Charles Darwin revolutionized the world with his theories on evolution. Survival of the fittest, he said. So where the hell did we go wrong? Every single day I cross paths with at least 10 people who are certainly not the fittest. Back in the days of cavemen and saber-toothed tigers, if you weren’t quick, fast and strong, you certainly weren’t passing on your genes to future generations. But nowadays the world is filled with regulations and laws that are indirectly insuring that the weak and the idiotic are going to dilute our gene pools forever.

What can be done? I say, let’s get rid of everything that’s protecting them. For example, take the seat belt laws. Don’t get me wrong, I fully support regulations for minors under the age of 18, but adults should have the right to choose whether or not they wear a seatbelt. If some idiot doesn’t buckle her seatbelt and breaks her neck flying through the windshield when she runs into a post at 30 miles an hour, guess what: the gene pool is better off. I may offend some people, sure, but so be it.

Let’s not stop there: get rid of fences surrounding cliffs and waterfalls. Let the idiots kill themselves. Say it with me: LET THE IDIOTS KILL THEMSELVES. The weak are far too pampered in our society. We need to once again embrace the teachings of Darwin. If we don’t start thinning the herd soon, we might want to go ahead and build an ark so that we don’t drown in the massive ocean of drool the babbling imbeciles will create.

I’m aware that I am only a few steps away from ordering the systematic assassination of everyone deemed unintelligent. But that’s just not right. I say let nature take it’s course. But don’t get in nature’s way. Some people weren’t meant to be on this earth, and I’m not about to get in the way of destiny. I really wish there was some way to get rid of stupid kids, but getting rid of the people that spawn them is the only way I can feel good about.

Devolve