"So close your eyes. And maybe they will keep the tears from flowing. And if that doesn't stop it. Open your eyes and let them fall...and know that for the rest of his time he did love you...."

Father Fletcher said quietly as Tristana stared at the freshly dug grave site.

Hearing his words sound in her mind Tristana let her soft lids open to the gray sky as her blue eyes shimmered with tears and her eyes held the look of someone knowing too much in too short of a time.

"Thank you father" she said gently as her own words sounded hollow in the still air.

"Keep your chin up Tristana" he said his voice barely above a whisper as he walked away from her.

Down the dark path his head held down.

"Keep your chin up Tristana" she repeated as she sounded the words over in her mind. But it all sounded the same. The same monotone voice. All the 'I'm Sorrys' and 'If I can do anything for you..' 'He is happy' they all blended into one empty voice in her mind. That always sounded in her mind.

Even when she tossed and turned in the middle of the night those words where there. To remind her. He was gone. Kneeling down she let her black trench coat touch the ground as she hesitantly removed the black sun glasses from her face. Knowing she should feel the ache of the two inch heels that supported her all she could feel was the numbing pain.

Staring at his name imprinted on the cold slab of stone Tristana let the tears trickle down. One by one. Memory by memory. Running her smooth finger over the jaded name she traced the outline of the letters that was the only thing left of the one beautiful creature that taught her how to love. Nicholas Gene Carter. Letting her dark hair fall around her eyes blurring the sight she did nothing to push it away. She didn't need to see it. His name would always be scorched in her heart. Like an open wound. That never could heal.

"I want to curse you for abandoing me. I want to damn you to hell for thinking I could be ok without you. I want to hate you for you thinking I can do this without you" Tristana said softly as she let her fingers trail over the cool dirt that was moist under her touch. "You promised you'd leave me never. But it looks like your gone forever." she choked out as the tears rolled down her cheekbones a little faster.

"Tristana?" a hesitant voice said. Startled Tristana shot up as she turned around to see Brian standing on the walk way. His own eyes dark and shadowed.

"Bri..." she said quietly as she casted her aquamarine eyes to the ground. Gripping the pink rose she held in her hand tightly she felt a thorn prick her fingers.

Approaching her slowly he studied her haunted expression "Tris....He wouldn't want to know this happened to you" Brian said quietly as he stopped in front of her as he noticed the blood that dripped from her finger and the thorn that had inserted itself in the wound. But she said nothing. And he would imagine the pain of the thorn was not phasing her.

"He didn't want to die either' Tristana replied as she herself gazed down at the thorn.

She could feel it rubbing against the tender muscels in her ring finger but pain it no mind. It wasn't something she hadn't already been feeling.

"Tristana....Bad things happen. Unexplainable things. Sometimes they are big. Sometimes they are small. But it happens. And there isn't much we can ever do to avoid it. But it's what we do afterwards that makes us stronger. And that will show your testimony of love to Nick. He doesn't want your testimony of love to be something painful. He wants it to be beautiful. Like you are" Brian said softly as the cool wind began a strange dance around them.

Tickling Tristana's soft cheek then running itself through Brians soft hair. "He left me Brian. I am not sure if I can forgive him for that" Tristana whimpered as the tears fell down her cheeks like rain drops from the sky.

Pulling her into a tender embrace Brian held her as she cried and cursed. Her full lips muttereing words he didn't think she ever knew.

Her small hands clutching his jacket as she whimpered into his chest. The pain of letting go.

Finally looking down at her he dropped a kiss on the palm of her hand. "Say goodbye Tristana. Let him go. And set yourself free" Turning from her Brian walked away.

Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment Tristana took a deep breath. Turning back to the grave site she hesitated for a moment as she finally dropped the rose from her hand and onto the dirt as her finger bled freely now.

"I know you're leaving..." she began her voice barely audible above the roar of the wind that now possesed her hair sending it into an alluring dance as the gray skies darkened the light but her startling eyes shone like beacons in the dark.

"I'll never understand--But before you leave--Nick--I have one thing left to ask you. Lie to me. Tell me you won't go" Tristana whispered.

Exhaling as if she had been holding her breath for the last few hours Tristana felt the first waves of numbness subside as the pain was still there and fresh. But maybe not as potent. Gazing down at the bleeding finger Tristana lifted it to her lips and kissed it gently as the bleeding slowly stopped till there was nothing but a bright red drop on her slender finger tip. Turning away from the grave Tristana held her head up as the wind nipped her face turning her cheeks red.

Digging her hands deep in her pockets she almost heard his faint lie in the wind as it whispered "I'm not leaving"