Gross about to swear at his computer |
~Rick Gross~
Whether it's lecturing on the Great Depression or giving a guided tour of the Waffle House, Mr. Gross remains committed to teaching U.S. History to the masses. Easily spotted with his tie-dye shirt and signature coffee mug, Gross invites his students to share the mellow experience of learning. The lingering smell of incense and the sound of James Taylor makes Gross's trailer easy to find. While his noble attempt to add a painted mural to his trailer decor was thwarted by the administration, Gross never has trouble finding ways to rebel against The Man. Poole & Peevy Inc. wish Mr. Gross the best of luck as he takes his historical genius down the road to Central Gwinnett High School.
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~Coach Mark Erb~
Like his partner in crime Mr. Gross, Coach Erb holds nothing back when it comes to destroying the student body's ignorance of American Government. This man is truly dedicated to remaining "Focused on Learning." Named MVP by his softball team, Erb proves his talent spreads far beyond the classroom. In addition to teaching, Coach Erb has retained the ability to run in even the shortest of shorts. Along with wearing some what "unorthodox" apparel during the week of Homecoming, Erb is also famous for occasionally interrupting a lecture with the cry of "War Eagle!" We salute Mark Erb as he joins Mr. Gross in Black Knight Country next year.
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Erb working hard at his desk |
Powell and Dean hanging out in class |
~"Uncle" Dave Powell~
While struggling to survive the oppression of the administration, Powell calls Trailer 17 home. Perched in front of the class wearing a hole-filled sweater and dusty boots, Dave ventures to shed new light on the study of social studies. Whether he's discussing Freudian complexes or the Wal-Mart in Winder, he always manages to maintain a liberal spin on the matter. Special Quiz? He don't need no special quiz! Poole & Peevy Inc. proudly salutes Uncle Dave as he returns to yet another Dacula trailer in the coming fall. |
Nolan's Corner: 7-14-02
Nolan's Corner:
Being the observant soul that I am, I've noticed that the topic on everybody's mind seems to be summer vacation...as it rightfully should be. With the stress of planning for college and working to earn extra money, a pleasant trip can prove to be the perfect remedy for the Summertime Blues. Yet, to have a great trip there are a few important thing to consider. While there are several factors to a vacation, I've managed to condense them into The Three F's of a Successful Summer Vacation....
~Friends
Despite what my co-writing companion Jack Clarke may tell you, a successful summer vacation depends not on where you go but who goes with you. Since the shortage of money may require you to spend an extended period of time in the close environment of your companions, it's important that you take people you can tolerate.
If someone annoying should accompany you, it's best for you and the rest of your friends to constantly make fun of this poor individual to provide amusement and prevent the trip from being ruined. In addition to your known friends, I cannot stress the importance of meeting new people while on your trip. These new buddies can often save your life multiple times during the trip. But since we all reveal our alter egos when we cross state lines, it's importat not to judge people by their appearance. Never doubt the character of a shirtless man violently swing golf clubs at people....he might end up being your next best friend.
~Females
It's a well-known fact that women have the ability to make or break a summer vacation. Patrick Henry, the patriotic forefather of our great nation, proudly acknowledged this is his cry before Congress, "Give me liberty or give me breasts!!!" But do not worry, girlfriends of the world, it's possible for guys to interact with other girls without it being sexually oriented (in such case see Paragraph I: Friends). As for the rest of the time, I need to offer a few warnings concerning women. For instance, if in the first ten minutes of a conversation, a girl admits she has little money and no place to stay, then walk away....despite what you see in movies, no good will follow. And I don't care what your told, the Best Ass Contest is never as good as advertised. And in conclusion, always remeber that if a woman is unbelievably good in bed, then she's probably had lots of experience.
~Alcohol
Alright, while I don't consider myself an alcoholic, I do realize that the vast majority of our readers are and are proud of it. So I inlcuded this section despite it's spelling. As for alcohol, most things are self-explanatory but I would like to offer some advice from my own experiences. Never, i repeat never, drink anything that a drunken Scotsman offer to give you...no matter how cool his kilt is. It's been scientifically proven that the Scottish are able to tolerate concentrations of alcohol that are normally used to sterilize medical equipment. You can't hang with this guy, so don't try. Also, always be mindful of what people are telling you. No matter what anyone says, never chase liquor with milk, the end result is not pretty. And always remember the general rule of thumb when drinking tequila: after two shots you can feel it; after three anybody can... Which brings me to my final point, if you have known trouble handling your liquor, allow a friend from Paragraph I to act as a babysitter. This way, you won't lose all your money and won't get a tatoo that may haunt you later in life.
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