Torn

It stings like knives and pricks like thorns.
I can't handle the pain.
I feel the fire in my stomach.
I'm being pulled.
I'm being crushed.
I'm being torn and made to decide between the two things
I hold more deeply than anything in this mad existance of life.
One pulled me out of the damned black hole I was living in, and made my life better.
The other keeps my life worth living.
Without words as if in a telepatic sense I hear screaming.
All of you screaming for me to decide.
Screaming for me to choose.
How?
Why?
Questions roll through my head as I crawl back into the black hole,
I know and hate so well.
My life is now disappointing.
Every step, everything I do is disapproved by one or the other.
I need peace again.
I need to be loved again by both.