These are inescapable truths of everyday life. No matter how hard you try to fight it, you cannot win out against these rules. They will always come to pass.
1. If you like a TV show, and your parents sit down to watch it, the minute they do, no matter how clean and decent the show is, it turns it’s subject matter to something your parents don’t want you to watch, and they don’t let you watch that show anymore.
2. If it’s important, WRITE IT DOWN. Otherwise, you will forget about it.
3. No one over the age of thirty can keep the events of a trilogy in order.
4. If an important message arrives for you by phone, and you are not there, the message will not be given to you UNTIL it is too late to do anything about it.
5. If a radio station claims, “we play your favorite songs”, they don’t play your favorite songs.
6. No matter what you are looking for, (assuming you don’t know the location of one) be it a certain lego piece, or a fast food restaurant, you will never find one on your first try. It will more then likely take you several tries. However, once you find whatever it is you are looking for, or move on to look for something else, you immediately find ten more of the item you were orginally looking for.
7. The best idea you have ever had will come to you about point three seconds before you fall asleep, or in the middle of a dream, and you will not remember it in the morning no matter how hard you try.
8. No matter how cold it is when you stick your finger in it, the tea is always hot when you spill it on yourself. Inversely, no matter how hot the tea is when you stick your finger in it, it is always cold in your mouth.
9. Machines are at least part sentient. They know when it is critical for them to cooperate, and they choose that time to not work.
10. No matter how long you try to think up a Rule of Life, you will not be able to think of one, until a situation presents itself to you IN real life.
11. All Customers are inherently stupid.
12. The last hour of your shift at work is always the longest
13. Everytime you need a red light, you don't get one. When you don't need a red light is when you get stuck at one.
14. There is no such thing as the perfect result when it comes to microwave cooking.
15.The amount of change that falls out of your pocket in the movie theater is never the same amount that you put in.
16. If a friend tells you about an embarrassing event in their life, you usually won't make fun of them for it. If you witness them do the actual event, though,it's fair game.
17. If someone points out a sound to you, and you hadn't noticed it before, you won't be able to unnotice it. Similarly, if you hear a background beat in a song (like the maraccas in "La Bamba") you will focus on that noise every time you hear that song, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.
And now, for something completely different.
