"Jennifer! Get off that newspaper!" shouted Jennyanydots's human. She pretended she didn't hear. She was having a wonderful dream about Garfield. The human sighed, picked her up, and put her outside. Jenny blinked, then went back to sleep.
"Oh Jennyanydots! Wake up! Jemima, the world's cutest kitten is here!" said Jemima kiddingly. She and Jenny joked with each other about being Garfieldette and Nermal, since she was so cute.
Jennyanydots opened her eyes and stared in surprise at what she saw and felt. Jemima looked even cuter than she did normally, and Jenny found her quite irritating. Why had she never noticed before that she was so cutsy? "Oh goody," she said sarcastically. "The world's cutest kitten is here. We can all rejoice. Now go away, I'm trying to sleep."
Jemima looked like she had just been scratched when she expected a nuzzle. Starting to cry, she ran for the junkyard.
"What's with her? It's not like I mailed her to Abu Dhabi or something. Though that might not be a bad idea." Jenny was startled at her thoughts. "I love Jemima! Why would I want to send her to Abu Dhabi?" she thought. A Garfield comic came into her thoughts for an answer. "Because she's so little, young, and cute, and I'm so old, fat, and ugly." Once again she was surprised. "I'm not that old, fat, and ugly! Am I?" Mumbling to herself, she headed for the junkyard to apologize.
^^^^^^
"Jemima? Jemima, where are you?" called Jennyanydots. "Come out, you little nusiance!"
There was a gasp from inside a box. Jenny gasped herself. "How could I call her a nusiance? That's not like me! Jemima? I'm sorry, dearie, I didn't mean it..."
"Go away! I want to be alone! I...I..." Jemima said from her box, then started crying again. "Why are you being so mean to me, Jenny? I thought you liked me!"
"I do like you, Jemima, and I don't know why I'm being mean to you. I really don't mean it! I wouldn't hurt you on purpose for anything!"
"Telling me to go away and calling me a nusiance sure sounds like it's on purpose. I think you've been reading too much Garfield. You're starting to sound like him...even when we pretended to be Garfieldette and Nermal you weren't like this...you were always nice, at least!"
Part of Jennyanydots felt sorry for the kitten, and wondered how she could be so cruel, but another part kept whispering to mail her to Abu Dhabi. She succumbed to the whisper. "Jemima, you are simply too cute. I can't have you running around here all the time! Stay in that box, cutie-pie."
The sarcasm and cruelty of the cutie-pie was too much for Jemima. As Jennyanydots went to get some tape and stamps, she climbed out of the box and scurried over to where Jellylorum and Gus were reminiscing.
^^^^^^
"Jellylorum? Can I talk to you for a minute?" said Jemima.
"Why, hello, Jemima. Of course you can talk, I'll be happy to listen. Bye the way, have you seen Jenny? She promised to meet me here around noon, and it's half-past now."
Tears filled Jemima's eyes. "That's what I want to talk to you about."
Seeing that it was something serious, Jellylorum said good-bye to Gus. "What's wrong, sweetie? Is she lost?"
Jemima sighed. "Not her body, but I think her mind might be. This morning when I came to visit her she told me to go away, and then she called me a nusiance, and now I think she's going to send me to Abu Dhabi!"
Jellylorum stared. "Abu Dhabi? You mean like Garfield does to Nermal?" Jemima nodded. "Do you think it could be a joke?"
"I don't think so. Her exact words to me before she left, probably to get stamps, were, 'Jemima, you are simply too cute. I can't have you running around here all the time! Stay in that box, cutie-pie.' And the way she said it...I never thought Jenny could be so mean."
Jellylorum was astonished. "I've known Jennyanydots all my life, and I've never heard her say an unkind word. There must be something wrong with her, and I'm going to find out."
^^^^^^
Jennyanydots had located tape and stamps by this time, so she went back to the box. "Jemima? Are you in there?" There was no answer, Jemima having run off to Jellylorum. "Oo, wait till I get my paws on you, you adorable freak of nature!" She stomped off in search of an Abu Dhabi bound kitten.
^^^^^^
"Jennyanydots! There you are! Where have you been?" said Jellylorum.
"Sorry, Jelly, can't talk now, I've got a kitten to mail!" was Jenny's strange reply.
"If you're refering to Jemima, she's right here with me, and both of us want an explanation for what you're doing."
Jemima peeked out from behing Jellylorum. "Yeah! Why are you sending me to Abu Dhabi? What did I do?" she asked.
"You're so cute it's disgusting. Cute is annoying. Cute is stupid. Cute means there's nothing in your head, it's all wasted on your face. And besides, what are kittens for if not being sent to Abu Dhabi?"
Jellylorum was aghast. "Jenny! I thought you loved kittens! And they love you! You're like a mother to most of them! How can suddenly turn so cruel? If you keep up like this, you'll end up as on of Macavity's agents!"
This brought Jennyanydot's back to her senses. "You're right! I don't know what got into me...Garfield!"
"Huh?" chorused Jemima and Jellylorum.
"I read about Garfield sending Nermal to Abu Dhabi, then went to sleep on top of the newspaper. Maybe Garfield came out of the paper and went in my brain..." Again, the whisper in her head became to strong for her to hold back. "Get in the box, Jemima! I'm sending you to Abu Dhabi!"
Jellylorum and Jemima exchanged looks. "We have to get her to Old Deuteronomy before she goes completely insane," Jelly whispered.
^^^^^^
"Okay. Let me get this straight. Jennyanydots. You want to sent Jemima to Abu Dhabi?" asked Old Deuteronomy. Jellylorum and Jemima had arrived with Jenny in tow and told him their story.
"Well, not really me, there's this voice in my head... Yes I do want to send her to Abu Dhabi! No kitten as cute as that should live in the junkyard! ...that keeps telling me to."
Old Deuteronomy looked solemn. "Either Garfield has somehow gotten into your brain or you have an extremely bad case of schizophrenia."
"Huh?"
"Split personalities, voices in your head, basically it means you're insane," said Jellylorum.
"I'm not insane, I just... Want to send Jemima to Abu Dhabi! ...hear a little voice in my head that sounds remarkably like Garfield." Jennyanydots sighed, thinking of her idol.
"If it really is Garfield in your brain, I'm going to forbid the reading of Garfield. With all our kittens, Abu Dhabi would be filled up in no time, " remarked Old Deuteronomy.
"I don't want to go to Abu Dhabi!" wailed Jemima.
"Don't worry, dear, I won't send you to... Yes I will! ...Abu Dhabi."
"Jennyanydots, lie down. I'm going to try to reach Garfield or whatever's in there," Old Deuteronomy said. Jenny lay down. Old Deuteronomy knelt beside her and spoke into her ear. "Garfield? Come out, Garfield. You aren't wanted here."
A fat orange cat with black stripes that seemed to be formed of mist floated out of Jenny's ear. "I was just trying to rid the world of cuteness," it said.
"Goodness! It's GARFIELD!" said Jenny. "Garfield, were you really in my brain?"
"Yup. I wanted to show you how to be more of a Gumboo. Gumboos aren't supposed to be nice to kittens and teach mice and cockroaches, we're supposed to sleep all day, and be nasty when we're awake."
Jennyanydots sighed. "So that's what's wrong. I'm not a Gumboo, I'm a Gumbie. Gumbies sleep all day and teach all night, and we love kittens."
"Oh. Well, I guess I should go back to the newspaper. John's probably adopted Nermal by now. Bye, Jenny. You're okay, for a Gumbie." With that, Garfield drifted towards Jennyanydots's house.
There was silence. Old Deuteronomy, Jellylorum, and Jemima were all too shocked to say anything. Finally, Jemima spoke. "Jenny? Does this mean I'm not going to Abu Dhabi?"
"Of course, Jemima. I would never do that to you. How would you like to come over to my place for some nice tuna? I think my human left some out, and I'd be happy to share. You too, Jelly."
The cats all smiled. This was the Gumbie they knew.
