Nobody knows why these instruments are so cruel to us poor harmless trumpet players who are the most important and sweet sounding members of the band. They just seem to enjoy insulting us. You can find examples of this at my friend's bassoon site.Once a bassoon player on the internet said to me "Trumpet's suck!"I find these obvious persecutions reason enough to declare the bassoons an enemy of the Trumpet. Of course the trumpet does not "suck" and is a better instrument than the bassoon. That is why we should be against bassoons in everyway that we can be against an instrument while being nonviolent and being mean in a nice way to our stuck up woodwind cousins.
The clarinets are a group of woodwind instruments who happen to think that they are more important than the exhalted trumpet and cornet. Once while playing my trumpet at a football game I was chatting with a clarinet player who told me that clarinets were better than trumpets. She showed me her music book and told me that the clarinets were shown on the cover more times than the trumpet, which upon closer examination I revealed to her that they appeared on the cover the same amount of times. But still she tried to persuade me that clarinets were better than trumpets. She said clarinets played the melody more often than trumpets. This was something she just decided and had no proof of. I disagree anyway and say that trumpets have the melody more often. Besides who whould want to let a harsh sounding squeaky clarinet play the melody. I wouldn't. Plus, the trumpets are heard more, praised more, and played more. The clarinets players also tend to be bad at playing the clarinet. Once in Savannah while attending a music conference I heard a band who played without woodwind instruments. They were one of the best bands I had ever seen play. They were called Jack Daniel's Original Silver Cornet Band. The director said his cornet players could play anything that a clarinet could. And they did if not better. The 4 players in that band have inspired me to strive at my trumpeting and do all I could to increase my trumpeting skills. The concert also helped me discover the truth about how the trumpet was the most important instrument in the band. So my advice to the clarinets is to get your snobby heads out of the ground and realize that they are not all that great and certainly not a good enough instrument to challenge the power of the trumpet. Thats not to say that all clarinet players are stuck up jerks. I know one girl I met on the net named Alex who is a former clarinetist and is a very cool person. Still the majority of clarinet players are mean no good dorks who persecute trumpets. Similar instruments to clarinets like the bass clarinet players are also jerks. One bass clarinet player I know thinks he is a big shot and isn't. He will insult you and act like everyone likes him but they won't. Because of the rudeness of the clarinets has made them make us offically against them.
This group includes only the tenor sax and the berry sax. No alto sax has every been rude to me so I have not listed them. I hold a special grudge against the tenor sax who one day was real insulting. I had just received a new part I had never seen. At the time my lip was cut and I was in the process of changing embochure. The part in addition was in my upper range. My fellow trumpets and I started playing this piece and it was just horrible. We just didn't get it. Although now I can play the part flawlessly. Well the Tenor sax who changed instruments just to get in our higher band started insulting us. He said, "trumpets suck. The first trumpets can't even play their part," along with other phrases which were very rude. The berry sax player who we trumpets in my section have nicked-named berry sax is not rude or insulting I just don't like him. He is very annoying and will sometimes say that the trumpets are no good(not that he is). We have decided to declare ourselves against the berry sax and tenor sax in addition to the bassoons and clarinets.
If you are a trumpet player and think that we should declare ourselves against another instrument group join the TRUMPET REVOLUTION then email me and tell me why we should go against this group.
Hey everyone don't take this too seriously I created the page for laughs. Most the people I mentioned are friends of mine.
Email: goldcornet@aol.com
