Chapter 38

© Copyright 2014 by Elizabeth Delayne



Jamie let herself into her hotel room aware that Rose followed behind. She rubbed her hands over her face and sighed, tired down to her bones. Her eyes felt gritty and her limbs numb.

Regret. For the first time she felt major regret over her own actions. There was a part of her that wanted to change into something more normal and go out to talk to Tyler without the trappings of glamour or the cameras. But she didn’t need to take the weariness with her.

She spotted the dress when she shut the door; the red dress with the black details. It was in a clear dress bag laying on her bed. She unpinned the note that was attached.

Just in case was all it said. She highly doubted the “just in case” would be left up to her to decide.

She hung it up before she began the ritual of pealing the Cinderella from herself, first taking the pins from her hair and letting it fall. The day had felt magic, all the way until the end. The producers had played fairy god-mothers, and twirled their magic around creating them and the atmosphere around them.

It was no wonder that the clock struck midnight and it all unraveled.

They had timed it, she thought as she looked at the clock and noticed the time all over again, down to the minute. She was sure the Cinderella-type theme would be playing on the episode.

At least she still had both her shoes, she thought and smiled for the first time as she kicked them off and settled on her bare feet.

She took the dress off and hung it up carefully and was just about to slide it into the bag they’d been given when her phone rang. She nearly didn’t answer it, but when she noticed it was Felicity she figured she should at least let her friend know she was okay.

But when she answered the phone, it wasn’t Felicity who was worried about her.



Jamie tugged her hair back into a ponytail and slid into the shorts and t-shirt she’d been wearing much of the day. The only thing that stopped her was Rose, who reminded her to slide on the mike pack. She did, only because it saved time not arguing. She was downstairs waiting when the taxi pulled up outside and she spotted the teal of Felicity’s dress. She paid the cab driver as Felicity hurried inside without her.

She’d called Tyler on her way down, just in case. He slid out of the shadows as Jamie came in.

“She headed upstairs, along with Rose.”

“For once we weren’t the main attraction,” Jamie hesitated a moment and then just stepped close enough to lean into Tyler. She felt his arm come up and around her as he pressed a kiss against the top of her head.

“I’m so tired,” she murmured.

“I know.”

He whispered a prayer over her, and she marveled that just for a moment, there in his arms, it was like she was just simply under that prayer.

She sighed and stepped away. “For what its worth, whatever happened between her and Cameron and why he left her at some cagey club in parts unknown ... she didn’t look hurt. She looked...”

“Angry.”

Jamie nodded. “Yeah. Disappointed, angry. Tired. I’m kind of glad she’d more angry than defeated.”

She reached out, took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I need to go...”

Their hands stayed clasped a moment longer as she hesitated, but it wasn’t time for them, and she wasn’t sure what words she had to say if she said them.

Tyler and his prayer stayed with her as she headed upstairs and entered her hotel room. Felicity had already discarded the teal gown in favor of her standard t-shirt fabric shorts and tank that she slept in. She’d gone in and started washing the extensive makeup from her face, which Jamie realized she’d never had a chance to do. What a look she’d had downstairs in her shorts and tee.

The dress lay haphazardly on the bed. Jamie picked it up and went through the motions of putting it away more to give Felicity the time she’d needed than to protect the expensive gown.

She heard Felicity turn off the water and sigh heavily.

“You all right?” Jamie asked her.

Felicity stepped out of the bathroom. She cast a weary glace at Rose and the running camera, but only sighed. “Yeah. I just feel so stupid.”

“What happened?”

“The short story?” she asked as she moved toward the bed to sit down. “I let Cameron talk me into leaving. He said he knew a great place to hang out, but what he was really doing was going out to meet his friends. He was distracted. I should have realized he wasn't being real with me because he was so distracted.”

“And leave you behind.”

“He didn’t even want me there. It was this crowded, stuffy, dark bar. I stood out like... I don’t know. I almost glowed in that stupid dress. And he left me there. He and his friends slipped out and were able to do so because the camera guy was focused on me getting lost in that crowd, in that dress. I’m sure he’s having a good laugh about it now.”

“Something’s going on with him,” Jamie acknowledged. “Why would he take you with him only to ditch you? That’s just...”

“He had a plan. Obviously, he didn’t want to be there dancing. That’s all he could talk about. So he starts talking about how they had pulled some of the camera crew to shoot exteriors and you know, pieces of the whole production. We only had one camera person on us, only one who went with us, and I think he thought that if he left me there the camera would stay with me, but he didn’t--which does make me a little happy. I don't know if the camera guy caught up to them. I just know he left me. So I was alone. Glowing like some piece of radioactive material.”

Jamie forced back the grin. The truth was, while nothing had happened, Felicity could have been in danger.

“I’m so thankful there was a cab there when I went outside. And that I had my cell phone. You know he even had me pay the cab driver when we got to the club. That’s why I didn’t have the money to come back. It’s like he did it on purpose. Look at poor, pitiful Felicity. She doesn’t even suspect that she’s going to look like a big old dolt.”

“If anyone is going to look bad,” Jamie sat down next to her and dropped an arm around her, “it’s going to be Cameron.”

Felicity scoffed. “Are you kidding? I’ve never been to New York City. I’d never ridden in a cab before this show, and I’ve never been in one by myself. I’ve never even thought about being in New York City alone. I was freaking out and there’s Cameron. He’s traveled. He’s the cool kid with friends everywhere. How do you think I’m going to look?”

“Honest, loyal.”

“Try gullible, stupid.”

“Felicity. You’ve had a brain on your shoulders this whole time. You’ve loved the show, you’re a fan, and you’ve been honest about it. As far as I know, you’ve been honest about everything and you’ve never been anything less than supportive of anyone on this journey. He doesn’t deserve your friendship,” Jamie argued.

“So what am I supposed to do now?”

“Be yourself. Don’t worry about what he thinks. And know that you’ve got four other people on this journey with you that have your back.”

She nodded slowly, even though her forehead was still creased with worry. Finally, she pushed up. “We should get some sleep. We’ve got the talking heads to do tomorrow. And you’ve got plans with Tyler, don’t you?”

Touring New York. She’d nearly forgotten. “I guess I do.”

* * *

With the day being what it had, Jamie wasn’t sure she would sleep, but she did. It was harder to get out of bed for her morning coffee with Tyler.

But she did that as well.

What she found was that the regrets she had didn’t seem to matter. Maybe they would need to talk about it later, after the show ended--if they went that far--but for now Tyler took it in stride. He instead told her about the plans he’d made.

It wasn’t hard to manage her interviews with the producers to get her talking head spots done so she could escape with Tyler. As usual they were both the first ones up and out that morning. Besides, Jamie was sure the producers wanted the footage so they’d made sure to get them in bright and early.

Jamie was up first. There was a lot to go over. From the dance lessons, to the shopping, to Broadway and the dance itself, then finding the other dress on her bed and getting the call from Felicity. In some ways, it was a relief this time to be able to tell what was going on in her head at the dance. They would cut it and edit it, so she was fully aware that even if she said exactly what she wanted, it might not come across that way. She even wondered if they would let her seem settled, as she was with the whole thing.

Explaining and discussing the situation with Felicity was much harder. She was mad a Cameron, but she was also worried about him. Everything he’d been to them and their group was in direct contrast to his behavior. Felicity was fine, but she might not have been. So many things could have happened...

After Jamie came in from breakfast and the interviews, she made a mad dash to change. Off with the familiar khaki shorts and on with her favorite jeans and a button down shirt. She didn’t have a lot of wardrobe to choose from. It was the same shirt she’d worn the day the whole thing began, the day she’d met Tyler. And Felicity and Thessa ... and everything else.

She pulled out of makeup bag and adjusted her look from naturally causal and ready for the camera, to a little bit more ... daytime. Then she packed her orange backpack with a bottle of water, her camera.

She smiled. Perhaps for the first time on this long and odd journey, she felt like a tourist.

Felicity stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in causal shorts and a t-shirt, drying her hair with a towel. “Where are you going?”

“Tyler volunteered to show me around New York. You want to go with us?”

“And interrupt your date with Tyler?” Felicity asked.

“It’s not a date.”

“Boy asks girl out? Boy takes girl some place? Boy has admittedly said he likes said girl?” Felciity said. “That’s a date.”

“Whatever, but you’re welcome anyway.”

“Are you kidding? I already, quite literally, got caught in the middle of you last night and ruined it.”

“You probably saved it. Besides, I wasn’t with him when you called,” she said. “We left early.”

“After you ran into Samantha.”

“More like she ran into me,” Jamie murmured. “Like a wall.”

“I’m sorry. After all that happened last night, I completely forgot about it. I should have had you watch the episodes relating to her after I told you. Then you would have been more prepared.”

“I don’t think I would have ever thought the producers would pull something like that. I mean, it doesn’t surprise me now that it’s happened, but I wouldn’t have thought. It’s supposed to be reality, isn’t it?”

“Maybe before I came on the show I wished this to be reality, but I like my life better. And I think I’ve learned during this whole thing is that the only thing real was the day of the accident. And you really needing your mom after that. That felt real,” Felicity sat down on the bed, then grinned at Jamie. “And this whole thing between you and Tyler. Definitely real.”

Jamie thought about what she’d said the previous evening to Tyler himself and laughed. “Felicity, you really need to meet my grandmother.”

“But not until after the show’s over right?”

“Something like that,” she said.

* * *

It wasn’t surprising that the camera followed them around New York, but it didn’t seem to matter. So maybe it was a date, and if it was, it was one of the most relaxing dates she’d been on in a long time.

They rode the ferry out to the Statue of Liberty, and Tyler told her about the day his father had packed his bags and walked out.

His mother had taken him on a trip out to Liberty Island that day.

As they stood under the statue, staring at the words of Emma Lazarus. Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

“I told her it was the tallest thing I’d ever seen-which, you have to realize is so funny, because I’d seen the Empire State Building before,” he laughed at himself. “Anyway, she said, ‘well God is much bigger than anything you’ll ever see.’ I’ll never forget that.”

He stared up at the statue. “It’s an odd thought, but ... I guess I’ve seen a lot of tall things. Mountains, buildings across the United States. Sometimes I’ll stand there and remember. At Yellowstone, when Old Faithful went up, remember that?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought that. Because we were already struggling through this and it just seemed-“

”That I was trying your patience, being impossible.”

He laughed. “Something like that. And maybe this will make you feel better, because I looked up at Old Faithful and remembered my mother’s words ... and it was like God said, whether or not it was you, he was still with me.”

“That does make me feel better.”

He held up his hands and grinned. “No pressure.”

After Liberty Island, they traveled to the Empire State building, Central Park then to FAO Swartz. They road the subway, and ate in a outdoor market café Tyler had patroned a number of times.

All the while, Jamie took pictures, and Tyler had strangers stop and use her camera to take pictures of them.

Then they just walked, hand in hand through Time’s Square.

“Sometimes, I forget the cameras are there,” she murmured, and looked up into his eyes, “and sometimes, I have to think that there job has to be the most boring job in the world.”

“Sometimes. Though guess they get to see more than you do staring at the operating table on a daily basis.”

“I see people on a daily basis,” she said. “But maybe sometimes I separate myself from that. You have to.”

“Maybe you do. And maybe one of the reasons I’m drawn to you is because you interact with other people like-“

He stopped himself, but Jamie knew where he was going. “Like a mother? Go on, say it.”

“Like a sister,” he corrected. “I was just thinking about something someone said recently. I guess you’d make a good sister. I’ve never had one of those.”

“Changing your mind about me?”

He swung his arm around her as he laughed. “Not on your life. I only said I guess. I just can’t see it for me, but for others ... you really care about people. I don’t think you’ll ever make the category of sister for me.”

“As long as it’s not that mother fixation either,” she said.

“No, but I think you’ll like her. My mother.”

“When do I get to meet her?”

“How bout I take a trip to Iowa after the all this is over and bring her along?”

She wasn't quite sure she was going to return to Iowa and her Grandmother for awhile after this was over, but it seemed unfair to say it on television before she made final plans. She really wanted to see her family and return for awhile to her roots in Chicago. Being on the trip, being on the go, it had changed something in her, or maybe just reminded her of another part of herself.

But Jamie only shook her head at Tyler and pointed out, “You just want to talk to Gran, find out all my secrets.”

He couldn’t help the laugh. “There is that.”
br> "I don't have any secrets by the way. Just in case you're wondering."
br>"I sense a but in there..."
br>Jamie shrugged, "Gram has her ways, that's all."



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