BAD GIRLS FROM MARS
PLOT-The director of a B-movie tries to figure out who's murdering the stars of his movie.
VIOLENCE-The random violent acts are all played for laughs, like you'd see in any spoof of murder mysteries/detective stories. A woman is hanged by some film, another's neck is snapped, and one gets a grenade in her mouth.
SEX/NUDITY-Edy Williams, who plays the star of the B-movie, takes her top off in just about every scene she's in. What I found somewhat disturbing was that she was almost 50 years old when this movie was made! She looked good when she was in BEYOND THE VALEY OF THE DOLLS, and okay in CHAINED HEAT, but you can decide what you think of her now. There are several nude scenes with more appealing actresses as well, don't worry.
WHY I LIKED IT-I've gone and reviewed two Fred Olen Ray movies in a row, haven't I? As you could probably figure, he's a favorite of mine. Seriously, this one is cool because it's a B-movie about the making of a B-movie. It has a lot of hilarious dialogue, too. Especially fun is the presence of Brinke Stevens, who plays the shady costume girl. Also, I'd be dumb not to mention actor Jay Richardson, who is always funny in these movies.
DOWNSIDE-Personally, I would much rather have seen someone else in Edy Williams' role. No offense to her abilities or cult status, but she's just too old for what they had her doing. I also would've liked Brinke Stevens's part to have been bigger. She's great
MEMORABLE SCENES-A bit of dialogue, spoken by a film crew member who's just seen Jay Richardson punched in the stomach by Brinke: "I remember when my girlfriend used to punch me like that. Right before she tried to blow my dick off with a .38!"
NOTES-I highly recommend Ray's film TEENAGE EXORCISTas well. It's even funnier, and has bigger roles by Stevens (who also wrote it) and Richardson.
WOMEN'S PRISON MASSACRE (AKA BLADE VIOLENT)
PLOT-Four male inmates, all convicted murderers, escape and take over a nearby women's prison. They hold the ladies hostage in a stand-off with the cops as the girls try and turn the tables.
VIOLENCE-Everyone in this movie, with the exception of the main character, is a sadistic maniac. There's lots of blood, resulting from fighting, gunfire, stabbing, and torture. There's also a very disturbing "Russian roulette" sequence near the end of the film, which invariably concludes with some splattering brains.
SEX/NUDITY-In movies like this, nudity is generally par for the course. There are several shower scenes, some lesbian groping, and some of the women do it with the escaped prisoners.
WHY I LIKED IT-I've seen many women's prison movies, any they vary in terms of how sleazy things get. Generally, you've got a female who's either wrongfully imprisoned or is an undercover cop, and they get into fights and maybe a little lesbian sex. This film has just the right amount of violence and nudity, and maintains all the necessary stereotypes (like the "masochistic warden" and "tough butch" characters). It's very well-paced, and doesn't have too many slow spots. Best of all, Laura Gemser actually stars as Emanuelle again in this movie. One of its alternate titles isEMANUELLE IN PRISON, but she doesn't do any nude or sex scenes. Unbelievable, escpecially for those of us who saw her in TRAP THEM AND KILL THEM.
DOWNSIDE-As a rule, I don't like men in my women's prison movies. I was disappointed in the fact that the four escaped male prisoners are the true focus of the film. However, they do cause quite a massacre, negating any chance of this movie's title being misleading.
MEMORABLE SCENES-One female inmate cleverly dispatches one of the males by stripping naked, lodging a razor blade in a cork, and strategically placing it in her privates. The poor sap sees her, goes for it, and gets a nasty and painful surprise! I admittedly had to cross my legs after that happened.
NOTES-I'm almost certain that this movie has been re-titled as part of the WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY series. In addition to other alternate titles mentioned here, it's also known as EMANUELLE ESCAPES FROM HELL.
CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE
PLOT-A woman moves in next door to a mysterious couple, as vampire-like muders are being inspected by police.
VIOLENCE-No blood or gore is shown in this film, although a few killings are implied.
SEX/NUDITY-If you cut out all the sex and nudity, this movie would be like 15 minutes long. There's several lengthy lesbian love scenes, as well as a long striptease sequence. Plus, there's bonus footage at the end of the film with even more nudity from the main characters.
WHY I LIKED IT-This is one of the most exceptional shot-on-video productions I've ever seen, and I've watched a lot. Director Frank Terranova truly uses his talents to rise above all the usual trappings of low-budget filmmaking, and there's no telling what he could've accomplished with more money. All the camera techniques are just like what you'd see in any Hollywood film, and the editing is exceptional. Also, Pauline Monet and Jessica English are two of the finest actresses I've ever watched in this type of movie. I hope to see them in something else soon.
DOWNSIDE-Initially I rented this because I was expecting a nudiefest (which it delivers), but I really got into it as a movie. As a result, I think all the sex does take away from things and takes up way too much time. However, I'm sure they sold a lot more videos than if they'd have toned things down.
MEMORABLE SCENES-The vampire couple use their powers to temporarily invade the innocent woman's brain. While unpacking boxes in her kitchen, she suddenly is overcome with the urge to start taking off her clothes and touch herself. Not much skin is shown, but it's done so well that it's much hotter than any of the sex scenes.
NOTES-There are two sequels to this movie, neither of which was done by Terranova. Part 2 looks like something a bunch of kids made with their camcorder, and is basically a comedy. Part 3 is a lot more professional, but is basically all nudity and no story.
HAUNTING FEAR
PLOT-A severely depressed housewife is plagued by nightmares of being buried alive.
VIOLENCE-A character is stabbed in the back of his head and the blade comes out of his face, someone else is shot full of holes, and a severed head rolls on the floor.
SEX/NUDITY-Both lead actresses are seen naked a couple times each. There are also two lengthy sex scenes, one of which is fairly intense for a movie like this.
WHY I LIKED IT-Adapting Edgar Allan Poe stories is a time-honored tradition in the B-movie world, and this present-day interpretation of "Premature Burial" is well-acted and scary. It was cool to me that Fred Olen Ray also made TEENAGE EXORCIST with basically the same principal cast as this, but with an entirely different tone. Brinke Stevens is the star here, and is absolutely incredible. When she breaks out of her coffin and goes on a rampage, the combination of makeup and her acting create a truly horrifying character. I love watching her in this role because she looks so scary and performs so well.
DOWNSIDE-Jan Michael Vincent and Karen Black receive top billing, but their parts are small and almost pointless. Jay Richardson and Brinke Stevens are the actual stars and they totally make the movie, but their names aren't the ones on the cover.
MEMORABLE SCENES-The maniac Brinke runs through the house on a murderous rampage, and stabs her adultering husband in the back of the head. The blade exits through his cheek, and she then chops off his head and throws it at his mistress's feet.
NOTES-Rent this one and TEENAGE EXORCIST for a night of fun and scariness from Ray, Richardson, and Stevens!
ATTACK OF THE 60-FOOT CENTERFOLD
PLOT-A bikini model takes an experimental beauty drug that turnes her into a 60-foot tall giant.
VIOLENCE-None, but there's a bit of cat-fighting near the end.
SEX/NUDITY-There's many topless scenes as we're dealing with a story about bikini centerfolds. Of course, when the girl is first shown 60 feet tall, she is completely naked.
WHY I LIKED IT-Let's face facts: this movie begged to be made. There have been a couple of movies where a woman grows to giant size, but they never show her naked. Duh! That's the first thing a man thinks about when he sees a movie like that! Delivering the goods is director Fred Olen Ray, and you can bet he also gives us some great characters and wonderfully bad jokes as well. Jay Richardson is his usual hilarious self as a Hugh Hefner-type character, complete with pipe and robe.
DOWNSIDE-Michelle Bauer has a small part as a scientist, and is shown on and off in comic scenes as she and other doctors chase down a giant hamster. Putting her in the movie almost ruined it for me, because she should've played the 60-foot centerfold! Come on, guys. JJ North was good, but Michelle is the all-time queen.
MEMORABLE SCENES-A couple guys bring the giant girl what looks like a huge silver vibrator. She says, "what is that!", as they take it apart to reveal a giant lipstick tube.
NOTES-B-actress Nikki Fritz and B-director Jim Wynorski both have cameos in the film.
COMING SOON...
SORCERESS