(That was more trouble than it was worth)
Here is the 1st story! Well, radio comercial!
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Second story (finally)
My Biology Progect : The most interactive inanimate object ever!
While creating a small ecosystem of your own a problem occurs that you need to answer, will playing God work?
A solution that could happens comes to my mind, when people are given smaller life forms to tend to they often get careless and mistreat them causing a devastating reaction to the populous of the controlled forms.
First you must be taught how to set up your own personal world by plagiarizing God’s copyrighted Earth.
+ 1st buy some Grass seed from the black market called the "Pet store"
+ 2nd buy some clover seed that would have been luck for some Irish man, if it weren’ for you!
+ 3rd save 10 dry lima beans from your mother’s "rocket fuel" that she calls "soup"
+ 4th Cross item out
+ 5th refrain from frying 3 lousy earthworms in the hot sun.
+ 6th crawl back under the rock that you came from, and collect 6 isopods.
+ 7th go to a bait shop and keep a hungry fisherman’s family from eating, by buying 6 meal worms.
+ 8th last and most certainly most appreciated, grab 6 crickets and let your neibors finally get some sleep.
Now to proceed in watching a nation rise and then crumble, grab an overly sized 5 gallon jug and put the dirt from your house’s foundation into the jug to about 6 inches above the bottom of the jug. Moisten the dirt with water that you could have wasted in your morning shower.
The first thing that we torture are the lima beans. Place them in the soil about 3 inches deep and don’t let your mom find out that you stole them.
Now pinch the grass seed by the ear and let go, only one pinch mind you. Repeat this except with the clover seeds and by the cheek this time. Now since you can only by clover in 2.5 pound bags, pour the rest into a container and let your simple minded sister play with it, it entertains her for 3 days!
Wait a week and let the plants grow, that means no hedge clippers!
After waiting a week and 3 failed attempts at patients, put in the other 21 unsuspecting things.
Now record the data every 3 days or, wait to the last minute and make it all up. Draw a graph write a "teachers pet contest" lab write-up ad hope to get a good grade!
:( :( :( Now we get to answer questions! :( :( :(
Now tell the few people, board enough to read this, what happened to the population in your bio-dome.
What I got was a lot of dead grub worms, cannibalistic crickets, shy earthworms, and 3 isopods that enjoy hide and go do something else!
Now you get to practice pseudo-science, what do you think was the cause of these horrific murders?
Well since my "see-through cage of death" was; shooken, subject to paint fumes, had 15 crickets instead of 6, placed out of reach of direct sunlight, and only a 1.5 gallon jug was around to use, I’d say it was because the lima bean plant got too big and is bursting out!
Well, now tell the one person of the audience what you would learn if you copied and pasted the project again.
Personally, I would learn how to double my casualties and POW’s prisoners of homework.
Now tell the people how this environment is similar and different to a real one.
Well it is similar because it has living and dying creatures in it, it is different because it kind of has a 4 see-through barriers for stress relief!
Now we get to either show how right we are or how much we should stray from gambling on sports games.
My hypothesis was refuted more so than supported. My earthquake test room was mistreated, but it didn’t cause any devastating effects. I guess nature can withstand the force of neglect, and my mom wouldn’t let us keep our pet turtle.
Now we get to tell people how not to mess up! Write down your mistakes and "wish I duns".
Well I wish I dun and didn’t let my sister put in the 15 crickets, and I wish I dun and told my mom not to do earthquake tests.
See, that was painless, unless you are reading this while in some sort of turture devise.
Wow, can it be? A 3rd story?
A long time ago in a time of great beasts, there lived a man, and another man, and lots more men and some women and children too. Too bad the story isn't about them. This is about a man, but not any ordinary man. He had a tatoo on his arm of dogs playing poker, and every time that he was asked his name, he replied "Hi my name is Rover, I wander around killing dragons, and when they are dead, I know they are dead, because the are dead all over!"
One day a princess was running in distress. She ran ran to Rover and asked, "What is your name, man with a tatoo of dogs playing poker, on your arm?"
He replied "Hi my name is Rover, I wander around killing dragons, and when they are dead, I know they are dead, because the are dead all over!"
"Why are you so short?" the princess asked.
"I'm not really short, I lost my shins in the war! My quest is to go find them!" Rover replied.
"Well you said that you kill dragons right?" wondered the princess.
"Yes I do!", uttered Rover. "Didn't you hear me the 1st time? Hi my name is Rover, I wander around killing dragons, and when they are dead, I know they are dead, because the are dead all over! Now enough about me. Now telll me why you ar wandering around in distress?"
"Oh, This old thing! My mother made me wear it" she answered.
"Not 'this dress'! Distress!" He yelled annoyedly.
"Oh, Distress! Well I sort of have another quest that you might be interested in."
"Like what?" rover asked as if he hadn't already guessed.
"I need you to rid my kingdom of a horrible red dragon!" she exclaimed melodramaticly.
"Not a red dragon!" Rover said just to move along the story.
"you must come with me to the Kingdom of Redundancy Kingdom!" she invited, while grabbing Rover's arm and giving him no other choice. "By the way, my name is princess!"
"And I am! Hi my name is Rover, I wander around killing dragons, and when they are dead, I know they are dead, because the are dead all over!" Rover said without thinking.
When they arrived at the Kingdom of Redundancy Kingdom, Rover asked Princess, "By the way, aren't dragons supposed to kidnap you princesses?"
"No, this one took my brother, the man formerly known as Prince. The dragon is a she you know!" replied Princess
"Umm this may sound silly, but did your father happen to coin the term 'Orange Drink'?" wondered rover.
"No! Of course not! That was silly!" She answered
"Oh." Rover said relieved.
"My mother did!" she replied quickly
Before rover got to open his mouth again, Princess rushed him down to go thwart the Dragon.
The dragon wasstanding on the tallest tower with the man formerly known as prince in one hand, and a peasant woman in the other, playing with them as if they were dolls.
The red dragon saw Rover and roared "Who are you?"
Rover replied casually, "Hi my name is Rover, I wander around killing dragons, and when they are dead, I know they are dead, because the are dead all over!"
Hearing this enraged the dragon, and she leaped in front of Rover and asked, "What did you say?"
Rover replied "Listen this time! Hi my name is Rover, I wander around killing dragons, and when they are dead, I know they are dead, because the are dead all over!"
The dragon roared with anger. Rover quickly drew his sword! Thhe Dragon whipped her tail at Rover, but rover jumped over it. Then she shot fire at Rover, but Rover was too short, and it when over his head.
"Ha! HA! Short little human!" The dragon roared with laughter
"I'm not short, I'm verticly challenged!" Rover screamed as he leaped towards the dragon's head, and took it clear off with one shot.
as a reward the King of Rednundancy King rewarded Rover with his shins.
Stay, tuned more to come!