Disclaimer: As much as I wish that I owned Angel, I don't neither do I own Buffy or Giles, Willow, Cordy, and Xander. They all belong to the Almighty Evil One, Joss Whedon, who has left us with a good season finale. I have no money. I'm just a poor, confused, and burdensome kid who just is obsessed with the show and the movie (Don't look at me like that! I loved the movie okay?).
Author's Notes: Beth, you're killing me with this thing. You keep stroking my ego. And I don't like it. Because I don't deserve it. I'm not a good writer yet I don't feel that bad about putting it out. It's not for everyone else. It's for me. I just want you all to see it. Anyway this came to me one day after Becoming prt2. I wanted the show to end differently and so I made them into a continuation one after another. I want all kinds of feedback. Tell me where you think it was weak and strong and what should have been added. Thanks for doing that. This is dedicated to my best friend Valerie who, along with Beth, tells me that it's great. Even if it's not, still, they're proud that I had the guts to show my work too all Buffy fans. Also thanks to Rebecca Carefoot who inspired to me as well. Her stories are great and I just couldn't stop reading them over and over again. And the song is called The End of the Beginning, by me. I wanted to write my own song to this while my creative juices were still flowing.
Buffy worked her way down the street towards Angel's place. It had been three days since he gotten his soul back. And she had been there everyday with him even skipping classes. She needed to comfort him, to let him know that everything was going to be okay. But there was a more important reason tonight for going to Angel's. She was going to take him to the library where her Watcher and the Slayerettes were.
Giles had called her earlier in the day to ask her to come and discuss something with them about a new demon. He had sounded urgent over the phone so she knew that it was important. She saw this as an opportunity for Angel to make his amends with all. Walking with a purpose, Buffy walked a little faster down the street. Suddenly she felt something following her. She stopped in her tracks and looked around. She saw no one.
Instead of continuing, she stood in her place and readied herself in fighting position. "I know that you vamps adore the long version of hide-and-go-seek, but lets just cut it to the short version. You know where you come out try to kill me but instead I kick your butt."
A low growl came out of nowhere and then a body coming out of the shadows. The vampire smiled. Obviously, he thought that he had a better chance at the slayer than anyone else. "They told me that you were witty. But in the end your wit helps you none. It only makes it easier for me to kill you." He came closer to the slayer as she stood ready to step up to the challenge.
"You know, it would be a lot more exciting if you vamps came up with new lines. Not that I would be anymore impressed but you know it makes the brawl more fun."
The vampire just smiled and tried to kick her but she was too quick and grabbed his led twisting it around. He screamed in agony and fell to the ground. She then picked him up and smashed his head into the brick building.
"This was almost too easy. Nice try though. Send my love to Spike," she said as she plunged the stake into his heart. Buffy sighed and started to walk again. "Another night on the Hellmouth. Why can't I ever go somewhere in peace?"
*******
Angel paced slowly across the room. Buffy was 15 minutes late. Maybe she was just fixing her hair or maybe she was hunting. Or maybe she just decided that it was too soon for us to see each other. Angel winced at this. In his heart though, he understood. He felt as if they needed time too. No Buffy said that she was ready, and when she says she's ready that means she is. I hope she's okay. I can't lose her now. I need her.
Angel pushed thoughts of doubt and worries out of his mind. He needed to stop being impatient. What did Buffy want to tell him though? She said that she needed to tell him something and that she would be over later on that night. Again Angel feared the worst. She probably realized that this was all a big mistake. She wanted to break it off with him. No, No, No! That's not it. Okay, just calm down and don't think about it. Don't jump to conclusions or anything. Just be patient and wait.
There was a soft knock on the door. Angel walked over the door and hesitated. Whatever it is that she was going to say, he could take it. He slowly opened the door. Buffy didn't even say hello; she walked right in and passionately kissed him. He didn't respond at first, then slowly but surely his tongue gently touched hers.
After about three minutes of groping and kissing, he finally broke apart. "Hello," he said with a sly smile, "to you too. I wouldn't mind this kind of welcoming all the time."
Buffy giggled and then hugged him tightly then let him go. "I've been wanting to do that for a long time now." Angel became serious again.
"I thought you were coming over to tell me that it was over and that it wasn't working for you." Buffy looked down to the ground and then up at Angel.
"How could you think that? I have you now and I'm never letting you go. Ever. But whether you want to hear what I do have to say is up to you. Either way we're doing this."
Angel blinked a couple of times. He hoped that she was implying what he was thinking she was implying. "No Buff-"
"Angel your mind, what is in there sometimes? I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about us going to the library. Giles told me he has something to tell me and I want you to come with me."
Angel swallowed down a choke. Was she serious? Did she really think that they would all just laugh what he did off and take him out for a glass of martinis? "No Buffy, I don't think so."
Buffy closed her eyes and screamed, "Why not! Huh? I told you yesterday what they said about you always being welcomed. They know what went down and they know it wasn't you. So what's the problem?"
Angel hated to see her angry with him. But he couldn't deal with it. Not now. He looked down at the floor. "No Buffy I don't think so. Not right now." Buffy slapped him in the face causing Angel to let out a low growl. He was about to kill her for doing that but he just broke down instead.
"Why does everything have to be so hard for you? Why can't you accept that things are not your fault? Why can't you just stop hating yourself for one minute?" She kneeled down to the floor and touched his face. His eyes refused to meet hers.
"No Buffy I don't think so. It wou-"
"What is with you vampires? You have to repeat everything over and over and over and over again like I'm stupid! I'm not. Now say something else!" Buffy shouted as she lifted his face to look at his eyes.
Angel pushed her away. "I hurt them and I don't want them to look at me with hate because it hurts me to know what I did. I hate that they helped me knowing what I did to Jenny and Giles and Willow. And I hate what I did to you! I'm an animal that doesn't deserve to live. You should have...you should have killed me when you had the chance to. It would have been better than this."
Tears welled up in Buffy's eyes. She knew that he was dealing with some major issues, but she didn't know how deep they were. She didn't know how hurt he was. "Angel look at me. Angel, come on. Look at me." Slowly he lifted his eyes to meet her gaze.
"Angel get over this. They don't hate you and... I don't hate you. I love you with everything I have. You have to come and deal with this. Remember? I told you that we could handle it. As long as we have each other then we can get through this. I know we can." Angel couldn't believe this. She was so amazing. How did she become so strong after all that had happened between them? How did she do it?
"I love you. And I'll do it for you. But if they don't want me aro-"
Angel was once again cut off by Buffy as she pulled him closer to her and gave him a hard kiss. This time he didn't hesitate. He responded back with all of his strength.
He loved the way she treated him. The way she just would forget about all that had happened to him. Or not forget about it even. The way she accepted and moved on.
Buffy reluctantly pulled herself away from him and got up. "Okay? Let's do this. And I promise you that it will be cool. I'm not saying the first few minutes won't be awkward but it will get better." Angel nodded and they walked out of his apartment both holding each other and thinking their own thoughts. But the fact that they were together meant everything to the both of them. This time they could never come apart.
*******
Buffy walked in the library. She looked around and to see where Angel was and saw he wasn't there. She looked out into the hall and saw him standing there. She grabbed him by the hands without saying a word. They walked in with Buffy leading.
Cordelia looked up first and smiled. "Hi Buffy. Angel, haven't seen you around lately. And why are you standing behind Buffy like that? Is it because you spilled something on your clothes? Because that happened to me once wh-" Willow poked her in the ribs before she can say anything else.
Willow smiled up at Angel. "Hi Angel glad to have you back on our side. We all missed you."
Xander rolled his eyes and said, "Well I didn't," just loud enough for Angel to hear him. Cordy slapped in him on the head. "What?" Xander asked with innocent eyes.
Giles finally spoke up. "Good evening Angel. Willow's right. We could use your help right now. Welcome back." Angel nodded grimly.
Cordelia took one look into Angel's eyes and rolled her eyes. The silence and tension in the room was so thick, that it had to be cut with a knife. Once again she rolled her eyes as Angel cast a loot to the floor.
"Angel you are pathetic. First of all I want to say that you turning bad on us wasn't great but personally I think that we all grew stronger from that experience. Look at it this way, Sunnydale finally got exciting. I mean we could all have used something new in our lives. It was getting old watching you two gawking day in and day out and worrying over each other," Cordelia said half angry and half annoyed at the vampire for acting the way he was. She continued on ranting.
"Since you have your soul, there's no need to re-live the weirdness. I don't ever want Sunnydale to get that exciting again. I respect you a hell of a lot more than I did. That demon must have been hard to fight for 80 years. You're a hell of a lot stronger than we all thought you were. Keeping it in check for so long just makes me want to hand you a medal. Last, get over it and deal with the fact that it wasn't your fault. You had a happy but it's not like you and Buffy knew. I don't even think it's you fault for the whole Jenny thing." Cordelia finally finished. Then she pulled out a card and gave it to Angel.
If you ever feel depressed call me up and we can go shopping. That's what I do when I get depressed about dating Xan..." Xander glared at Cordelia. "Forget that last part. Anyway, that's all I have to say so you can take my advice or you can leave it."
Everyone stared at Cordelia like they had never seen her before. "Hey I can be deep too."
Angel smiled slightly and stared at the gang. "Thanks Cordelia. I needed that."
Giles looked at Cordelia. "Have you ever heard about tact and minding your own business? Although I must agree with Cordelia. It was hard for me first, but I realized that you were two different people."
"And haven't you ever listened to me when I told you that tact is just saying stuff that's not true?" she asked not willing to let the comment slide for one moment. "Besides, this is my business. All you ever do is moan about me not being deep and understanding. No one wants to sit here and watch Buffy mope about Angel who's moping around about her and avoiding her. I live in this town too and I have to hear about it just like everyone else."
This time all faces went on Xander. Everyone else said that they were ready to move on and they were waiting for him to say something. He looked at the bookcases and whistled a tune and then looked at the group again.
"What? Stop looking at me like that. I already forgave him in my own way. I made a smart comment about him. If I didn't forgive him I would have just ignored him. I mean I know that everyone likes to drool over you and make sure you're feeling better about yourself, but as far as I'm concerned they need to kill you. Dead don't belong here alive with the living."
This time both his best friend and girlfriend smacked him. Angel smiled coyly, he knew that all was well with Xander. "Thanks". Xander just gave him a thumbs up sign while glaring at him icily.
Giles motioned for Buffy and Angel to sit down. Angel walked over and pulled out the chair. Buffy sat on his lap and spoke up for the first time since they had walked in. "Now Giles what did you call us here for?"
"We're done."
Buffy and Angel looked at each other and then the rest of them.
"Well I called everyone here so that we could do this. I knew that Angel wouldn't come if he knew that it was only to see us. It had to be about something about Buffy or anything pertaining to the Hellmouth. So we told you enough so that you would feel you should tell Angel. You'd go on about coming to make amends and what have you and how it would be good for everyone. I assumed that he put up a fight about it but caved in at the last minute. Something he wouldn't have done if he knew what it was really about."
Angel broke out in a wide grin. "Looks like you guys know me pretty well. But...seriously, thank you for this. I didn't want to come here tonight. I know that I hurt you a lot but I don't want it to feel as if I'm forcing you to forgive me because of Buffy."
"No," Willow said as she stood up and walked over to Angel. "I don't forgive you." Buffy looked at her about to be ex-best friend, icily and Angel stopped smiling. He knew that no one was going to just welcome him with open arms. But before anyone else could say anything she spoke again.
"I don't forgive you because you didn't do anything wrong for me to have to forgive you. It was someone else. They know that and I know that. Besides, if Buffy is able to then we should be able to too." Angel smiled again. Willow hugged him. Angel didn't return the hug back and then Willow said, "Well aren't you going to hug me back?" Buffy broke out in a wide grin again.
Finally, he put his arms around Willow hugging her tight. She was such a good friend of Buffy's and that meant that she was a good friend to him as well. Finally they released from each other and he kissed her on the cheek causing Willow to blush. "You're a great friend."
*******
Buffy and Angel walked hand and hand down the streets of Sunnydale that led them to his house. Buffy looked up at the stars and then at Angel.
"Was that so bad? Aren't you glad that you went?" Angel nodded somberly, "Yeah, but still I know that they don't trust me. How could they after what I did to them?"
Buffy looked at him sternly. "I know. I'm doing that thing where I keep brooding no matter how much things turn out to be great. But what can I say, after a hundred years of guilt, it kind of grows on you."
Buffy sighed. "Angel, how many times do I have to tell you to let go. The soul is fixed for life we can be together, nothing is keeping us apart. They trust you because I trust you and they trust me so I trust them to trust you too and us."
Angel glanced at her and scratched his head. "What?" Buffy smiled and reached in for a kiss that had caught him off guard, this time he responded. Angel pulled back and smiled. "I get it now."
They continued their walk and finally stopped at his apartment. They made out for a couple of more minutes and finally stopped. Buffy glanced at her watch. "I should probably...come in you know, my job says to protect and all."
Angel smiled slightly. "I think you should probably go home and get in the bed. You have school. I think I'll be able to handle anything. You need to be home anyway ore you'll mother will kill me."
Angel kissed her on the nose and closed the door. Buffy walked over to the Exit sign and pulled out a bookbag and sleeping back and camped out on the floor. "You have no idea how I wish I could go home. But when you're told to never come back, that's kind of hard. I just hope I don't get caught anytime soon."
The road back home is tough When you feel like no one is there You feel like you're not enough And no one even cares You feel like you can't be trusted Because you've done so many things wrong The wheels on your bike are rusted Maybe it's a sign to move on
Bridge: What do you do when you have strayed Away from who you are You pray the prayers that many have prayed But you don't seem to make it far
Chorus: Never looking back at the past You seem to come to an ending And life just seems to go by so fast And you find yourself stuck at the beginning...again
The sky is clouded and heavy With the tear drops from your face As you hop in to your Chevy And drive away from this place
The world seems like it never turns When you're having a good time But the world has to spin like the sun has to burn And slowly the bell will chime
Bridge II: You can't escape the emptiness inside So come out from the rain They tell me you can run but never hide Let me help you ease the pain
Chorus: Never looking back at the past You seem to come to an ending And life just seems to go by so fast And you find yourself stuck at the beginning...again
What do you do when you have strayed Away from who you are You pray the prayers that many have prayed But you don't seem to make it far
Chorus: Never looking back at the past You seem to come to an ending And life just seems to go by so fast And you find yourself stuck at the beginning...again