stuff fills it up quickly and you will soon find yourself in NeverNeverLand where no computer can safely go.
	Go to Angelfire.com and "Register". They'll e-mail you a code immediately.
	Use the code to "Login".
	You are now faced with a screen that tells you that you have a page named "index.html" and do you want to Edit or Advance Edit. This is your First Page. Don't do anything to it yet. If you look on the right-hand side, you'll see a small empty box where you create new pages.
	I highly suggest that you write in "page2.html" and then hit "Edit". This creates a second page that you can play with and learn what you're doing and not be stuck with a little green guy on your front page and later have to blow up the entire Internet when you try to rename your first page, followed by e-mails from the Webmaster that tell you you've destroyed your directories, as if you knew what a directory was.
	If you do the basic editor, you get to play around and fill in the blanks and take a multiple-choice test, and Angelfire does all the hard work for you. Voila! When you go to the bottom of the page, you can View or Submit. Your page is still not hooked up, so you can play all you want without embarrassing yourself in front of the entire world.
	Play and have some fun. There are directions that tell you how to get the cute things on your page from Angelfire's home page. You don't have to know That Foreign Language With No Real Name as long as you stay in Basic Edit.

So, go, and, hark, ye shall have a web page. And come back in a few days. Unless I blow up my computer again, I'm going to be working on that ancient tradition of "Cut & Paste -- Or How to Make Your Page Look Like You Know What You're Doing Even If You Don't." And some things about "COLOR" because that's the fun part.

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