Till For President Part 2
After Till downed a bottle of Smirnof,He went outside on the balcony. Below the balcony was the largest crowed he had ever seen in his life. He couldn't believe it. He had performed in front of thousands,but this time,there must have been a million people! There were many signs that said things such as,"Till Lindemann:Germany's Premier President." But there were also protest signs such as,"Till:Are You My Daddy?" As he approached the podium,he thought to himself,"Oh my Gott!! Zis is vurst hangover ever!! I vish I vere dead. Or at least remember vat happened." After a long pause,Till stumbled around and slurred,"Vow! I zought zis vould never happen to me! A loud thunderous cheer came from the crowd. "Vell,I don't know vere to start. Zee,I haf confession to make-I don't remember how zis happened,but I'm honored to be your President." An even louder applause errupted."Vat!"Till exclaimed,"You don't care?" A loud cheer was heard once more. Someone in the distance shouted,"Meister President,You are ze best President ve ever had!" Till belched and responded,"But I haf only been President for a few days. Und during zat time,I vas passed out." Another gentleman shouted,"Und you are still ze best!!"As the crowd went crazy Till thought to himself,"Zis is going to be easy! I Haf zese people in ze palm of mein hand! At zis rate,I vill rule ze world!! All ze Vomen vill vorship me!! At that moment,without warning,Till blacked out. Till ran about frantically,"I can't zee!! Und I haf to zrow up!!" Till,in his disoriented state,felt the urge to purge,leaned over and puked on the crowd below!! There was an awkward silence. Some time passed and a large,burly man broke the silence,"Our President has desicrated us!! Let's kill him!" A riot broke out instantly. Till ran like hell. He was huffing and running out of breath from years of smoking. (obviously the at-one-time ladies man, and former swimming "chapion" was falling apart) He was pissing, puking, and shitting on himself. Then he found a "secret" passage in the building which took him underground. Since then,he hasn't been seen. Some say he went to Australia. Others say he had a sex-change. There is even speculation of a decoy. Whatever the reason,we may never know.
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