Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old
to Be Trick or Treating
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You get winded from knocking on the door.
You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
You ask for high fiber candy only.
When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!"
and you're not wearing a mask.
When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
and can't remember the rest.
By the end of the night,
you have a bag full of restraining orders.
You have to carefully choose a costume
that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood
with a walker.
You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
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