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Gypsy Switch

This was certainly interesting to write. I knew I had to reuse Madam Maive after Kurt mentioned the possiblity of seeing her again in Quadrilateral. Also, I was asked at the time of posting Adopting a Pet if there would be a sequel to that story, wondering what ever happened to Cornflakes the kitten. Well, here's your answer.

" Ewwwww!" Kurt moaned.

" What?" Evan asked. He watched as Kurt changed the channels with his tail and caressed his dear sweet kitten, Cornflakes on his lap with his hands. Cornflakes was a stray grey kitten he, Evan and Kitty had found outside. Kitty wanted to keep it...but Cornflakes had taken to Kurt, officially becoming soley his kitten. She slept in his room, followed him almost everywhere...and seemed to have feline conversations with him. Evan often joked that is Cornflakes were human, she would be Kurt's fuzzy dream girl.

" Smurfs."

" Smurfs?"

Kurt pointed to the television. Evan arched a brow, " Right."

" Smurfs?" Kitty laughed, " Like, millions of minature Kurts."

Kurt smiled, " I'm Fuzzy Smurf." He recieved the laughs he was seeking. Cornflakes gave a purr and a mew, as though also amused. Evan suddenly gasped, " We're gonna be late for school!" All jolted upward. Cornflakes hissed and bounded off as they darted out the door.

***At School***

Kurt ran up the steps, almost making the door when something flew out at him, knocking him down. The bell rang! He was late...again!

" Vas?!" He looked into his lap and saw Toad, a bit disoriented and very unhappy. " Thanks for breaking my fall," he said in a semi-slurred voice from his lap. A couple of football players peeked out the door and laughed at him.

" Man," Kurt began, helping Toad to his feet, " if I were you, I'd seriously think about self-defense classes."

***After lunch***

" Five....four....three...two.." Evan counted from the doorway, peeking at his watch. Pietro zipped in front of him when he said three, but Evan didn't notice until he hit two. Pietrosighed with relief and took a step forward..and the bell rang! He hadn't even put a foot in yet.

" No! No!Nononononononono! Not again!" He screamed, pounding himself against a locker. Evan let out a laugh. Pietro had been late for class every day that week. And, though no big deal for the normal person, he found it utterly amusing for the speed demon to be.....slow.

" Late again, Mr. Maximoff," The teacher smiled, walking past him. She took him by the ear and dragged him into class while Evan snickered. Evan's attention was averted to a sudden knocking noise. And a familiar but muffled voice called out, " Anyone out there? Pietro? Hello?"

Evan opened a nearby locker and Toad fell out. He quickly got into a squat and scouted the hall and turned back to Evan, " Is Duncun gone?"

" I think so," Evan snickered. Seemed the Brotherhood was having a bad day today. Toad gave a nervous nod and leaped off.

***Elsewhere***

" Ah, there you are," Madam Maive smiled, looking into her crystal ball. " The ever famous Kurt Wagner and my new enemy, Todd Tolansky. Both of you will pat dearly for the humiliation I've suffered."

She saw Kurt walking outside from his locker. He had a free period and wanted to read under a tree. Toad was in the boys' locker room, after finishing his PE class. Quickly Madam Maive cast a spell.

***Boys' Locker Room***

" Ack! Vas?" Toad looked around. Toad? " Mein Gott!" He screamed. Kurt was in Toad's body! " I'm the Toad!"

Someone grabbed him from behind. He let out a yelp as he came face to face with Duncun.

" You get out of your locker, Toadie? Look, you broke a sweat. Let's get you showered up!"

" Kurt" was smashed against the wall in the showers and drenched under freezing water. In a sudden act of defence, " Kurt" felt Toad's body giving off a sickening urge. He had never known it in his own body. And, without thinking, he spit! Goop plastered itself to Duncun's face and " Kurt" was dropped.

" I gotta find me!" He panted as he leaped off.

***Kurt's Body***

" Toad" looked around. How'd he get here? Where'd the locker room go? He scratched an itch... and felt fur! He ran into the restroom and examined himself. In the mirror, he saw someone else. He was in Nightcrawler's body! The door opened and in hopped his real body!

" What the heck happened?!" " Toad" hissed at " Kurt."

" I don't know?! But, I don't like it! This body is so...ick."

" Watch it, Fuzzy!" " Toad" scolded, " That body may not be much, but it's mine! Better than this flea-ridden body of yours!"

" I don't have fleas!"

They looked at each other. What were they to do now? What if the X-Men or Brotherhood found out? Hey, what if..... " Toad" got an idea. " Hey, Kurt. Since I'm you and you're me, maybe we can have a little fun."

" How so?"

" I need some....well...a little bit of a boost in the respect department."

" Kurt" gave an unsure nod.

" You know how to fight too."

Another nod.

" Maybe you could boost my rep a bit?"

" Vas? And what's in it for me?"

" Toad" thought on that, " I dunno, we'll think of something."

***Later***

" Kurt" cast out his tongue and grabbed something. He was testing the ability out, " Ack!"

" What?" " Toad" asked.

" I....can....taste....everything."

" Toad" shook his head and reached for an apple in the tree he was sitting in.

" Dude, use your tail...I mean...my tail."

" Toad" sighed as he swung the tail about.

" Ack!"

" What now?!"

" Dude, I swallowed a bug! Oh, how nasty!" He shook his head, " Ack, Nein! Go get me a toothbrush!"

" Order me about again, mammal-boy, and you won't have any teeth to brush!"

" They're your teeth, so who cares?!"

***After School***

" Get in here!" Ms. Darkholme hissed. " Kurt" stepped in. " Mr. Tolansky, is there some reason for you sudden outburst of unbridled creativity today?"

" Kurt" gave a shrug. He had made a pest of himself today. Seems Toad was in for a ton of scraps today and " Kurt" felt it a nice gesture to help him out. He won every scrap and sent his bullies off running. Mystique closed the door.

" You've been holding out on us, haven't you?"

" Kurt" shrugged again.

" Why didn't you tell me you could fight?"

" Oh, I....didn't...want to...brag," From " Kurt," trying to sound like Toad.

" Brag nothing." She smiled, ‘ Suit up! I got an assignment for you boys. Meet me back here in one hour."

***Brotherhood***

" Toadie, what took you so long?" Pietro asked.

" Mystique," " Kurt" replied calmly. He wasn't sure how to behave. " She..."

" Wants us to suit up and meet her in her office in an hour? Uh huh, I know."

" Kurt" got dizzy from the speedy talk.

" Well, hop to it, Toad-Boy!" Pietro said quickly, " We got work to do."

With that, Pietro zipped off.

" What he say?"

***Xavier's Mansion***

" Kurt, you've been acting funny all day. You okay?" Jean asked. German....German....German.....oh well, " I'm fine."

" You've been quiet."

" Thinking."

Jean narrowed her eyes at him. " Toad" felt nervous. Jean sensed something was different. Something was odd about the fuzzy one today. But, fortunately for him, she didn't persue it. He let out a relieved sigh when she walked away. He saw Cornflakes bound over to him. She mewed and cocked her head at him. He reached down to pet her and....she bit him! She got on her toes and hissed. Her fur and her tail...all on end. She hissed and swiped at him with her claws and zipped off. Evan leaned over the couch, " Ready for a tail lashing?" He held out a joystick.

" Huh?"

" Y'know. Wrestling Video Match. The game you always lose! Care to try your luck?"

" Toad" saw his chance to do something in slight repayment for Kurt helping him. He smiled, " Okay, sure." It was just like spending a day with Pietro. He and Evan were the perfect pair.

" Toad" had a great advantage. Pietro owned this game too. And, like Evan, Pietro had challenged him several time to play. Over the few weeks they played non-stop, Toad had become a supreme expert and master of all wrestlers and secret moves. He could beat Pietro effortlessly any time with any wrestler at any time. It was a good reason Pietro never wanted to play that game with him anymore.

" Hey, how'd you do that?!" Evan yelped.

" Tonight's not your lucky night, Daniels!"

" Did you just refer to me by my last name?"

" D-I got caught up in the moment. Sorry."

" Toad" gave Evan's character a little bit of this...and a little bit of that...and won.

" You beat me! I've never lost to you before!" Evan gasped.

" You can say I'm not my usual self today."

***Brotherhood***

" I can't believe it!" Pietro cheered, " I haven't been able to beat you at Wrestling Video Match in ages!"

Pietro and " Kurt" were coincidentally playing the same game at the same time. Pietro obviously won the match. " Kurt" lowered his head.

" Hey!" Lance called to them, " Let's go! We're going to be late!"

Pietro and " Kurt" turned to him, sighed, shrugged and stood up.

***Mystique's Office***

" Not again," Lance sighed.

" Is there a problem, Mr. Alvers?"

" No offense, Boss-Lady," Pietro began. " But, we've tried that before. So far, only two of us have been able to get into that place and get out with our heads. Me and Swamp Thing over here."

I was in there too!" Mystique reminded.

" Yeah, but you used Juggernaut to help you in," " Kurt" pointed out, remembering the experience.

Mystique cast him an evil glare. She was somewhat surprised to see he had no reaction to that stare. He stood there calmly as if she were no threat to him. Usually he'd wince back and let out a whine.

" So why again?" Pietro asked.

" Toad will get us in."

" Vas?!" " Kurt" slipped. He quickly recieved glances. Did he just speak German? Whoops. He looked around the room, " Vase!" He laughed, " I meant vase. Is that a new one over there, Mystique? It's very nice."

Mystique arched a brow, " Uhm...yeah. Uhm...thank you for noticing."

***Xavier's Mansion***

" Suit up!" Scott ordered, " We got company!"

" Toad" skipped about. " Man, how does he get this thing on?!" He was having trouble with Nightcrawler's costume. He put it on backwards the first time. When he got it on right, he adjusted it to be comfortable and headed after the others.

***Outside***

" Kurt" saw Kitty. He would never attack his teammates. But, maybe..he could have a little bit of fun. He hopped in front of Kitty and cast out his tongue, licking the side of her face, making her trip backwards onto her bum. She was dazed a moment.

" Like....what the?"

" Catch an eye full, creep!" Cyclops called out, shooting him, knocking him aside.

" No!" " Toad" screamed, " Not the face! Not the face!" He recieved odd glances.

" Get up!" Quicksilver called to " Kurt."

" Look," " Kurt" sighed, sitting up, " Maybe it hurt. Did you ever think of that? Y'know, if you moved normal speed like the resth...." Talking fast was impossible for this body. He stuck out his tongue and tried desperately to untie the knot that had formed. He was tongue-tied! Quicksilver arched a brow and stepped back, a little....worried...about his teammate. Why was he acting funny?

Avalanche approached " Toad." " Time to..."

" Oh, shut up, Lance! I know! Rock and Roll! I know!"

The battle slowed. Attention was often focused between Kurt and Toad. Quicksilver dashed by, making his way to Kitty.

" Nein!" " Kurt" cried and cast out his tongue, grabbing, amazingly, Pietro by the ankles and "roped" him up.

" Hey! Lemme go! Lemme go, Slime-bucket! Whattaya doing?!"

" Now why didn't I ever think of doing that?" " Toad" smiled, amused.

" Because you don't have a tongue like that," Evan remarked.

" Huh? Oh...yeah...uhm..silly me."

The battle stopped. Both teams glanced at each other. Something wasn't right.

" What's going on?!' Pietro demanded.

" Why are you two acting wierd?!" Scott chimed in.

" Well," From " Kurt," " We are switched. I'm Kurt and he's Todd....uhm...in my body."

" Get outta here!" Lance scoffed.

" Ich bin ein Nightcrawler!" " Kurt" argued with an enraged squeak.

" Uhm," From " Toad." " Whatever he said!"

" Toad?" Evan leaned forward towards " Kurt." " Uhm, sprechen se Deutch?"

" Ja!" From a relieved " Kurt."

" What?" From " Toad."

" See?! Ich sprechen Deutch!"

Pietro tripped over, dizzy from confusion. Lance helped him up. " Whoa."

" I believe him," Kitty smiled, " Like, only Kurt would be so bold as to lick my face....uhm...if he were to lick my face. That was, like, disgusting."

" He hasn't teleported since he got hom," Scott observed.

" And he beat me at Wrestling Video Match." From Evan.

" Oh man!" Pietro cried out. He plopped down and moped. Unfortunately, it was on his ankle, which had just healed from his encounter with four Toads not too long before. The plop pulled the ankle out of joint again. He let out a screetch! His running ability was out of commission....again. He suddenly felt something rub against him. He looked over and saw a little grey kitten.

" How did Cornflakes get outside?" From " Kurt." He had become quite overprotective of his little baby kitten.

" Who's Cornflakes?" " Toad" asked. He saw the kitten, " Oh, that's Cornflakes." She bounded over to " Toad: and cocked her head to one side and hissed, throwing a horrible fit. She zipped over to Pietro and then saw " Kurt" crouching down. She approached him slowly and cocked her head again. She mewed and rubbed up against him, purring madly.

" That's why she was so nasty to me!" " Toad" pointed out, " She knew I wasn't you!"

" What happened?!" Jean asked. " Kurt" glanced up at her, " Only one person is able to do something like this to us...and has a motive. Would you believe in Madam Maive?"

Pietro let out another screetch, " No! Not that crazy gypsy lady! Man, she made me break my ankle! Man, and it popped out of the socket again! Ouch!"

" You didn't break it!" " Toad" corrected. " You only disconnected it from the joint. Man, yer fine. The doctor told you it was too soon for you to walk without support, but no, you and your pride you just had to go and do your own thing. Now look, you hurt yourself again! Now, you're gonna whine and cry like a baby for another couple of weeks. Geez!"

Evan let out a laugh. Pietro sneered at him, " Shut up, Daniels!"

" So, how do we change you back?" Scott asked.

" How about blood brothers?" Lance suggested with a shrug.

" C'mon, Lance. This isn't the time for rediculous jokes." From Scott.

" In times of desperation," Lance argued, " one should be willing to give the rediculous a try. Besides, I didn't hear you give any better ideas."

" I have to bleed?" " Toad" yelped. Pietro rolled his eyes as he rubbed his dislocated ankle, " You should be used to it by now."

" But..." " Kurt" tried to argue. At that moment, Lance created a tremor, tripping he and Toad off balance. Both bodies fell towards each other, banging their heads and noses began to bleed.

***A Few Moments Later***

Toad and Kurt got up. Kurt touched his face, " Ack! This blood is gonna stick to my fuzz!"

" Man," Toad groaned, " I had a harder skull than I thought."

Jean handed them wet tissues. Both seemed alright and fairly grateful. Cornflakes mewed happily and leaped onto her master's fuzzy head. Both smiled at each other and became startled at the next sight. Evan helped Pietro up and both approached them. Pietro used Evan as a crutch. Both, in angry unison demanded, " I want a Wrestling Video Match rematch!"

END

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