I wish I could make you see
when my chest begins to cave in
and all the worlds sins
feel as if they have rushed in for safety.
Devils and angels parry across
the thin strip of humanity in my head
and my heart runs excitedly from the commotion.
One moment I’m sure there are no wars being fought
and I rally with strength and courage.
The next moment Fear dumps his luggage
and again I’m in for the same old company.
Pray - pray, I say
want for the better,
wish for the end.
Back again to courage
my words touched His ear.
I’m like a newly unfolded butterfly
trying to waft my still burdened wet wings
into overcoming the gusts of terror.
Follow me to the clouds
and try to understand what my view is.
Remove the curtain of judgment
and see the sights of God’s view.
Which side of hell is hotter?
Who do you choose to burn?
If we back away far enough
they become little points of light
and perhaps many more than we know
are begging for courage too.
So perhaps you never will fathom my terror.
Maybe you’ll never see my skin crawling in anger
but at least dip your toe into the soft white folds of my clouds.
++++ Margot 1-16-98 ++++
There is a liquid that I've tasted
Some may call it's name,
Poison
poison it may be, because my heart
it's fluttering movements
become weak with each taste
If a glass, it was offered
to me, from your hands
would I drink
to bring a smile
could I deny
to furrow the brow
Through glass, it's contents harsh
Through glass, it's beauty besieged
To this poison, I raise the glass
To think to drink,
Nay, I should not
from a rose
the petals opened cup
if not to drink
then to drown
I could swim
in this poison
I could live
in this poison
to drink
from a rose-petal cup
glass may shatter
petals only wilt
the rose in my hand
poison on my fingers
murder me, if you must
ah, but suicide is painless
