"Hydralisk"

slither, slither
claws like soldiers of old
jaws of acid and teeth of death
Hydralisk!

backbone of the swarm
it has no rival;
no foe as efficient
Hydralisk!

from the smallest worm
it grows; tiny and harmless becomes
a monstrosity, killer of men
Hydralisk!

acid spray, needle spines
a low hiss. it hungers;
unquenchable battle lust
Hydralisk!


"Ode to the Zealot"

Than the zealot, there is no creature more noble
His devotion to Aiur is steadfast, immobile
"For Auir!" he cries as he advances
for his enemies there are no second chances

Give him +1 to all his attacks
And watch zerglings die in two whacks!
Sporting psi blades and plasma shields to match
He'll slay any unit the zerg may hatch

At the Citidel get him speed
Dispatching hydras? He'll do the deed!
He can survive the mines to reach point blank
Then have no trouble destroying a tank

Pierce the cardboard armor of the marine
he can; though on firebats he is not so keen
But they too often fall before his might
"Zealots!" they scream, knowing their end is in sight

A warrior who longs for combat
When battle comes, he is sure to stand pat
and do his duty with zeal; no thought of his own loss
for that is the way of the protoss


"The Noble Bengalaas"

This wonderful creature, both hated and praised
has many names, including "This map is overplayed"
He roams the plains
He endures the rains
But he is always there
observing the games

The Ursadon is both mean mean and spiteful
And the Kakaru's appearance is downright frightful
But you'll find the Bengalaas's company to be simply delightful

The Bengalaas persists
The Bengalaas resists

the war raging around him
The Bengalaas is a beacon
For those who have weakened
And have let the darkness surround him


"The Diary of Guy Montag"

Off we went to kill some bugs
me and my boys
we got big guns, space suits
and I got pyrotechnic toys

For three days we tromped
across miles and miles of desert
'till one kid up front cried
"That doesn't look like dirt!"

And it wasn't. It was purple, sticky
and everywhere.
Trademark of the zerg
we knew we were upon their lair

squish, squash, beneath our feet
suddenly they came
little buggers with sharp claws
I lifted my flamethrower and took careful aim

Burn! Burn! Fire consumes all
Stim it up and press the attack!
psssst "Ahhh that's the stuff!"
sigh my boys as they spray orange flak

I love the smell of toasted zerglings
in the morning; but it is now night
We move onward to the Hatchery
Does anyone need a light?

Suddenly, from below
A tentacle! struck Allen in the back
I compensated the beast with a firey vengence
Hellfire's orange glow fades to black

came Lurkers, from behind us
I turned around and stared
in horror as they burrowed
but it seems my fears were shared

by a spy satellite above
blue sparkles all around
and the lurkers were revealed
we fired madly into the ground

the fwoosh of flames
the ratatat of machine guns
the dying wail of Death itself
escapes the creatures' lungs

the Wrath of the Swarm is nothing
next to my deadly barbeque
another day, another victory
for me and my crew


"Radar Man Johnson"

This is my story, I'm Radar Man Johnson
I was born and raised in the great state of Wisconsin
I enlisted at the innocent age of eighteen
My brain ran on sugar, soft drinks and caffeine

My first job was a marine, a pawn in the war
I saw little action, little fighting, little gore
But after some hard-work and devotion
Sarge decided I deserved a promotion

I was assigned a post at the top of a CC
That's Command Center for short, you see
I was given some binocs so i could see more
Everyone was jealous as i lifted the Fog of War

One day as I watched, I spotted a drone
I gasped in horror as I picked up the phone
This Zerg creature never travelled alone
"Sarge, we got trouble" I said in a serious tone

Upon hearing the news, a barracks was started
We needed marines, our base needed to be guarded
The barracks was finished, and I thought all was well
When I saw 6 zerglings, the beasts from Hell

I screamed to Sarge, "WE'RE BEING ATTACKED!"
I watched in horror as our base was sacked
As the killing raged on, I was sure i would die
But to my delight, we raised the the sky

We had lifted off! The zerglings were no threat
There was no reason to worry, no reason to sweat
Suddenly, the Zerg Creep was all around!
This disgusting substance covered the ground

But still the Creep could do nothing to our CC
"These Zerg are pathetic" Sarge said to me
But as we looked a drone started... morphing!
Was I going insane? Was I high on morphine?

The little Zerg unit became something bigger
I pulled out my pistol, finger on trigger
Where the drone had been, there now was a living tower
And as I gazed on, the situation turned sour

The Zerg building began shooting globs at our CC
I turned to Sarge, thinking he could get us free
But as I watched, he pulled out his gun
And emptied the chamber; His life was done

The tower kept shooting, our CC was almost gone
The Terran brain had lost to the Zerg brawn
I'm Radar Man Johnson, and this is my story
Please, no more wars, they tend to get gory


"Channy M"

There was once a boy named Channy M
who would spend every waking hour
staring at a computer screen,
stopping occationally to shower

Days and nights he would spend
in this petty pursuit
of another win, another opponent
for at Starcraft he was quite astute

the best of the best would face him
although he never saw a face
and in the end they all would fall
and log off in disgrace

For when skill and scheming failed him
he had another trick to play
when the tide of battle turned against him
his opponent disconnected, to his or her dismay

"drop haX0r!" he was called
although he paid it no heed
the fact was that others' records
his own could easily exceed

hours turned to days and months
which quickly turned to years
until he grew a beard upon his chin
and long hair down over his ears

years and years and years went by
and his lion's mane went grey
and some of it began to fall out,
settling by his feet in disarray

eight thousand wins? pshaw
he had a hundred times that
product of his endless hours
of simulated combat

On and on until one day
the old creature Channy M
withered and malnourished
had something finally occur to him

life had passed him by
there are no second chances
many things now he can never enjoy
kisses, women, dances

For who can love a feeble old man
who has no time left to waste
who is nothing with nothing to show for it
With cruel reality he was faced

Sadly that night Death took him
while sitting in his chair
face slumped against the screen
and no one at all to care


"The Comp Stomper"

I am the Comp Stomper
It may not be my first day
But the blood of the newbie flows in my veins
Seven of me to bring down a comp
I am ignorant, perhaps even stupid
I am the fat of the online community
And unfortunatly the community is chubby