A Treatise to Customers
Ladies and Gentleman,
In the interest of making life as simple as possible, I come before you to ask of you a few simple things. They aren't very much, and they all pertain to those few times when you find yourself standing in line at the grocery store.
In fact, grab your mouse, slide the cursor up to the print button on your toolbar, and press it. Keep this treatise with you at all times, and review when you find yourself in a cashiers line.
I would ask those of you who are to be customers to remember these few simple things.
1. When in a cashier's line, always be courteous.
Most of the time that I end up in a bad mood, it is usually because one customer came through the line and was a total jerk to me. So, try to refrain from saying something along these lines.
Me: Good evening sir, how are you?
Him: Terrible. Why is your milk so goddam expensive?
Me: I don't really know sir. I guess the price of milk-
Him: Federal regulations state that prices aren't sposed to go up more then 3%. That went up like 50%. You can't do that.
Me: yes sir.
Him: It's wrong. you aren't sposed to do something like that.
Me: yes sir.
Him: I want you to tell your manager that it's illegal for milk to be that expensive. You tell him, you hear me?
This has actually happened to me. And not when I worked at Winn Dixie. This came from my supposedly more toned down clientele at Kroger. So, if you have a problem with the prices being too high, or something's out of stock, please don't rant at the cashiers about it.
When you come through my line, do I tell you about the horrible problems I'm having in my life? Do I complain that Kroger doesn't pay me enough (which they do actually, that was just an example), and then expect you to do something about it? Do I tell you that I'm not satisfied with the way you are dressed or the amount of teeth in your mouth, or the way you smell? No, I don't. No matter how much I want to. So please don't complain to me about some thing I personally have no control over.
I guarantee you that if every customer to come through my line would be polite, I would never be in a bad mood, and hence impolite right back atcha.
2. When something rings up at the wrong price, please don't blame the cashier for the problem.
The cashier, as aforementioned, has no control over the prices. The prices are determined by the management, and put in the computer by the management. When I scan the groceries, I am scanning the UPC code, which tells the computer what I am scanning. The computer then looks up the price, displays it, and adds it onto the receipt.
I don't mind you telling me the price is wrong. I'm in the business of customer service, after all. I will gladly change the price if you are either (a) absolutely sure that the price is wrong, (b) there is something on the item that shows the price is wrong, (c) or you can prove it by showing me a sign from where you got the item.
Please do not let the following exchange take place.
Me: *scanning groceries, in a good mood*
Her: Those eggs rang up wrong.
Me: *Pauses, looks up at the screen, seeing that the eggs rang up at 57¢* Did they?
Her: They're sposed to be 54¢.
Me: *Speechless for a moment, trying to decide if she is being serious about this, but not knowing a tactful way to ask* Uhhh... they are?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ummm, okay. *voids off the item, and rescans it at three cents lower*
Just so I don't have to keep repeating myself, all examples I use here have actually happened to me. If an item scans, and it scans the wrong price, but the price is off by a dime or less, it's alright to let it go. I realize money is very important these days, and people need all they can get, but if something scans wrong by a dime or less, will ya please just let it go? It's just a dime.
Most people are reasonable, and will not quibble over a dime, but every now and then, Scrooge McDuck comes through the line, and wants every single penny he is owed, and God help the cashier who is running that register.
Please don't be a Scrooge.
3. While were on the subject of Things ringing up wrong, don't accuse the cashier of fixing the prices so that he makes a profit.
This is ludicrous. Absolutely ludicrous. I don't even get why customers think this. I mean, if you just stop and think about what you are going to say before you say it, you won't look a like a fool half of the time. I'll explain why this is ludicrous in a minute. FIrst, the example.
Me: *Scan scan scan scan*
Her: This rang up wrong *holds up the item.* Are you trying to scam me?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: DId you purposely ring that up higher then it is to make a profit for yourself?
Me: I... what?
Her: *gives an indignant stare*
Now, to explain to you why this is so ludicrous. First of all, as I mentioned before, the cashier does not put in whatever he thinks the object is worth. He scans the UPC symbol, and that tells the register what the object is, and what it's worth.
Secondly, when a cashier is done with his day, he has to do something with the money, right? He doesn't just leave it in the register 24-7. In some form or another, it gets counted, and he is held accountable for what is in his register. Therefore, if he scans something high, that amount of money needs to be in his register. So, let's say there's a cashier doing this. Every order, he scans one item for a dollar more then it's worth, and pockets the dollar. He goes through an eight hour day, without any of the customers ever noticing (that's how you know this is a fantastic example), and at the end of the day he has over 100 dollars in his pocket. Then comes the time of reckoning. His till gets counted, and lo and behold, he is over a hundred dollars short.
That's a good firing offense right there. As is stealing, and scamming the customers. Please think before you accuse us of scamming you.
4. DO not tell the cashier how to do their job. The cashier is trained, and knows what he is doing. Especially me. Especially don't tell me how to do my job. I can do it better then anyone. Still, that doesn't stop this one lady, who thinks that she knows better then I do. All this from the following.
Me: How are you ton-
Her: Fine. Here are my coupons, you scan those at the end.
Me: Uhh, yes ma'am. I won't forget. *sets them aside where he can easiy see them and be reminded of them
Her: And here's my cash commitment card. You scan that right now, before you scan anything else.
Me: Yes ma'am, I know.
Her: Now, scan my groceries. THis is all produce, and this is all stuf fyou can scan. This is cold stuff it aall goes together, and this is the detergent and stuff it doesn't go with food products.
I wanted to smack her. Cashiers are trained in how to scan groceries, and the correct procedures, and whatnot. We know when to scan coupons, and we know when to scan cash commitment cards. Chances are, believe it or not, we even know when and how to scan groceries, so don't tell us how to run the bloody register.
5. If you happen to find yourself in the situation in which your bank card/credit card does not work in the card reader, do not blame the cashier and/or the card machine.
This is possibly one of the most annoying things that I have had happen to me. This is even worse then being accused of scamming a customer. Here's the example:
Me: Is that debit or credit?
Her: Debit.
Me: Alright, thank you. *Hits the debit button*
Her: *goes through the sequence of transacting with a debit card*
Card Machine: Invalid PIN number
Me: Can I get you to re-enter your PIN number please?
Her: Did it not go through? *tries again*
Card Machine: Invalid PIN number
Me: It says that the PIN number is wrong.
Her: No, that's not right. I just got this card a few days ago, and I'm using the PIN number that I got with this card. Is your machine broken?
Me: No, it isn't ma'am, besides, it-
Her: Well, I know it's not MY card. I use the same PIN number for all my cards, so it must be your machine.
Me: Ma'am, I can assure you-
Her: Don't argue with me! The customer is always right!!!!
The store does not have any power over Debit or Credit cards. Those machines that you slide the card through do this: read the account information, send the request via satellite to your bank, obtain information whether or not it can transact it, sends the message back, and then approves it at the register.
If the card does not work, it could be for any number of reasons.
1. You could possibly, just possibly, have entered the wrong PIN number. Even if you use the same PIN number for all you cards, it's possible that it hasn't cleared the bank yet, or it could be that you didn't use the PIN number you thought you did. Either way, it isn't the store's fault, or the cashiers.
2. The bank could be offline. This has happened multiple times at Kroger. The bank goes offline, and the debit cards don't work. In that case, it isn't our store's fault, or the Cashier's fault. We dont' know that it's going to happen until the first Debit Offline message comes up.
3. Your card could be out of date, or not activated yet. In that case, there is still nothing I, or the store for that matter, can do about it.
Either way, please do not blame the store when your card doesn't work. We have nothing to do with it.
6. If you have coupons, please point them out to the cashier. Numerous times, I will be taking items out of a customers cart and scanning them, when suddenly I will come across some coupons, just laying in the cart. I then ask the customer if they wish to use those coupons. This is fine. This is not the situation in question.
The situation in question is when the Customer holds on to the coupons, or lays them surreptitiously to the side, not bothering to tell the cashier at all. The result, is something like this.
Me: Your total is $56.78 ma'am.
Her: *pays the amount*
me*hands her the change and the receipt and the catalina coupons.* have a good evening.
Her: You took off my coupons, right?
Me: *blinks, then looks down at where the customer is pointing, to the coupons he didn't notice before because the customer didn't bothe to point them out.* Oh, no I didn't. I'm sorry ma'am, that was my fault. If you would like, you can-
Her: You didn't get my coupons?
Me: No ma'am, I didn't. But if you would like, you can take them over to customer service, and they can give you your money for them.
Her: *gathering up her groceries* I put them right in front of your face. What the hell kind of cashier are you that you don't even notice? Right in front of your face. I don't want to go all the way over to customer service.
Me: *nodding quietly, not bothering to talk*
Yes, occasionally cashiers will miss the coupons. However, this is easily remedied. All the customer has to do is be sure to tell the cashier that they have coupons. Then the cashier will get them. Secondly, if the cashier does miss the coupons, and tenders out the order, this is also easily remedied. Go to customer service, and they will give you your money back.
It is an annoyance, I understand that. But if you put the coupons down in a place where the cashiers don't normally look in the course of an order, and then don't bother to tell them, the coupons will be overlooked. It's as simple as that.
7. When in an express lane, please try to remember that the rule for an express lane is 15 ITEMS OR LESS. NOT how much you can stick in one of those green baskets.
Some people can fit a hundred thousand things in one of those little green baskets, and then expect to be able to come through an express lane. This is wrong. If you are going to come through an express lane, make sure that you have only fifteen items.
The express lane does not apply to people with forty or fifty items in a little green basket.
8. If you are in a hurry, all the registers are backed up, there's an express lane open, and you have fifty-seven items in a grocery cart, resist temptation and do not go through the express lane.
Some ladies assume they are Queens of the Grocery Store and so they can do as they like. So, when all the big registers are backed up, they can go through the express lane, and no one will complain because they are >insert herald music here< Queens of the Grocery Store.
So, they walk up to the express lane, with their fifty item purchases, and begin to unload, and what does the cashier do? What can the cashier do? By the time they figure out wat to say, and how to say it, the Queen of the Grocery Store has half her items unloaded. Is the cashier then supposed to tell the customer that they can not come through the line, make them reload their groceries, and then send them to another line to wait? No, they don't dare do that, because then the Queen of the Grocery Store will complain to a manager, who will then talk to the cashier, and no cashier wants that.
So, the cashier takes them, and rings them through and then gripes at another cashier, who empathizes, because the same thing has happened to him.
So, please remember that you are all equally important in the eyes of the cashier, and we don't care how many items you have, or how indignant you are, or what kind of a rush you are in. If you are in ahurry, we will try to go faster to accomodate you. Please make sure, though, that you are in the right line. There are other people on a hurry, who just want to buy one item, and if you are clogging up the express lane, they can't get out either.
To us cashiers, Queens of the Grocery Store are just as important to the out of towners who are just passing through.
9. When you have children in your cart, please observe what the cashier says.
Many times, the child in the cart likes to help unload the groceries, and some cashiers are okay with that. Some cashiers though, hate that. When kids try to help them, that only hinders them.
I am one of those. When a child tries to hand me the items, it bothers me, because I always have it planned out what item I am going to grab next, and when the kid tries to help, I have to change my plan. And most of the time, when the kid wants me to scan an item, he wants m to scan it right now.
"Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here."
That is the litany they chant while they are waiting for me to take their item. That's when I decide to lt them sit there holding the item until I am ready for it.
Sometimes, I tell the kid to just leave the groceries, and I'll get them when I'm ready. Sometimes, they listen, and leave the groceries alone, letting me tae care of them.
Sometimes they don't, and I have to repeat myself, at which point you, the customer, does one of two things. You either
A. Tell the child to leave the item alone. SOmetimes, the child even listens.
B. Tell the cashier that the child just likes to help, at which point we can't argue, since the customer is always right.
Some of us cashiers, though, would like the child to stop if they ask them to. This is just somethng to keep in mind.
10. Don't tell the cashier your life story when you explain why you forgot to pick up some ketchup.
Me: *ring up the order, finishes it*
Her: Oh, i forgot ketchup! Can I go back and get some, and leave my groceries up here?
Me Yes Ma'am.
a few minutes later....
Me: *Rings up the ketchup*
Her: I'm sorry I forgot to get the ketchup, but while I was making up my list, I got a phone call from my sister, her name is Marie, and she was calling because our brother Frank had a son this morning! Well, not Frank, Frank couldn't have a baby, you know, though he used to wish he could. When we were kids, he was jealous of me and Marie because we could have kids and he couldn't. He wanted to have kids in the worst way, Frank did. Anyway, where was I? Oh, I was talking about when we were kids! Yeah, so, I used to go grocery shopping with my mom when I was younger. Back then things were so different. They didn't have UPC codes, the cashier had to punch in the price manually, and the registers were just glorified calculators. I remember when they first came out with calculators. They could add and subtract, and that was about it. Now they can do the most interesting things. Why when my brother Frank was younger, he used to- What was my total? Oh thank you. Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was talking about my brother Frank. He was born four years after I was. Four years and three days actually, isn't that a coincidence? Anyway, he was born, and I wasn't very happy about it, because all my grandparents started paying more attention to him then me, and I got jealous. Oh, I don't need that in a bag, that's just a waste of a bag. Where's my other groceries? Oh there they are, right where I left them. Ha ha ha ha ha. Isn't that funny when that happens? Well, it's been nice talking with you. See you later bye!
Me: *hopes she never comes back through his line again*
11. Look for the light to be on. If the light is on, it's safe. If the light is off, assume it is closed, unless otherwise notified.
Me: *Scanning an order*
A Supervisor comes over, turns off my light, and tells me to go on break as soon as I'm done with this order.
Me: *happy* *Finishes the order, and then looks up as another customer comes into the line.* Oh, ma'am? I'm closed...
Her: You are?
Me: yes ma'am. Sorry about that.
Many many many times, I'll need to leave my register for a minute, and do something (ie go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, do a cash drop) and when Customers keep coming up, it becomes impossible to do.
What's even more frustrating, is when your light is off, and customers come up anyway. I mean, here you are, sitting at your register, with your light off. THis is the light that reads "Open." When it's off, the register is not technically open.
That doesn't stop customers though. If they see a cashier there, they assume it's open. Doesn't matter if the light is on, or if there is a Supervisor there counting the money and printing out reports.
If the customer sees someone there, they assume it is open.
Please make sure you check the light.
12. it is considered Taboo, and the height of rudeness for a customer to hype a grocery store while in line at another.
One thing that cashiers hate, is when people say that something is less expensive at Publix then it is at Kroger.
Him: Can you tell me how much this is?
Me: Certainly. *void-scans the item* It's 50¢
Him: 50¢? I can get it four for a dollar at Publix.
We hate this. To our mind, and our way of thinking, if you can get it four for a dollar at Publix, then go there! I don't care what the price is elsewhere. I work here, not there.
13. Snow does not indicate the end of the world.
Every winter without fail, when snow is predicted, what do people do? "Oh, no! Snow is forecast! I'ts going to be the Storm of the Century of the Week! Again! Buy supplies! Buy supplies! We're all going to die! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!"
End result? The store get's slammed with Doomengloomers (that's a Cuellarism) who fear for their lives (which aren't actually in danger at all) because of a storm that probably isn't going to happen. I've only lived in Georgia two winters, and of those two winters, the worst I've seen it get one of two days. The first being that one day in March of 1999 when snow accumulated for the niht, and then it all melted the next day. The second day was this past winter when the weather was so bad that my store lost power for five or six hours.
I have never seen the huge global catastrophe that all these people seem to think is going to happen. I have never seen the area shut down by snow and ice and death.
It hasn't happened, and chances are, it never will.
14. DO NOT, repeat (this is very important so if you pay attention to only one of these, ppay attention to this one) DO NOT leave your buggy/cart/whatever you call it in the middle of the aisle!!!!!!
We hate nothing more then having to move carts which are blocking our way, or blocking someone else's way, because you were too lazy to push it five more feet to the side. It isn't that hard. The carts aren't that heavy. So, just a little closer to the side, would be nice. I hate when customers load their buggy up with groceries, push it so it is DIRECTLY in the middle of the aisle, and then pick up all their groceries and walk out. Please remember this.
How to act with Baggers
15. When having a bagger help you out, it is considered good form to tip them, though not required.
In layman's terms, tip the Baggers when they help you out to your car. Baggers work harder then the cashier's do, have more responsibilities then the cashiers do, and they deserve more then the five or six dollars an hour they get. Don't stiff them when they help you with your groceries.
16. Try to refrain from telling Baggers how to do their job.
Believe it or not, Baggers are trained in how to do their job (IE, bagging groceries). They will take care of your groceries and make sure not to smoosh your bread, and crush your eggs, or bruise your precious banana's.
I'm not saying you can't request specificities (viz. "Can you bag the cold stuff together? (though that's borderline (baggers always bag cold stuff together (or should anyway))), I want this in it's own bag, Keep these seperate, they're gong to another house"), but don't tell them what goes with what.
"Make sure you don't bag the detergent with the tomatoes."
"Don't put anything on top of the bread."
"Don't put that 32 lb of dog food in a bag!"
Bagger's know how to bag, and if they aren't sure whether or not to bag something, they will ask.
How to Act at the U-Scan
Codicil: When at the U-Scan, please observe all the rules that apply to a normal express lane register.
That's all that U-Scan is. A more complicated Express lane.
17. Read the Signs, follow the Directions, and do what the Machine tells you to do.
There is a sign on every U-Scan machine. A red one, shaped like a stop sign, and it reads as follows: "STOP! Do not remove bags until your order has been completed." It's right there, on eye level with the customer, and yet, somehow, the customers always seem to overlook it.
I cannot tell you how much simpler the cashier/Host/Hostess' life would be if you would ust read this sign before you start the order.
Five out of every six orders tries to remove their bags before they are done with the order, and that just screws up the U-Scan, and we have to go over and tell you to put your bags back.
U-Scan: Please place the items back in the bag.
Never mind that the U-Scan registers speak out loud, the customer just goes obliquely on, putting their bags back in their cart before the order is done.
Me: Sir, you need to leave all the items on the bag until the order is done. This metal platform here is all a scale, and that's how it knows to let you continue.
Him: Oh, well, you should have some sort of sign about that somewhere.
Me: (with absolutely no hesitation) We do, sir. *points out the aforementioned red sign* right there.
Him: Oh.
18. Listen to the U-Scan cashier.
If the U-Scan tells you to do something, and you aren't listening to it, then the cashier will repeat the same thing to you, assuming that you will hear a human better then a machine, though they are both going to say the same thing, and in the same language.
Sometimes, though, that yields absolutely no results.
I was watching a customer move her bags fromt eh scale to the cart, and as soonas she picked them up of the scale, the U-Scan flagged her on it. "Pleae put the item, or items back in the bag." At that point, I just waved i through, not worying about it.
However, in one of those rare instances, the customer heard the Machine, and decided to put the bags back. At which point I tried to get her to stop.
"You can leave it Ma'am. You can leave it. Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am!"
Nothing. No response. so I cleared it out again, and let her continue on her merry way, oblivious to the world around her.
19. Don't mess with/lean on/touch in any way/caress/fondle/kiss/hug/etc etc the bag racks on the U-Scan.
The bag racks are situated on a metal platform, which is actually an ULTRA-Sensitive scale. WHne you scan an item, it asks you to place it in a bag, so the Item goes ont eh scale. It can then compare the weight of wat you put on the scale with what you scanned.
When people lean on the bag racks, or the scales, or put their purses down on it, or let their little kids treat it like a jungle gym, or touch it in anyway, it affects the weight, and the U-Scan will flag you for it.
So, don't touch the bag racks in anyway, shape form or fashion.
20. Do not ever talk back to the U-Scan.
Nothing is more disturbing to me then to hear the followning conversation take place.
U-Scan: Please scan the first item, and place it in the bag.
Customer: *scans groceries, totals*
U-S:DO you have any coupons?
Cust: *cheerily* No, I don't, but thanks for asking! *presses no*
U-SPlease select your method of payment, and touch the screen where indicated.
Cust: *cheerily* ALRIGHT! I'm paying with cash, okay? *touches the cash button
U-S: Please insert your coins int he coin acceptor before inserting the bills in the bill acceptor.
Cust: Alright. Here's a quarter, and here's a nickel, and here's another quarter, and here's a five, and here's a twenty.
U-S: PLease take your reciept. Thank you for shopping at Kroger.
Cust: Oh you're very welcome. Thanks for helping me!
I had bad dreams that night.
So, there it is. Twenty simple, easy ways to make your day that much more wholesome and satisfying, and to give the cashier the simple pleasure of having a good day.
Most people don't realize it, but being a cashier in a grocery store is the second most thankless and aggravating job in the world. The first is a telemarketer, but that's neither here nor there. I would like to see Cashier In A Grocery Store drop down on that list, even if it's only to third or fourth most aggravating and thankless job on the planet. With the matters outlined here, I believe we can do that.
To any cashiers, past or present who read this, if I've left anything out, please let me know (RiftTraveler@Hotmail.com or talk to me at work). Thanks!
-Mike Cuellar
-Cashier #12
-Kroger #463
