© Copyright 2005 by More Than Novellas

Part II

Rachel Waspe
Aug 12, 05
Funshine999@aol.com

"You're running out of time, Jessie." Scott commented. They were nearly at his aunt's house and so far the journey had been conducted in absolute silence. "Are you going to tell me what your problem is or are you going to suffer my company for the evening? It's your choice."

Deep down he wasn't entirely sure what it was that he wanted her to do. Sure he wanted to know what it was that she hated about him, simply so that he would know what he needed to sort out. But, on the other hand, an evening spent in the same house as Jessie sounded rather appealing and he couldn't quite make up his mind as to which he really wanted most - the information or her company.

* * *

Mrs Brown
August 13, 05
mrsbrown1@optusnet.com.au

Jessie drew in a long breath and looked down at her hands. How could she put into words the confusion she felt? The sudden see-sawing of emotion that had had her dressing carefully for dinner one moment, then flinging the clothes to the floor in annoyance the next. If only she’d known his home number she’d have phoned to cancel . . . commitment or no commitment, and in the end had compromised by choosing what she’d thought was her least flattering dress.

The ticking of the car’s indicator was like a stopwatch counting down the seconds left decide what to do and as Scott pulled slowly into the kerb Jessie took a deep breath. Either she was honest with him now or she had to go ahead with the farce of dinner.

She had been praying about what to do all day since seeing him at breakfast – but none of the Bible verses about trust and generosity that came to her mind particularly appealed to her sense of self protection. She wasn’t ready to trust Scott just because of the inexplicable experiences of one strange day.

The car stopped and Scott turned off the engine, watching her in silence for a few moments more before finally prompting her.

“Jessie?”

“Look, Mr Be- , Scott, it’s not that I hate you or anything . . . I just feel really uncomfortable with this sudden change in the way you’re treating me,” Jessie launched in recklessly, deciding being honest was her only option. “It’s a bit much to suddenly expect me accept all these overtures of friendship after everything that’s happened these last several weeks.”

Scott frowned at her in consternation, “What are you talking about?”

“As if you don’t know! After waltzing in and taking the job I’d been relieving in for nearly a year, then making sure I was demoted to another section well out of your way and giving all the projects I’d poured my heart and soul into to other people to finish up and take the glory on - ”

“I . . . I had no idea. The manager said you’d be pleased to get back to your section – if only I’d known. . . Jessie, can’t you believe you’ve been mistaken in me?”

She looked across at him, her eyes flashing.

“Really? I wasn’t mistaken when I heard you talking behind my back with one of the other managers yesterday! I wouldn’t be surprised if this sudden interest in me is nothing more than winning a bet or something else to further discredit me!”

The moment Jessie spoke those words, she regretted them. Although that was her deepest fear, that he only wanted to further humiliate her, she didn’t honestly believe it of Scott, especially after today. But it was too late to unsay it now.

“If you really have such a low opinion of me, I’m not surprised you don’t want to be in my company,” he replied, throwing open his door and stepping out of the car. “I’ll go in and explain to Aunty Ethyl.”

“Scott!” Jessie cried, and flung open her own door and jumped to her feet, meeting his eyes across the roof of the car. “Please wait. I. . . . I . . . ” she stuttered, not knowing how to repair the hurt she’d just seen in his eyes.

Elizabeth Delayne
Aug 24, 05
lizdelayne@hotmail.com

"Jessie."

She looked so uncertain, that he couldn't turn away from her. So she had her reasons, and she had her fears.

He stepped forward and gently took her upper arms in his hands. He looked down at her, waited until her gaze raised to meet his.

He knew now what she felt ... and while she wasn't unattracted, the fear was a barrier. She feared his intentions, his purpose. She thought he mocked her, when all he'd ever seen in her was potential.

The air was suddenly still, the evening quiet. It was just the two of them ... and all the mixed up memories spread out between them.

Sarah
Sept 2, 05
baughmanks@sbcgobal.net

Scott stood, unable to decide what to do next. Jessie still said nothing, but stood looking up at him with fear and uncertainty and embarrassment and another emotion he could not quite name . . . perhaps hope? He knew what he wanted to do. It was what he had wanted to do for a long time, but never managed to get close enough to her. Inhaling deeply, he imagined the feel of her soft lips under his, her hands slowly sliding up to touch his face, her feet shuffling a bit closer . . .

Clamping down on that trail of thinking, he instead shifted his gaze from her lips back to her eyes and opened his mouth to speak. He did not have a clue as to what he would say, but something, anything had to at least move them from this tense place of uncertainty to a place of knowing . . . what? Suppressing a sigh of impatience and frustration, Scott decided to throw the ball back into her court. She had stopped him, after all.

"What, Jessie?" The setting sun threw part of her face into shadow while lighting the rest of it so that it nearly seemed to glow. The sun's fingers brought out fiery highlights in her hair that Scott had never noticed before. "What would like me to do?"

Scott's ears barely registered the screech of his aunt's screen door opening behind them. He turned to see his great-aunt peeking her head out of the door. Turning back to Jessie, Scott fixed her with an expectant gaze.

Mrs Brown
Sept 2, 05
mrsbrown1@optusnet.com.au
www.tulipfiction.com

"Hey, kids!" Aunt Ethyl's voice made Jessie jump, "Are you going to stand out on the street all night, or are you coming in for some dinner?"

Scott glanced over his shoulder at his aunt, but then returned his gaze to Jessie, the expression in his eyes silently asking, "So, what do you want me to do?"

Jessie tried futilely to think of what to do or say, but her mind refused to respond. Scott was still gently clasping her arms, standing so close to her that the night air around them was scented by the stirring tang of his aftershave.

A moment ago, the way he'd looked at her she'd thought he was going to kiss her . . . and while her heart had pounded with fear she realised that she hadn't hated the idea of being drawn into his arms and losing herself in this illogical wave of emotion that seemed to be engulfing her.

She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her thoughts. She'd let herself go once before like that, and been so badly hurt that she'd vowed never to trust a man again . . .

Maybe Scott was every thing he seemed, maybe the gentle look in his eyes as he waited for her answer was genuine . . .

But it was such a risk to take.

Jessie straightened up, and Scott's strong hands slid down her arms and released her at the wrists as she stepped back.

She'd made a fool of herself by letting him know she'd assumed the worst of him, but it had seemed like the only safe way to protect herself from the unsettling attraction she'd felt since they'd met. He'd almost convinced her that she might have been completely mistaken in him, but Jessie wasn't about to throw her instinctive caution to the wind.

"Okay," Jessie said finally, her voice a little unsteady, "but just dinner, alright?"

Scott's dazzling smile in reply nearly took her breath away and she felt the heat rising in her cheeks as she followed him along the front path to Aunty Ethyl's house.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Aunty Eth," Scott planted a warm kiss on the older lady's cheek before holding the door open for Jessie to pass though, "just had a little misunderstanding to sort out."

But was it sorted out? Jessie wondered as she brushed against him and passed into the hallway, keenly aware of his aunt's perceptive gaze on her.

Rachel Waspe
Sept 3, 05
Funshine999@aol.com

"He's a good boy." Mrs Jamison murmured to Jessie as Jessie helped her to lay the table.

"That's alright for you to say," Jessie grumbled quietly, slapping a fork down in Scott's place with a bit more force than she had intended. "You only see the side of him that appears when he's here - I have to cope with the Scott at work and then try and reconcile him with the Scott that I see here."

"He probably has exactly the same problem with you." His Aunt pointed out. "You're probably different when you're at work from what you're like here."

"Why can't he just leave me alone?" Jessie whispered. swiping a tear from her cheek.

"Because he loves you." Mrs Jamison replied softly.

Rachel Waspe
Sept 8, 05
Funshine999@aol.com

"That's enough, Aunt Ethyl." Both women swung round to find Scott leaning against the doorjamb, listening to their conversation. "I think it's a little early to be voicing opinions like that."

He softened his rebuke with a feather-light kiss on her wrinkled forehead.

Jessie took the opportunity to slip out of the room while their attention was elsewhere. She leaned her head against the wall in the den and allowed one more tear to slide out from under her eyelid.

Elizabeth Delayne
Sept 8, 05
lizdelayne@hotmail.com

"Jessie?"

Scott stepped out of the kitchen and looked around. She'd been quick to disappear from the kitchen, quick to put distance between them. She already been confused enough, did his aunt--sweet and charming and with such good intentions--have to put more on her shoulders?

Then he spied Jessie, through the window, already headed down the street at a fast paced run.

Mrs Brown
Sept 14, 05
mrsbrown1@optusnet.com.au
www.tulipfiction.com

He hesitated only a moment before calling out an explanation to his aunt and bolting out the door after Jessie.

Within two blocks he could feel the sharp edged pain of a cramp in his stomach. He was fit enough from his regular gym workouts, but he certainly didn’t run for fun, not like Jessie did. And tonight she wasn’t jogging with the easy pace he’d seen her moving at the morning she’d passed his home – she looked as though she was fleeing for her life.

Scott forced himself to keep going, his concern for her growing when instead of taking the natural turn toward her home she hesitated and started up the steep hill which led past some of the less pleasant streets of their town. It took a few moments for him to register that she was avoiding the route which led past his own home.

It was only half way up that Jessie finally allowed her pace to slow up and after a dozen or so more steps she stopped, leaning her hands onto her knees as if trying to catch her breath. It gave Scott the chance he needed to close the gap between them, but when he came within a few feet of her she heard his footfall and spun around in fear.

He’d thought she’d be relieved to see it wasn’t a stranger behind her, but his stomach pulled tight when at the moment that Jessie recognised him she straightened up and started as though she were going to bolt from him again.

Scott held his hands up in surrender and sat down on the low brick fence behind him, gasping for breath.

“You’re going . . . . to kill me . . . at this rate . . . Jess,” he confessed with a wry grin, “I’m going . . . to see you . . . home . . . no matter . . . but I’d really . . . appreciate it . . .if you’d slow . . . to a walk . . . or something.”

She nodded, and quickly drew the back of her hand across her eyes, regarding him warily.

“Do you mind . . . if we take . . . a breather first?” he asked, praying for the Lord to show him some way to bridge the distance between them.

Jessie nodded again, then sat down on the fence a couple feet away from him. Her face was hidden in the shadows, but as Scott peered through the dim light he watched in dismay as she leant her head down on her knees and began to cry.

Although he thought his heart would break listening to her despairing sobs, he didn’t dare place his arms around her as he longed to or even risk moving an inch closer. After a few minutes he bear it no longer though, and began to speak.

“Jess, if I can be nothing more to you than a friend – at least let me be a friend to you,” he offered gently. “Why don’t you just tell me everything that’s in your heart – whatever it is surely can’t make either of us feel worse than we already do.”

Elizabeth Delayne
Sept 15, 05
lizdelayne@hotmail.com

Jessie blinked back the tears and tried to focus on Scott. She didn’t think she could explain ... not when the feelings were like rapids running through her, over and around questions and fears.

But the words just tumbled out. “Its just like it always was. Here—now.”

“With me?”

Scott shifted closer to her, his eyes on her.

“With everything,” she dropped her chin and folded her hands together, working through how she should begin.

“We ... moved around a lot when I was growing up. My dad was transferred here and there. Mom and dad ... they would do their best, help me get involved in different areas. I would make friends, take lessons. I played the flute ... the piano, danced ballet ... and about the time I had just started to ...”

“Fit in?”

A single tear escaped and slowly slid down her cheek. She hadn’t expected him to understand–not even something so simple. She wasn’t sure what she expected from Scott.

“Not ... not just that. I never got to the point I could settle into something, fit in so that

I earned my spot. In the band, even if I made it into honor band, I was last chair most of the time. I never had time to work my way up into anything more. In ballet, I was always in the background. I just wanted a chance.”

“I thought I would have it here. I always dreamed of the day I’d graduate, get a real job. I bought a house, planned to dig in some roots of my own. I thought I would have a chance to ... see if I could make it. Just a chance.”

“And then I came and ruined it.”

He frowned over it, a wrinkle forming between his brows. She’d seen it before, when he’d been in deep thought, and had found it oddly attractive–even back then. She reached up without thinking, and tried to smooth it out.

“No ...” she said softly. “You didn’t ruin it.”

He took her hand in his and lowered it, waiting as she struggled over her words.

“I am upset about the job. I’m upset about the way things have ... happened between us. And I’m upset at myself for ... overreacting ... at work, at you’re aunt’s ... and I’m upset because of ... pride; for holding on so tightly to the job that I made such a big deal out of it and nearly missed ... what matters most”

“Like what?”

She looked away from him, surprised she had let herself speak so frankly ... surprised at the words that had tumbled out.

And knowing exactly what she’d meant. God, family, it all mattered ... but he’d begun to matter. Before everything had tumbled into confusion months ago, even from afar, his opinion, his smile, his faith ... it had all mattered. She’d wanted it to matter.

And she’d let herself forget.

She stood, and stepped away from him, aware that he kept hold of her hand. He stood slowly and gently turned her around. “And you’re upset with me, for being blind to you. You’re upset with the words I said ... that hurt you. But are you upset, Jessie, with what you heard my aunt say earlier?”

Jessie stared up at him. There was warmth in Scott’s eyes that she had never seen before. She didn’t know what to say. No one had ever looked at her quite this way.

Scott reached and took her other hand and drew her the slightest bit closer–so that she nearly tumbled into his arms.

Rachel Waspe
Sept 16, 05
Funshine999@aol.com

Scott held his breath and waited, feeling Jessie's heart beating wildly against his chest. He knew that she hadn't meant to tell him everything but he had the feeling that she was glad she had.

But what would her answer be? He almost regretted asking the question. If she admitted that it had upset her to hear his aunt say that he loved her, he would be devastated. Was it a mistake to ask? But no, he wanted to...he needed to know. He couldn't carry on forever in the pattern of the past few weeks. Even knowing the worst would be better than not knowing at all.

But he wouldn't press her. Not now. Not when she was just beginning to open up to him. Not when she had just become comfortable enough to touch him of her own accord.

Scott shivered slightly as he recalled the feel of her soft hand caressing his forehead. He wrapped her a bit tighter in his embrace and leaned his chin on her head.

"It's ok, Jessie," he said softly, "you don't have to answer that just now." Jessie pulled back to look after him. "I want to."

Elizabeth Delayne
Sept 15, 05
lizdelayne@hotmail.com

“It was just such a surprise, to hear her say ... something like that. It’s too soon, isn’t it? Isn’t that what you said? That it was a little early? To talk about... that? I mean—do we, can we really know each other after all the things I’ve thought about you?”

He thought of the look she’d had in her eyes, the look his actions had put there. Her own pride or not, he’d hurt her. It could be said that he’d been so wrapped up in what he felt, or thought he’d felt for her, that he’d missed the most important parts as well.

“Probably not,” he murmured at last, “but I think I can at least tell you that I’m attracted to you.”

“Really?”

A light began to dance in her eyes and for the first time he saw the girl that he’d first fallen for. He could remember that day so well—and would possibly remember it forever. She’d been standing in the hall at work, talking to one of the older secretaries. They’d been sharing some private moment, something that had made her laugh with such a gentle, heartfelt spirit.

He would tell her about it one day. Tell her what he really saw in her.

“Most likely,” he grinned then and gently took a hand in each of his. They stood there, taking a moment, perhaps for the first time, to really look at each other ... to really try and see the other.

For who they were, not just who they thought.

He slid his arm around her, turned back through the neighborhood to head back to his aunt’s. They walked partway in silence, seeming so comfortable, so right, that talking didn’t even seem needed.

Thank you, God.

Then Scott remembered how not talking had gotten them into trouble thus far. His aunt had been right. Jesse was shy.

“So, you think you’d want to go out with me some time?”

She grinned impishly. “Probably. Do you have a date I can put on my calendar?”

“How about tonight. I know a coffee shop that’s open late,” and he didn’t think he would have the patience to sit around his aunt’s for long when he felt like this thing he had for Jessie had finally begun. “They have an amazing apple pie.”

“You know you’re aunt will have desert.”

Sure she would—a sickenly sweet cheesecake he would have to eat every bite of—and as much as he loved his aunt, he just wasn’t sure he could do it tonight.

“We’ll take it to go. After all, we have a busy day tomorrow. A lot of meetings ... a lot of research to do about a new opportunity that had come up for us.”

She looked at him then. “Do we really?”

“I foresee quite a bit. Dates ... of course, baseball ... you do like baseball?”

“Do you like the ballet?”

He grimaced—he couldn’t help it. She laughed--no longer weary, no longer afraid.

“I guess you’ll have to find out.”

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