Meanwhile in another small conference room in the same mental health clinic...
Chris: I just woke up and one day realized that I didn't need Pixie Sticks 24 7. i realized that I could get high off another drug... and do you guys know what that is?
Little Timmy jenkins in the 1st row: What?
Chris: Life.
Meanwhile..in next room upstairs...
Group Leader:OK everyone I am your group leader
Lance: And... and???
Group Leader: No lance... sit back down. We are here to discuss this problem. you have to introduce yourself..but you CANNOT say where your from..got it?
Lance: I shall try. Hi... My name is Lance and-- and---
Group: No lance dont say it!
Lance: and I'm a fun guy
Group applauds
yay!
Lance: andImfromMississippi!
Group Leader: Lance, before you start to say "and I'm from Mississippi" trying counting to ten..
Lance: Okay... Hi. I'm Lance and...and...
The tension fills the room....
and...one...
Mississippi, 2 mississippi...
Nooooo!!! can't...escape!!!!
must...say...where...from...remind...fans...
At the same time across the hall in room 229...
JC: Oh my heavens.. please sir, please don't make me...
Director Guy: But, JC, it's the only way..
JC: Please.. I beg of you...
Director: JC, you must...
JC: But... but... I won't sleep ever again. I'll take back all my pillows I bought at Martha Stewart's White Sale to KMArt... I promise...
Director Guy: But JC you have to prove yourself..
JC: But, is it absolutely necessary to watch Waterworld???
Dir Guy: Yes my child.
JC: And not fall asleep??
Dir. Guy: It must be done.
At the same time, Joey is in room 230 with other people who are also obsessed with Jell-o
Joey: And I want a BIIIG huge pool of it right in my back yard...
The group leaders whisper to each other
Group Leader 1: Should I get the straightjacket?
Group Leader 2: No... let's have fun first...
Group Leader 2: Hey Joey, what's your favorite food?
Joey: J-e-ll-o!
GL1: HA HA HA... and your favorite color?
Joey: Y-e-ll-o!
GL2: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
Back to Chris...
Chris: Okay okay... so we have established the three main causes of your addiction to pixy sticks..
Chris: 1) Youre bored
Chris: 2) Your band mates get more attention than you because youre the "old one"... so you have to be the "crazy one" cuz who wants to be called the old one? I sure don't...
Little Jenny Feldman in the 1st row: Mr. Kirkpatrick, what was that?
Chris: Oh, your fate is your contention that you need to fold one and you like daisies and so you don't fold one...
little Jenny feldman: That makes no sense.
Chris: Right, your addiction makes no sense...
Chris: 3) Your parents never told you the dangers ....
and when faced with a dealer on the street.. you cant turn away....
sure all your friends say "just say no"
but have they ever been in that situation? huh? have they? have they?
ill tell you if they have... no they havent
nd ill be damned if theyll ever know the how good it felt when i...uh i mean, you, took your first hit off ten orange pixy sticks..
Little Ralphie in the first row: (by the way, I'm pretty sure there is only one row) Mr. kirkpatrick, youre scaring me...
Chris: or the hurt i felt when the other guys found my secret stash... i knew i shouldnt have tried to get jc hooked but i needed the money and he needed to stop sleeping already... justin was spending soo much of it on expensive jewelry...
and making me buy clothes so i looked good... but i was damn fine in my camaflogued overalls i tell ya...
(sappy music starts to play)and i knew that even if the fans didnt like me for who i really am... the pixie sticks do... (adam sandler voice) pixxtiiee sticks...sooooo sweet....soooo sugary...soooo sweet...damnit billy gimme a pixie stick
Billy: but sir..
Chris: GIMME THE DAMN RED ONE!
Chris: Oh youve won this time... you sure have pixie sticks... but ill be back...(evil laugh... broo ha ah abroooo ha ha ha ha!! Okay, class dismissed....
Back to Joey...
Group Leader 1: Favorite instrument?
Joey: C-e-ll-o
Group Leader 2: Wait, my turn my turn... What do you say when you see someone you know?
Joey: H-e-ll-o...
And Justin is in the psych ward gym getting ready for the annual basketball game.. Of course he has only 3 people on his team because his two teammates are really 40 people each so its even... but Justin's problem is the evil number one. He cannot escape its wrath... so they are picking out jerseys...
Justin: Can I get a O-n-e...
Coach: Uh...no.
Coach: How bout #2? Do you think you can handle that?
Justin: NOooooooo!! I will always be number one!!!!
Coach: Okay...Justin you can't be number one.. which number are you going to be??
Justin thinks to himself: Well... If i can't be #1... I'll be number 23...ha ha ha thatll show him
Coach: No justin, you can't be 23...
Justin: Aw.. crunk dat
Coach: How bout number 546, justin?
Justin: But thats the number Joey McIntyre's new single peaked at on the Billboard Charts...
Coach: Exactly. Not a special number..
Justin: can't I be number 10?
Coach: no! it has a one in it
Justin: Yeah you're right, it also has a zero in it and I'm no zero you know..
Coach: Its yours.
Justin: Yeah dawg!
Amazingly enough, Justin has managed to out smart someone... aw doesn't surprise us since according to all girls between the ages of obsessed and mega obsessed (12-13 some 34 yr olds in there too) have determined that Justin invented slang...
Group Leader 1: How are you feeling right now?
Joey: M-e-ll-o...
Joey: w.
Group leader 2: what do u think of when I say JC?
Joey: a P-i-ll-o...w.
Group leader 1: if justin were to walk down the street and wander into a motel room what would most girls do?
Joey: f-o-ll-o...
Group Leader 2: w. ha ha ha
That's all folks... thanks for playing...
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