Chapter 17

© Copyright 2007 by Elizabeth Delayne

On Sunday afternoon, Joanna and Rod spent their last few minutes together of the beautiful weekend. He had to leave by three so that he could get to Dallas in time to catch a plane. He would be in Minnesota for the majority of the next week.

Joanna sighed softly, sitting next to him on her old sofa. Looking out the window she could see his car parked next to her truck. Inside, his navy pinstripe suit was draped neatly over her arm chair from when he had changed after they ate with the Copelands. He seemed like he belonged ... and she could get used to having him around.

Rod slipped his arm around her and squeezed her against him. “You’ve grown quiet.”

Joanna turned and looked into his eyes and smiled weakly, but she could not speak. She was not sure what she should say. They had been talking all day and there was so much more they could have talked about, but the silence continued. She knew she would miss him. How much more lonely would she feel when she was alone again, walking through the halls of her empty house, seeing him sitting in her living room, watching T.V. or waiting for her ... .

Rod seemed to understand. He touched her right temple with his index finger and drew an imaginary line down to her jaw. “You know you’re welcome at mom and dad’s anytime.”

“Yeah,” Joanna told him with a gentle smile, “I know.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

Joanna smiled, “Me too,” she whispered. Her eyes drifted over her living room that would seem empty and lonely within the hour. “I think you’ve ruined my whole life.” She sat up and met his questioning eyes with a smile. “This whole place is going to feel empty without you, and to think that just over a month ago, I was fine with everything the way it was, and if I thought of you, well—”

“I know, I know,” Rod teased, “you nearly gagged short of death.”

Joanna laughed. “You don’t know how close you are to the truth, Bud,” her eyes were filled with a wonderful laughter that Rod was growing to love. “You were about as far away as, well, as Bethany is, and I never let myself think we would ever truly be friends or ... fall in love.”

Rod smiled and reached for her hands. “I like the sound of that. You know,” Joanna melted under the content look in his eyes, “I don’t know how I lived without you before. God really worked a miracle, don’t you think? I was also satisfied with my life before and now, well, you’re such a part of my life ... and my heart.”

Rod reached up and rubbed her cheek gently, the look in his eyes direct and loving. She smiled into his blue eyes thanking God for the man who held her heart.

They walked outside together, Joanna’s hand in Rod’s left and his right carrying his suit over his shoulder. He turned to her after hanging his suit in his car and starting the engine. His hand found the charm bracelet and his eyes watched as he turned it slowly around her wrist. When he stopped, he looked up and met her eyes with a deep, content smile. “Don’t be lonely, Joanna. I’ll still be here for you.”

Rod leaned back against his car and drew her close, still holding her hands. “Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote that ‘God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.’” He smiled, and drew her into his arms, her head resting against his lean shoulder. “I have to agree with her.”

Joanna beamed, “I’ll see you in two weeks.”

“Two—lets say less than two,” he told her. “You’re going to be the hit of the party.”

Minutes later, as Joanna watched him drive away, she realized that even with him gone, her heart would never hold the amount of loneliness it had before. God truly had given her a gift. Joanna’s heart could not measure the delight she felt when she was in his arms.

She thought about her dreams, dreams she never would have thought would come to bear fruit, and smiled. “Well, Mrs. Browning,” she said aloud as she turned toward the house, the charm bracelet rubbing against her arm, “I think you were right, and I can’t say that I’m disappointed that you were.”

❊ ❊ ❊

Two weeks later Joanna arrived at Rod’s apartment, armed with her makeup bag, curling iron, and a dress she splurged on when she finally received her paycheck. It had been on the clearance rack, possibly left over from the previous summer sale. After performing a simple alteration on the awkward hem, it looked perfect.

The midnight-blue, silk dress started with tank sleeves, then sloped down into a simple ‘A’-pleated skirt, stopping just above her knees in the new, careful hem she’d hand stitched. Helen’s pearl necklace complimented the round neckline perfectly, complete with the pearl earings she also loaned Joanna.

Pulling Steven’s car into the garage for the second time in her life, Joanna found a parking space, took a deep breath and quickly opened her door before she could turn around and leave. I’m going to be okay, she told herself and climbed out, dragging her carry-all with her on the way.

Two weeks ago, when Rod had asked her to joined him for an office party, Joanna had been pleased. She looked forward to meeting Rod’s friends and co-workers. They were part of his life. She was part of his life.

But reality seemed to catch up to her. She wasn’t in business, from Dallas, and she didn’t known much of what in meant. What would they think of her? She was neither a sophisticated business woman, nor a good mingler. Since college, she had almost inhibited herself by staying in Glendale.

But Joanna knew she could not let Rod down, no matter what the reason. She was about to enter his life, and if she wanted to be a part of it, she would have to succeed in his world.

By eight o’clock, Joanna’s nerves were giving her a headache. Dinner with just Rod had been wonderful. It was only until they were separated at the party that Joanna nearly lost control. Rod had more than complimented her on her looks, but next to Rod’s friends she felt inferior. The room was full of sophisticated people. It wasn’t just in the things they wore, but in how they carried themselves and how they talked.

As if behind a glass wall, she watched them move around, trying to mingle.

Rod was over near a fancy two-room penthouse fireplace, talking to some associates. The woman was the essence of femininity. She had long, silky blond hair, thin ankles and legs that looked even better in her three-inch heals.

Joanna forced herself not to look down at her own legs in comparison. She had a bruise on one knee —barely camouflaged by her hose—from nearly tripping over one of her nephews during a basketball game. She was muscular and thin, but she was not the beautiful hour glass shape that she saw on the other women in the room. She did not have that feminine pose ... that look.

You look great.

The words came as if spoken. Joanna looked around, but there was no one around her that appeared to have spoken to her.

Joanna sighed. God, I’m sorry. I haven’t been trying to talk to you all night. I need you, Father. I can’t handle this at all, because I’m letting it get me down. I need strength. I need a friend. I need to be reminded that this party will not affect my relationship with Rod ...

But even as Joanna prayed, she could not get the sinking feeling out of her stomach. Rod needed a wife that could support him in his daily functions. Can I? she asked herself, her eyes roaming the crowd all over again.

Suddenly, a feeling, slight, but daring shook her system. Joanna swallowed as she realized what she was saying.

Hadn’t she recently been in a crash course of her high school years? Where had the confident high school vice president and one of the top soft ball pitchers from high school gone?

Where was the energetic college student who was friends with everyone? When had she let go of those qualities that made her know she was likable ... and yes, made her a great mingler.

Besides, Rod loved her. He loved her.

Taking a deep breath, Joanna stepped mentally away from the fences in her mind. She felt herself shaking, but she was remembering who she could be. Rod’s life was only a few paces away.

You know me, she reminded God, you created me in my mother’s womb. You remember me at my worst and my best. Remind me. Help me to remember how to be the woman you created me to be.

The woman you created for Rod.

“Hi,” she stated to the first woman she came in contact with, “I’m Joanna Berkley.”

“Joanna!” The woman exclaimed with a smile as she stood there in her expensive dress and perfume, dangling earrings sparkling. “My goodness, I was wondering when Rod was going to bring you around. He talks about you all the time,” she laughed and then leaned toward Joanna to whisper, “we were suspicious that he was making you up.”

Joanna laughed, feeling most of her anxieties disappear. “Well, I’m suspicious to wonder if the Joanna he talked about is the one who is real.”

The woman laughed and Joanna soared. ❊ ❊ ❊

“Have I told you how you charmed everyone tonight—how jealous half the men in the room were that you were my date?” They were outside of his parent’s house on the wicker furniture, enjoying the quiet and the moonlight.

Joanna only rolled her eyes, but felt her heart swell.

“I think you’re a little prejudice.”

“I have proof to the contrary. Johnny Flipton told me you were the hit of the party,” Rod smiled and reached out to find her hand in the semi darkness. “I was worried about you for a little while, but you hung in there. That Berkley umph came back.”

Joanna smiled. Once she had gotten over her initial nerves, and finally turned herself and the night over to God, things became easier. Letting God take the fears, she had been able to listen to others and learn more about Rod. He was respected and even adored by one older woman.

“I have to apologize to you, though.”

“Why?”

“I think—no, I know I could have made things easier for you. Grace was a little disappointed in me, because I didn’t invite you up here earlier to have dinner with just them. You would have at least known and felt comfortable with them. She told me that I dumped you in on a party of rats and left you to fiend for yourself.”

“Well,” Joanna countered, “it gave me a chance to get to know your friends—”

“Not all of those people are my friends, Joey. You met Grace and Johnny. They’re probably my best friends in the world, but with company change overs and the fact that I’m the boss, really skews perceptions on both sides.”

Rod squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you got the chance to know Grace. She really thought you were a true gem. Told me more than once that I’d better not let you go. I had to agree with her.”

Joanna blushed. “I happen to think she was the incredible one.”

“You know, I’ve wanted you to meet her for weeks, so I don’t know why I didn’t think of asking you here for a dinner with just them.”

“I think you’ve had plenty of things on your mind,” she reminded him, thinking of his lack of peace about staying with his company. They had talked about his feelings, plans and dreams a good deal, but neither was left with a sense of preparation or answers.

“You know, I only have one thing on my mind right now.”

“Do you?” Joanna smiled at the light that glittered in his eyes.

“Umm-hmm,” Rod told her, the party and everything else almost miles away from him now.


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