Southern Charms and Other Junk

Flowers

Growing Up Southern - A Collection of Short Stories
(and some perfectly useless ramblings)


       Come on in and sit a spell. I'm just rambling and you're more than welcome to listen in. Grab a rocking chair and help yourself to the sweet tea. The mosquito spray is right there next to the Oreos.

If you don't like this page, don't blame me.

You can blame dicken for getting me started writing in the first place and now I can't shut up.

You can blame Hillary for keeping me going with her generous advice and expertise and her promise that I won't run out of ideas.

And you can blame Jean for her loving encouragement and genuine support.

This page is dedicated to my friends Jean, Hillary and dicken and if you have any complaints about it, feel free to e-mail them.


Simply click on the buttons and head South.

          The Tree "Calling a meeting in the 50's in a small neighborhood in the middle of the South wasn't the organizational phenomena it became in the business world of the 80's. There were no hors d'oeuvres unless you count 1/2 piece of Juicy Fruit and a fireball with the red already sucked off."
          Charlie Dean and the Kudzu Patch "Their armies would fight around us and we'd pay them back by eating Oreos in front of them and not sharing. It was called a draw -- we wouldn't tell on them for messing up our playhouse and they couldn't tell us on for not sharing."
          The Great Pound Cake Feud "Modern Southern feuds are carried on with words instead of buckshot, where a back-handed compliment cuts deeper than a saber and honey coats the knife in your back. It's an art."
          Thin Mints "We were excited. These woods must be really something wonderful -- we only had black snakes in our woods and they were promising water mocassins."
          Miss Boo "If Mama sent us to the store, it was "Bring back the change." If Mama Rinza sent us to the store, it was "Get yourself a little something with the change." That's the main difference between mothers and grandmothers, then and today."
          The Shower "Mama had promised we wouldn't stay long and we'd already been there forever".
          Hub Knows the Way "Country Lee was another one who never married and ate at his mama's every day at lunch. He didn't live in a shack like Hub, though. He lived in a barn which was a considerable step up because he had room for a pool table in his living room."
          Correspondence "She's dreaming of bridal veils and I'm thinking chicken manure."
          Unmet Friends Silence drops from the foyer's high ceiling to boomerang from wall to wall, bounce off oaken floors and wind upward along the circling stair.
          He Gets Out Tomorrow "Southerners are only rude to their families and closest friends. I had been courteous to a saleman who dared to call while I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 20 people."



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To read stories by other Southern writers, go to Nick Barnes' collection at
The Henhouse Literary Journal



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Email: mhuston@bellsouth.net