Chapter 26

© Copyright 2007 by Elizabeth Delayne

Meredith carried her suitcase outside and slipped it in her open trunk. It was a hot August day, the sun so hot she could almost hear the rays sizzle as they hit the ground. She wiped the sweat from her brow, then stepped back from the trunk, hands on her hips, flipping through the sporadic, but detailed list in her mind.

She had packed her art supplies, canvases—unfinished. Rechecking her mental list one more time, she knew she was ready to go. She still hesitated.

Closing the trunk, she turned and frowned at the professional For Sale sign staked in the middle of her yard.

It looked ... lonely, out of place. It had only been a few days since she, Kelly and Britt had put the sign up, hefting it into place like the soldiers raised the flag at Iwo Jima. It had been a victory, between the three of them, a moment where they’d let go together.

Still, it was hard to believe that she was doing the right thing, making the right changes. Hopefully the trip to Dallas would answer her questions. She planned to look into some clinics for her mother, following the doctor’s most recent advice, see about a school for Britt to attend, drop by her boss’s office to go over her work and ideas.

Then she planned to bury herself in her apartment, to escape into the silence and familiarity for a moment of peace, time to pray, to cry for Chad and all the constructed agonies that still hurt.

She loved him, she knew that now, but she was ready to make the changes he had not waited for her to make.

She sighed and started back into the house. Brittany and Kelly were staying with Joanna, she had hired a nurse to stay with her mom. It was time, past time, to go.

The rattle of a vehicle outside made her pause just as she opened the side door, feeling her heartbeat leap. The sound was a familiar clatter of an old van. She turned, slowly, and watched the van come to a standstill in her driveway, heard the silence as the ignition died.

Then Chad stepped out of his van. His eyes were on the For Sale sign. The unguarded pain tore at Meredith. It was his fault, she reminded herself, as much his fault as it was her own.

Finally, he shut the door of his van and turned, meeting Meredith’s eyes. Without speaking, he walked toward her, stopping only feet from her.

“You’re selling the house.”

The statement tarried between them. Chad swallowed against the sudden panic.

“We put it on the market.”

Chad nodded, “You were just going to leave?”

“What did you expect me to do?” she asked him, hurt and confused, holding onto her pride when she wanted to crumble in relief.

“You walked out of this house two weeks ago, angry because I wasn’t making decisions fast enough for you. I haven’t seen you since.”

“I needed some time.”

“I was willing to give that. I needed to think, to get my life and priorities in order as well, but it didn’t seem like you wanted to be a part of those priorities—to help me make the decisions you were pushing me to make.”

“I didn’t realize that ...” he struggled over the words, over the apology.

“I didn’t think it mattered,” she gave in to her need and reached out, taking his hand in hers. He met her eyes. “I’m going to Dallas tonight to really think about everything, to get a perspective on all possible changes. We need to talk, Chad, and I supposed we should do that before I leave.”

Inside Chad stopped her and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her soft hair.

“I’ve missed you,” he muttered, sighing a little when her arms came around him.

Surprised, but welcoming his embrace, she pressed her face against his blue work shirt. “I wanted to tell you—to talk to you, to hear your voice, your advice. I just wasn’t sure you wanted to know, wanted to deal with the situation anymore. I didn’t know if you were ready...”

He cupped her face between his large hands, looked into the solemn Irish green eyes, “Dallas was your home a few months ago—is that home for you now?”

Carefully, as if afraid his skin would burn her, she reached up and pressed her fingertips against his cheek, slowly tracing his jaw line. His eyes never left hers.

“I don’t know. I’m no longer sure where home is. Maybe months ago I would have called Dallas my home. Now ...” She shrugged and leaned back against his firm chest. “Since coming back to Glendale I’ve changed. I just don’t know how much.”

Chad wiped a tear carefully away with his thumb. “Have I messed things up for us?”

“It’s not all your fault,” Meredith whispered, completely missing the look of fear that overcame him. Her words sounded so final. “I was just as afraid of letting you help me. I was afraid of being dependent on you, and then running out of reasons to need you.”

Chad shut his eyes as the emotions rolled over him. He felt the release and the pain, “I never thought I could feel this way—anything like this again. It surprised me, made me cautious where I shouldn’t have been. You don’t ever need to run out of reasons to need me, unless you don’t need my love.”

Her breath hitched and she smiled, finally, her Irish green eyes sparkling, “You love me?”

“Didn’t I just say I did?” He asked, with a tender smile. “You’re everything, baby—you, your family. I need you, I love you. It’s different then before, strong and whole, but it’s not whole without you. I’m not whole without you.”

Tenderly, she touched a hand to his cheek, “Chad, if you’re asking if I love you, I do—love you.”


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