One day Mr. Rodriguez was shopping at Safeway and he spotted out his favorite student ********. Mr. Rodriguez was trying to shop his sorrows away from the recent break up he had with Mr. Little. "Oh my goodness, she can't see me like this! I look dreadful," Mr. Rodriguez thought to himself. ******** thought that she was being slick by walking by fast but, she obviously thought wrong. "Hello, Miss ****. Fancy meeting you here," said Mr. Rodriguez. "Yeah whatever," mumbled ********. "What was that," asked Mr. Rodriguez. "Oh sorry, I had frog in my throat. What I meant to say was.... hi," replied ******** as she peeked into his grocery cart full of hostess cupcakes and chocolate covered oreos as well as two issues of Men's Fitness magazine. She knew it was "comfort food"
but, she tried not to let him know that she knew what was going on. "So are you, um, having a party," she asked. "Huh? A party?" asked Mr. Rodriguez as he glanced into his cart. "Oh yes! Yes I am having a little get together at my house later this evening," continued Mr. Rodriguez. "So, is Mr. Little going to be there," she questioned. Tears started to fill his big brown eyes as his lip started to quiver. "I- - -I... *sigh* I don't belive I recall who you're referring to. Well would you look at the time! I've got to go! Bye," said the teacher as he sprinted down the aisle and to the express checkout line before his student could reply.....
During that same day, Mr. Little saw his favorite student ***** (whom previously ripped out his heart when she admitted to hating his class) at Ralph's. She was just passing by the liquor section to go to the bathroom when she tried to bolt past but, just like oh-so-slick ********, her plan was foiled when he said, "Well hello, *****!! How are you today?" ***** was still pissed off at him from the other day when he had asked her if he could borrow her boyfriend, ****, over the weekend. She didn't answer him. Mr. Little continued, "Look, *****, I know you're still a bit hot and bothered because I asked you for **** this weekend but, that doesn't mean you have to have such hatred against me!" ***** just stared back at the short little gay guy. "I can't stand it when you're silent. Please talk,"
said Mr. Little. ***** glanced into his grocery cart full of vodka, brandy, rum and two twelve packs of Red Bull. "Look just because you just had a ruff break up with Mr. Rodriguez doesn't mean you could just ask me for **** for the weekend," yelled *****. "I know, *****. I totally agree with you but, did you really have to kick me in the nuts for that," asked Mr. Little. "Yes," replied *****. "Why," inquired the teacher. "It's because you went way to far, okay? Anyway, you seem depressed and I know you miss him so just call Mr. Rodriguez," said *****. "You know what, *****? I think you're right. Thank you so much for your advice," replied Mr. Little as he gleefully galloped to the nearest checkstand.
When Mr. Little got home, he drank a fifth of vodka and watched three episodes of "Happy Days" re-runs before he decided to call Mr. Rodriguez…
MR. LITTLE: Hello is Eric-uh, oopsie I mean Eric there?
MR. RODRIGUEZ: This is he.
MR. LITTLE: Oh, hi. It's me, John.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: I thought that was you.....
~*There is a long 5 minute pause*~
MR. LITTLE: So how are you?
MR. RODRIGUEZ: I'm super thanks for asking. ...How are you?
MR. LITTLE: Dreadful.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Dreadful? Oh my. That can't be good. Why so dreadful, hun?
MR. LITTLE: ~*crying*~ Because I miss you. We've only been separated for a few
days but, I can't stand being apart. I don't even know what went wrong between
us, Eric, I really don't.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: ~*crying*~ I don't know why we broke up either, John, but it just
about killed me when we decided to *gasp* see other people.
MR. LITTLE: I totally agree, sweetie. Please stop crying now. . .
MR. RODRIGUEZ: *sniff* *sniff* Okay. What do you suppose we should do now
then?
MR. LITTLE: The only thing we can do.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: What's that?
MR. LITTLE: Get back together silly!
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Of course! You're such a genius!!
MR. LITTLE: Then it's settled we're back together!
MR. RODRIGUEZ: *claps hands* Oh goody! Do you want to come over?
MR. LITTLE: No.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Why?
MR. LITTLE: I want you to come over here instead!
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Oh alright. That sounds fun.
MR. LITTLE: Good.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: When do you want me to come over?
MR. LITTLE: As soon as possible. Maybe we can throw a little party at my house.
It'll be fun. Invite that ******** girl. She sounds like a sweetheart and tell her to
bring *** because I want to see what the guy that's trying to take my baby looks
like...!!!
MR. RODRIGUEZ: *giggles* you're so silly. He's not trying to take me away from
you. He's just mildly attracted to me.
MR. LITTLE: Okay... whatever, darling... I'll invite ***** and ****. She's sort of
mad at me but, maybe I could make ammence by inviting them.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Okay that sounds good.
MR. LITTLE: Okay.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: I'm on my way over now. Bye.
MR. LITTLE: Okay bye.
Ten minutes later, Mr. Rodriguez showed up at Mr. Little's house. He brought some of his hostess cupcakes to share with the people at their get together/"party" type thing. "I'm going to call ******** now, okay John," asked Mr. Rodriguez. "Okay," answered Mr. Little.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Hi is ******** there.
********: No! *click*
"Uh oh, hey John, I just called ******** and she just answered but we seemed to
get disconnected so I'm going to call her back," announced Mr. Rodriguez. "Okay,
whatever floats your boat, sweetie," replied Mr. Little as Mr. Rodriguez re-dialed
********'s phone number.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Hello, is ******** there?
********: *grrr...* Speaking...
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Oh goody. What are you doing tonight?
********: I have plans....
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Oh.
********: Why?
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Just wondering.
********: ...Alrighty then I gotta go now bye bye.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: No wait a minute!!!
********: What now?
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Are you sure you're busy?
********: Yeah.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Do you think you'll be able to come over to Mr. Little's house for a
little bit? Just stop by for about 10-20 minutes you and *** could come over and
just chill... then you could go. Mr. Little just wants to meet you two.
********: Uh... let me think...... how about... no?
MR. RODRIGUEZ: *gasp* Why not?
********: I-AM-BUSY-TONIGHT!!!!
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Please come over I'll make it worth your while....
********: I'm listening.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: I'll... buy you some of those NSync magazines.
********: No. I already have all of the magazines that they're in this month.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Hmm... okay... I'll pay you guys $2 each.
********: No.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: $5?
********: No.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: $8?
********: No.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: $10?
********: $20.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: $15.
********: Deal. I guess it won't kill me to get paid to meet someone. Just give
me the directions and we'll be there in about 20 minutes. You better have the cash
ready for us when we show up at the door otherwise the deal is off.
MR. RODRIGUEZ: Okay then it's a deal. I think you're familiar with this area of
town. Mr. Little lives right next door to a girl named *******. She lives near Will C. Wood.
********: Okay I know exactly where that is. See ya in a bit. *click*
Then Mr. Little decided to call his favorite student, *****, to invite her and **** to his little "get together/party"...
MR. LITTLE: Hello, is ***** there?
*****: *sigh* This is she.
MR. LITTLE: Hi, *****, it's Mr. Little.
*****: Oh... yeah... lucky me it's Mr. Little.
MR. LITTLE: Geez, what's wrong with you?
*****: Nothing. I have to go now. I'm busy.
MR. LITTLE: Not so fast!! What are you doing tonight?
*****: I... have... other... plans...
MR. LITTLE: Really? What are you doing?
*****: I'm doing something with my friend ***.
MR. LITTLE: Oh. Did you know that *** is coming over here for a little bit
sometime soon.
*****: *laughing hysterically* Yeah...riiiiiiight... I don't think so.
MR. LITTLE: It's true. ******** and *** are coming over. You and **** are
welcome to come over as well!
*****: Not a chance!
MR. LITTLE: You won't come?
*****: No way. How much are you paying them to come over anyway?
MR. LITTLE: I'm not paying them, Mr. Rodriguez is! Oops I mean... they're coming
over out of the goodness of their hearts.
*****: Uh-huh... suuuure........
MR. LITTLE: I'm telling the truth.
*****: Yeah I believe you.
MR. LITTLE: Okay fine. I'll pay you and **** each $5 to come over.
*****: $5? Ha! Is that all?
MR. LITTLE: Err... $8?
*****: Higher.
MR. LITTLE: $10?
*****: No...
MR. LITTLE: $12?
*****: How about... $25?
MR. LITTLE: That's $50 total!!!!!
*****: Well if you can't pay the price then...
MR. LITTLE: Okay fine... $20 is my last offer.
*****: $20? Fair enough. I'll call *** and have her and *** come pick me and
**** up and we'll be there. Have the cash ready for us otherwise we'll just leave.
MR. LITTLE: Okay, you've got yourselves a deal.
*****: Yeah yeah yeah...
MR. LITTLE: Alright I'll see you in a few.
*****: Let's get this over with!
MR. LITTLE: That's the spirit, *****!
*****: Don't push your luck little man.
MR. LITTLE: Okay sorry. Bye.
*****: Bye. *click*
***** called ******** after she got off the phone with Mr. Little and told ******** and *** to come pick up her and **** at her house. In ***'s car, the four pondered what would happen during the 10 minutes of hell at Mr. Little's house. "I'll tell you one thing right now, if they start making out I'm gonna leave," complained ****. "Hush up, boy, at least we're getting paid for this 10 minute visit," explained ********. "You're right," replied ****. "All we have to do issurvive being in that house for up to 10 minutes then we're free to do whatever we
want," said ***. "What should we do after this 'get together' is over with," asked *****. "Maybe we'll go to the movies or to the mall or something," suggested ********. "Anything to make us forget what we're about to do," exclaimed ***.
Then ********, ***, ***** and **** pulled into Mr. Little's driveway and walked up to the porch. ***** rang the doorbell and Mr. Little answered. "Hello, ***** and ****! Why don't you and your friends come in," greeting Mr. Little. "No," said ***. "Not until you keep up your end of the bargain," reasoned ********. "What bargain," questioned Mr. Rodriguez as he put his arm around Mr. Little. **** shuddered as he tried to turn around and leave but, his plan to leave failed when *** grabbed him by the colar of his shirt. "Pay up," said ***** as she held out her hand. "Pay all of us now," said ********. "Very well," said Mr. Little and Mr. Rodriguez at the exact same time. Mr. Little paid ***** and **** $20
each while Mr. Rodriguez paid ******** and *** $15 each as they had promised. None of them wanted to walk into the house so when ******** least expected it ***** pushed her into the house and *** and **** followed them in. The four students sort of froze by the entry way because they had an awkward feeling of being in a teacher's house.
"Have a seat in the living room," invited Mr. Little. The four students just stood there. "Okay a deal is a deal! Your ten minutes doesn't start until you sit down in the living room," threatened Mr. Rodriguez. "Okay, fine," said ******** as she grabbed ***'s hand and dragged him to the living room. "Oh please don't make me do this," pleaded ***. "Is 10 minutes of paid visiting going to kill you, hun, I think not," said ******** as she and *** sat down on the couch. Then ***** and **** came into the living room and sat down on a different couch. Mr. Little's living room was contemporary. Complete with three inflatable couches that seats two people on each. As well as an inflatable coffee table. The room was
terribley mismatched colorwise even though the colors he used in his interior were complimentry. Baffled by the motif he tried to get away with, ******** decided to ask Mr. Little about his good ~cough~ taste in interior design. "So... Mr. Little... exactly how do all these..... colors come together in this room," asked ********. "Look, darling, if you knew anything about interior design you'd know that all the colors I've used in this room are complimentary of each other," replied Mr. Little. "Oh yes, I know," said ********. "Oh you do, do you," asked Mr. Little sternly. "Yes, I took interior design last year so I know a thing or two about interior design," replied ********. "Okay, miss know-it-all, enlighten me, what do these
colors have in common," quizzed Mr. Little. "That's easy, they're complimentary," answered ********. *****, **** and *** laughed. "What colors are complimentary to each other," asked Mr. Little. "Orange is complimentary to blue and yellow is complimentary to purple and red is complimentary to green. Got anymore brain busters," said ********. "No, that's enough, John," interrupted Mr. Rodriguez. "I don't think I like her, she's too cocky, Eric," explained Mr. Little. "Now, now... Calm down, hun. She ain't hurtin' nobody," reassured Mr. Rodriguez. ***** looked at her watch hoping that 10 minutes had passed by with all that discussion but, to her dismay, only 3 minutes had passed. "How much more time do we have here," **** whispered into *****'s ear. "Only seven more minutes,"
***** whispered back. "Keeping any secrets, *****," questioned ***. "Secrets? No secrets are allowed in my house," yelled Mr. Little. "Seriously, John, you need to calm down," said Mr. Rodriguez. "She's probably talking smmmmmmmmmack," yelled Mr. Little as he smacked his hands together. ******** laughed. "What are you laughing at," asked Mr. Little. "You straight up said 'smmmmmmmmmack'," laughed ******** as she smacked her hands together in mockery of Mr. Little. "You best stop laughing at me," threatened Mr. Little. "Heh heh... why," asked ***. "I'm one crazy mo-fo," warned Mr. Little. "Oh stop it, you're making my side hurt," explained ******** as she laughed.
***** glanced at her watch once again. 2 more minutes and the students would be home free. Mr. Little glared at ***. "So are you the one that has a crush on my Eric," asked Mr. Little. "Excuse me," questioned *** as his jaw dropped to the floor. "All I know is you better watch you back before I do something really crazy," warned Mr. Little. "Oh my goodness. ***, is this true," asked ******** sarcastically. "********, no, not in this lifetime... not in ANY lifetime," *** reassured ********. ***** stood up as she said, "Oh! Would ya look at the time?!?!" The four students sprinted to the door. "Maybe we could do this again next weekend," Mr. Rodriguez shouted as the front door slammed.
As they drove away poor ***** and ******** were scarred for life when they say Mr. Rodriguez fling the door open as he waved vigorously and screamed, "Bye Bye Bye!!!!" May god have mercy on their poor, innocent, NSync-lovin' souls.
*The: end!!!*
