For once in a lifetime, the writers of Interactive Fictions sit around very nicely with one another, discussing intelligent topics. Scratch that. Tomas is actually asking Megan how the mating rituals of the fox spirit are. A few of the other writers are kindly avoiding the topic, at least until they quit talking about it. Jonas and his brother Abishai are arguing as usual, and Kira and Alex are arguing as usual. This time though, it's really something good. Alex can't make a list, and Kira's making fun of him for it. Well, some things never change.

Jen and Bel are betting to see who can come up with the best torture for Quicksilver and Tomas, just for the fun of it. For some reason, Kira and Jen who are still in Tomas' debt for being so nice to them and handling some things for their lists, always make up torture for him. Which, really doesn't make any sense, but that's not any difference to the Evil Writers Society.

"Dress him up in a frilly dress!," Jen exclaims happily.

"Been there, done that," Bel replies. "How about. catapult?"

Jen shakes her head. "Kira, Megan, and I already used that one on Alex."

"Hm." Bel falls silent.

Meanwhile, Tomas and Megan seem to have gotten of THAT subject, and are now discussing how Megan tortures him over ICQ. Abishai is quietly listening to them, and Jonas too. They've seemed to be silenced for the time being. Kira and Alex's voices can still be heard, though.

"Can you guys stop fighting and go do something?," Lyta says irritably.

"Like what?," Megan asks.

Lyta shrugs. "Um. I dunno. How about. write some posts?"

Kira, who has picked up their conversation glares at Alex. "Like a certain SOMEONE should do!"

"Always nagging me, always always always!," Alex mutters. "Can't ever be nice for ONE moment."

"Can to," Kira replies. "Just not to you."

Alex begins to grumble, and Kira smiles triumphantly. She doesn't notice the next few words Alex murmurs, though. If she did, she would have clobbered him.

"My fingers hurt too much at the moment," Jonas sighs. He then shoots a look at Kira. "And I wonder whose fault that is."

Kira, pauses, then bursts into tears.

"Oh man, don't cry!," Jonas says, trying futilely to make her be quiet. Of course, all the evil writers now how great this works on the guys.

"ANYWAYS," Alex speaks up. "I would write, but I do have a job to do, which I'm late for."

"Sit down where you are, mister!," Bel says, pointing one of Lizz's swords at Alex's throat.

Alex gulps, "Or I could just stay here with all you wonderful people."

"It would be much easier if all those characters were actually around, so we wouldn't have to write it, but we could just order them do what we say," Audra says. She looks around at all the blank faces. "Um, or not."

"Naw, that's a good idea," Jen says. "But they're not exactly HERE, so it can't work."

"What about Blacknight's fan fic, remember?," Alex asks. "We all ended up in the FF7 world. Maybe that can still happen again." Jen sighs. "From what I remember, it wasn't so nice. Kira got knocked out, remember?"

Alex grins. "That was my favorite part."

Kira smacks him over the head, then crosses her arms. Alex rubs his head, glaring at her every chance he gets. But, like all good guys, they won't hit a girl. That still makes Lizz mad though, how a guy won't hit a girl. Others, like Kira, enjoy the concept.

Suddenly, there's a strange flash of light, and ancient old man appears in the middle of the room in front of all the writers.

"So, you want to see your characters' worlds?," he asks.

"Who the hell are you?!," Tomas demands.

Megan punches him lightly in the arm. "Don't curse. It's bad grammar."

Kira smiles. "Yeah, and it would be a bad influence on your guys' kid!"

Both Tomas and Megan glare at Kira, who in return smiles sheepishly. One of those anime sweatdrops appears at the side of her face.

"I know, I know!," Abishai says. "He's that guy. from that movie. Um. what was it called. you know, that guy!"

Jonas blinks. "Smooth, bro, smooth."

Abishai shrugs.

"Would you all be quiet?!," the man yells.

Somewhat shocked, the writers all fall silent.

"Do you or do you not?"

Jen nods. "Sounds cool. Let's go."

* * *

Jonas stands up and begins to brush himself off, looking around at his surroundings. He's shocked to see he's standing in the middle of the carbon-freezing room he remembers from a movie. Wait, he thinks. This is Star Wars!! Nervously, he looks around and sees Kira flat on the floor herself.

"Ow.," she mutters. "What a ride!!"

"Not as wild as this!," Jonas remarks, and helps her stand up.

"Whoa. Star Wars!," Kira says in awe. "Maybe that old dude was for real."

Jonas shrugs. "Well, whatever the case, I think we're in YOUR IF!"

"Mine? What makes you say that?"

Jonas, who looks rather frightened, points to a dark figure pacing above them on a catwalk. Kira would have shrieked as she realized who it was, but Jonas quickly clamped his hand over her mouth. But for his attempt, Kira only bit him.

"Yeowch!," he yells out.

"Kira? Jonas?! What in the world are you DOING here?!"

Both whirl around to see whose voice it is, but Kira knows who it is right off the bat. She runs over to her one and only fav character of Star Wars whom she owns in her own IF, Obi-Wan Kenobi. (He's even cuter in person!)

"Obi-Wan!," she says happily. "This is soooooooo coool! Wow. And Qui-Gon and Luke and Rune!! I'm gonna faint."

"You're in the middle of Jonas' post," Darth Maul says impatiently from the catwalk. "You know, the one where I create even more hell than I already have. REMEMBER?!"

"Shove it, Maul," Qui-Gon says.

Maul snarls, then his voice begins to waver. "But I wanna create some hell! Why CAN'T I EVER HAVE ANY FUN?! IT'S SO UNFAIR! I'M ALWAYS SEEN AS THE BAD GUY! WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?! C'MON PEOPLE!"

Jonas shakes his head. "Damn, and I thought he was down right evil."

"More like the biggest cry baby in the world," Obi-Wan replies. "Ain't that right, Mauly?"

Maul glares. "You sound like a hick, Kenobi."

Obi-Wan coughs, and chooses to ignore Darth Maul. "Anyways, how did you writers get here?"

"That old man," Jonas says, "I guess he transported us here or something. But if that's the case. where are the others?"

"Maybe they ended up somewhere else," Rune suggests.

"Help!"

The Jedi Knights and the two writers begin to look around to where the voice is coming from. They find Lyta, trying to jump up from the carbon-freezing chamber. Qui-Gon kindly helps her out of there.

"Thanks!," she says breathlessly. "Hey, guys. Rune and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Hm. Weird."

"You're telling me!," Jonas agrees.

"Helloooooooooo!!!," Darth Maul speaks up. "Didn't we have a fight to wage?"

Obi-Wan sighs, and turns to Darth Maul. "Here's how it ends. Anakin shoves you off of a catwalk, you fall to your death. There. Happy?"

Maul hesitates. "Do I get double pay for that?"

Jonas looks at him. "What pay?"

"You mean you're NOT paying me?," Maul says, amazed. "Kenobi, you lied to me!"

"There's a BIG shock," Obi-Wan mutters.

Maul jumps down from where he stands, holding his lightsaber in front of him and waiting for Obi-Wan to speak again. Either way, he's ready to fight.

"Hey, no fighting!," Kira yells. "We're all going to figure out what is going on, and this can go on again."

"I think we should find the other writers right now," Qui-Gon says.

Jonas nods. "Right, to make sure they're not in trouble either."

They begin to walk away, while Maul stays where he is. Upon realizing the others are leaving, he starts to run after them.

"Hey guys! Guys! Guuuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyysssssss!!!!!! Wait for me!!!!!!"

--------

What will happen next? What's happened to the other writers?! Will Maul EVER shut up?

Stay tuned for Part Two, which will come whenever Kira feels like writing it!

~~Kira