Gorca- Master of Destruction (as seen through the eyes of Gabe, the Messiah)

Gorca the Mighty
Ruler of all that is holy
Self Employed

Welcome to my holy page. All questions shall be answered.

Who am I?

I am Gorca; a goat bodied, giraffe necked, killer whale for-a-head, stick-for-a-tail, square wheels-for-feet, spiritual being. I am God.

What is this religion all about?

We are in search of true religious fulfillment. We are the only religion on the true path. First of all, we don't confine ourselves to a church; we prefer to worship in a derailed ski gondola, placed conveniently in a peaceful meadow. Secondly, We have the holiest of holy men as our priest: Bill, a plumber, from Massachusetts. The Gorcian religion truly allows our souls to be free.

What are the terms and agreements of being a Gorcian?

The rules are simple. They are as follows:

• You can only eat on four days of the year: the Spring Equinox, the Summer Solstice, the Autumn Equinox, and the Winter Solstice.
• You must give us your first born child.

What happens if I break the rules?

When one goes against the true will of God, he must be punished. That's why if you break the rules, you are put in a nuclear chamber and mutated into a deformed Gorca. Basically, don't break the rules.

What is the symbol of this religion of religions?

This is the symbol of our religion. It is a square wheel, in honour of Gorca's great feet.

If you have any questions regarding Gorcianism, or how to become a Gorcian, please contact Gabe, Master of the Universe, at flameboy_120@hotmail.com

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